I look at the memories of the past
The struggles
The pains
The smiles
The laughs
The cloud

I thought I dragged myself from the depth of ocean
Freeing myself from the waves

But now as look at it

I left depth
But forgot to leave the chains

I passed the blame and the denial
Yet but that was never truly it

I look around
Too it got worse

I swallow to much poison water in my struggles
I drowned to many times

That now the liquid live in my lungs
The weeds at the ocean constricted my throat

My heart pounds harsher than the waves

I'm drowning on land
I'm suffocating with air all around me
I can't take a breath
My body still thinks I'm drowning in the poison sea

I can't breathe
My heart twists my soul
My lungs filled with poison
My body aches

Why go on?

Because I'm stronger than this
I'm on land,
Surround by fresh air
But i can't breathe

My memories
It's full with isolation and despair
More than love and kindness
But yet
My mind plays tricks

My laughter can be change to wail of tears
My breakdowns can be bittersweet

I'm no longer I was
But who even was that?
Who am I?

I don't know
But I'm will to try,
To find out

I'm will says I'll fight