I'm about to complete a legacy like 

A foreign man etching his name in unknown concrete jungles

I'm about to graduate

I'm about to take the next step...

And I'm scared

Am I really capable?

Am I qualified

After all the training I've been through

WAS IT REALLY WORTH THE COST?!

To get and even keep

a job 

that suits my necessary needs and maintains my personality 

and my ever psychotic imagination?

Will all the training and help I've been getting 

lead me down 

the right path

the job i actually want 

Or like to possess?

Is it even possible to get a good job?

Probably

Not!

Oh boo hoo!

Even with all that training,

I may need to change the way i work

and how i view the way others work and function in society.

But will it be possible for me to be able to 

maintain what i already do

as well as a somewhat well-paying job 

all at once?

I always question whether or not i should just stick to the status quo of life

Or lead a much more creativity-filled one?

I always end up with a lukewarm answer

or maybe wings to help me fly

off by the seat of my pants

I tend to play and joke around

I talk too much to myself and to others

How can i listen for what i want to know

If my emotionally abrupt mind tends to paint a picture

Of what others probably should know

but they don't

I shudder at danger 

I cringe at disaster

I become snide towards perfection

and snobbish towards the nostalgic

How am i able to get a job...and keep one

If i'm too wrapped up in my own selfish emotions and desires?

I still haven't gotten an answer

or a focus point

Nobody knows what i want to know 

And yet, I yearn for the day where i'll be able to write my own destiny for a change

And receive beyond reason what job will be worth my training for

My striving to compete for

My price of elite ignorance

Or trusting other strangers for

I mean 

Is it too much to ask for a straight answer right now?

I want to be a poet but i can't keep my life as is if i do

So i train to become a better Office Assistant...hopefully qualify-able at least for some

Part-time Job, but

What is out there?

And what occupation or trade is out there that's right for me

It better not be as challenging as climbing a mountain

Yet i don't want it to be tedious or boring

*sighs* what's a girl to do?