get ready for me being stressy messy and depressy instead of live laugh lesbian 

I'm not currently feeling like this rn but I was for a hot minute cuz whenever I have feelings for people those feelings eat me up inside and this was a time when I had like no hope whatsoever for a lil bit but my delusion has returned... whether that is good or bad is still to be determined anygays 

With each person

i fall

faster and

harder.

i become

more 

delusional 

and 

and 

and. 

my heart 

is broken

faster. 

what i wouldn't give 

for one more day

of peaceful

ignorant 

bliss.

delusion 

misplaced confidence

disguised as 

hope. 

naive, 

foolish,

childish

hope. 

looking back,

i should've 

known. 

no. 

i did 

know. 

but 

i didn't want 

to believe. 

i clung 

to false 

hope 

like a child. 

I was so 

desparate 

i wanted something 

I'd never have 

Craving something 

they can't give. 

i was selfish.

greedy. 

tired. 

i just wanted 

to be wanted. 

i wanted her

to want me 

the same. 

nahhhhhh aint no way 

urm what the flip you guys ☝️🤓

ngl I don't blame past me for feeling this way and writing these things but now that I'm reading it I feel kinda cringe 🤡

I think the reason I haven't confessed or dropped any massive groundbreaking hints is cuz I know that once I do my bubble of bliss will be popped and I won't have it back for who knows how long 

delusion can be comforting sometimes ok 😭

ok bye have a nice life my lovelies imma go do some stuff now jkjk one last thing to publish then I'm done for now sorry if my publishing completely bombarded ur notifications-

-JJZ