As I look around
I start to life bloom before me
But it seems to shrivel with in me

My life was once like there
Filled with hope and grand future a head

But now as look with in
I see nothing worth with in my soul
I try to stay a float in my mind
But I can sink and became a shell

The emptiness seem to grow
Others times it descend

But what once that was getting better was really let it take over
And now I sit here in despair

And wonder how to tell
If it grows or wallows away
How can I tell from this mess I have became

I forced my way to the top just sink again and ponder the beginning

Childhood is gift
A blessing
It seems
or was it a curse?

I'll never know it seems
My life is head
And black void of the unknown

I use to prance to a Golden lighten path
Only to find a dark looming sky
I can so many good possibilities
But to many risk that'll ruin the way of light

My path is no longer glowing
But I know it should

People speak of brightening my path before I go

But I can't

I feel tired of the fight and battle
it constant hold on the bay of life

I'm tired tired of try
I'm tired of holding On

So I sit here wander where I have gone
The schedule that drones on
The constant pain and stress

What happened to the joy?
Have I sank to far?
Have I gone so far there's no one left?

I remember thing I should be happy they left
To feel good there away from my suffering

I'm tired of try to tell others my pains
Than being turned around
As if I'm the fool

My jokes and light have gone
My sarcasm sound like drone
Leaving people to wonder if meant it or not

Sometimes I don't even know

Sometimes things fly out of my mouth
and I wonder why I speak at all

Is this what is suppose to be like?
I'm I alone on a terrifying plane alone
Or can I fight

No fight is no long there
Just a will to not go
An ache for more in life
A wish of survive to be like the rest agian
To be free of this tormenting path

How can I sing of freedom
when I long long forgot what it is?

Is this how it'll go on
For now on!

A path of loneliness and plea for help
Or can I make more of myself
By going one tiny step at a time

This will be my  reckoning to the world

No longer to I feel the need to shout to the world
who I am and how I'll conquer my demons to save myself
I no longer wish to lose strength to be no longer heard

I'll whisper
And I'll chant
I'll summon my strength for this and that
I'll break the shell and became something new

Even when that terrifies
It no longer compares
to my demise here
Alone in shell of someone who no longer exist

Shy and alone
But surround by those I know
Those who I can summon strength to
Those who needs my lost strands of will

Or

Shy and alive
Living and breathe life to those around me
To be humble to those who needs my strength
To speak like who I am
But think of others
A voice that may not be heard, but echoes from within and vibrates life in others

That's who I choose to be
A shadow to help
But light for myself
And learn that it's not selfish
To want live and grow bright
And leave other behind

Because in the end
Who is the one you lived with the most?
Yourself or them

It better to how your light to others to light these
Than sink along with them
Because both of you can be left behind
In the void

So life each other up
And scream or shout or whisper or mime
That you need light
And let that guide the way to
living for yourself

Not for others,
But
bring light to other instead