Written January 22, 2018

I loved myself so much
Something I've said before
Old conversations and just such
I guess I was a bore

I suppose I'll tell my story
In a way it won't be seen
But bring yourself no worry

For months, I've been clean

So often I was found
Just sitting in my room
You'd hear no slightest sound
My room was more a tomb
I'd lock myself away
Oh, time and time again
It'd go more than just a day
I'd not know how long it'd been

But one day it got worse
Though I thought it never would
I did whatever hurts
But never what was good
I wore longer sleeved shirts
Did just nothing I should
I cried, "Oh God, it hurts."
But knew that it was good
No longer could I wear skirts
I cut where'er I could
I'd say, no matter how it hurts,
"I deserve it, pain is good."

So give me something quick to etch
deep within my skin
Or maybe tell me I should retch,
Empty my gut again

It doesn't matter what I do
The demons, they remain
My emotions really are a zoo
I'll ne'er be whole again

But for now the demons rest
Though still are in my mind
It seems my life, by you, is blessed
Your actions are so kind

So do me just one favor, love,
And that'll be all required
Keep demons away, just shove
'cause often I'm too tired
And stay right where you are, my love,
That's really all requireed

Because the monsters, they see you,
And quit their romping in my hear
You make my world so clean and new

I feel, once more, that I'm not dead

So stay right where you are, my love
and keep my head above the sea
You keep them all away, my olve,
And you just set me free.

I know someday, you may be gone
It happens every time
I know not, then, could I sing my song
Because you are my rhyme

For one like me, to care is bad
Because I depend on you
One day I'll be so very sad
You'll say "goodbye; adieu"

And when that day comes, you will see
With flowers 'round my hear
With me adorned in icy red, my 
        thoughtful quick apology
I can say I may be dead

But darling please fret not for me
I can't wait for it, you see
My thoughtful quick apology
So take the poems all from me
And send them to the sea
And I will send to you from me
A loving, quick apology
I want to leave this world, you see
Please just do this; please, for me

It may have been a bore, but that is my story. It got worse; my skin, it hurts, but I just need some rest. So keep them at bay, love, do all things but sway, so I may sleep quickly. For I know you'll soon be gone, but I live in the 'now'.

And when that time comes
And at last you can see
Give me the promise, love,
You'll do all this for me.

-K.S.