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Chapter 9

"Lilianne, are you already finished and you're using your phone now?" said Mr. Brown when he caught Lilianne using her phone.

Deja vu.

So she's really back, huh? Back on the day where it all started.

Lilianne has a plan. She wants to reset it. But she's still in a dilemma. If she just lets Winona confess, then Tristan will lie about his feelings and Winona won't know. That's not fair.

But if she's the one who will confess to Tristan, she might lose Winona again and she doesn't want that to happen.

Should she just do something new to make a new timeline? But what if what'll happen is worse this time then she can no longer time travel again?

No, this should be the last time she will time travel. She just wants everything else to go back on how things should be.

"Give me your phone and finish your work first then I'll give it back to you." she got lost in her thoughts when Mr. Brown spoke once again

"I'm actually finished." she answered

"Really? Okay, why don't you read it in front of the class." Mr. Brown replied

Lilianne cleared her throat. "Is it really needed to do that?"

"What do you mean?" Mr. Brown asked

"I mean, for privacy purposes. It's personal. It's exclusive to the sender and the receiver. We shouldn't say it out loud." She's not the type of student to talk back to the teacher but she needed to do this hoping this would work.

Mr. Brown thinks for a while. "You got a point. You can just give that to whoever you wrote to after class if that's too personal."

She exhales a sigh of relief. Phew. It works.

"But if anyone else wants to read it out loud, you still can." Mr. Brown added "Anyone wants to go first? No pressure if it's personal."

Oh no! She thought it's already over. She looks at Winona. Winona seems to be contemplating whether she would raise her hand or not.

'Please don't raise your hand. Don't read it out loud.' Lilianne chants in her mind. She cannot talk to Winona because their seats are far from each other so she secretly opens her phone again to text Winona.

Winona received and turned to Lilianne's location. Then she also secretly used her phone to reply to Lilianne.


Lilianne is confused and alarmed. This is new. She doesn't know what's happening and what could be the possible result of this outcome.

Tristan is now standing in front of their class after their teacher gave him permission. She looked in Winona's direction who was also looking back at her. Her eyes seem like asking what Tristan is doing there but Winona just shrugged and faced in front when Tristan started to catch the attention of the class.

"My bestest friend," He started "We have been best friends for a long time. I know that we are like sisters and brothers. I tried to ignore my growing feelings for you but I just can't. You're not just a best friend to me. I want us to be more than that."

Tristan pauses for a while as the class cheers because of his confession and guessing to whom it might be.

This deja vu but not so deja vu is too much to handle for Lilianne. She had seen this exact moment three times now but with different outcomes. Hopefully this one went well.

"Class, be quiet! Respect your classmate." Mr. Brown stopped the noise of his students. "Tristan, continue."

"I don't want to beat around the bush. I'm in love with you," Tristan pauses once again at the last part, giving the class the suspense. The class was anticipating for him to finish as he spoke again.

Tristan's eyes met Lilianne's—her eyes widened and it felt like her breathing stopped; she thinks she knows what is he going to say next—as he said the last line, "I'm in love with you, Lilianne Parker."

Chills all over Lilianne's body. The class shouted in excitement for the two of them. Their teases get louder when Tristan walks toward Lilianne's direction to give his letter.

Lilianne looks at Winona's direction to see her reaction. Surprisingly, she's looking back at Lilianne with a mixture of shock and happiness in her face. She even gave Lilianne both thumbs up when Tristan already handed his letter.

Is Lilianne seeing this right? Winona is happy about what's happening? Or maybe she's just faking it? But her reaction really looks genuine especially when she joined the class in teasing the two of them.

"Woah, that was intense." Mr. Brown commented when Tristan went back to his seat.

"It's now Lilianne's turn."

"She should respond to Tristan's letter."

"Go Lilianne!"

The class now focused on Liliane and cheered her to read her letter. But she is hesitant. This wasn't her plan.

Mr. Brown shushed the class once again. "Class, she said she's not gonna read her letter. Don't pressure her."

"Maybe she doesn't like Tristan back."

"Aww poor Tristan."

"Tristan got rejected!"

The class already made up a conclusion and is now laughing and making fun of Tristan. Lilianne saw Tristan look down on his desk, not showing his face. Winona is looking at her, then at Tristan looking sad, then back at her looking worried.

She feels bad. The reason why she doesn't want to read her letter in front is because she doesn't want to upset Winona. Looking back at Winona's response to Tristan's letter, she doesn't look upset at all. And now Tristan is the one upset!

No, this can't be. She doesn't want to upset the both of them.

She clears her throat and raises her hand catching the attention of the whole class and their teacher, "Actually, I changed my mind. Can I read my letter?"

"If you insist." Mr. Brown replied

She walks in front and faces the class. She can see everyone. Everyone's anticipating her next move.

Her eyes once again met Tristan's. He looks nervous and excited at the same time, but mostly nervous because he doesn't know if Lilianne will reciprocate his feelings.

Winona on the other hand is rooting for her two friends. She mouthed "go" and raised her two thumbs up when Lilianne looked in her direction. Lilianne responded with a smile.

"To my dearest friend," she started pouring her heart out. Deja vu once again creeps her body. She got chills for doing this exact moment for the nth time.

She could feel her heart in her mouth while reading her piece in front of the class; even if she had already done this multiple times. Can you blame her? Her poems have dangerous consequences, especially when burning them.

"Long story short, I love you, Tristan Martin. Always and Forever, Lilianne Parker" She finished reading.

The class once again roared in amusement and happiness for their two classmates who have been secretly in love with each other. Who would have thought.

Lilianne once again made eye contact with Tristan. Both of them are smiling from ear to ear. Before she walked towards his direction to give her letter, she looked in Winona's direction.

Winona is also smiling while joining the class in their josh for the two, and even put a double thumbs up when she made eye contact with Lilianne. The smile might not be from ear to ear but Lilianne can feel that it is genuine. She also knows that behind that smile, her friend is hiding a little—she hopes it's only a little due to her reaction today compared to what happened at the last timeline she created—bit of pain.

The class went by. Many have spoken in front of the classroom confessing their feelings and appreciating one another.

The class ended. While waiting for the next teacher, Lilianne immediately went to Winona's seat. Many students also went to different seats and minding their own businesses, enjoying the time before the next class. "You didn't read yours."

"Jeez, you startled me." Winona was surprised by Lilianne's sudden appearance. "I told you I won't. And what for? To make a fool of myself?" She chuckled, and kids, "Why are you even here? Go there with your boyfriend!"

"He's not my boyfriend!" Lilianne corrects

"...Yet." Winona teases

Lilianne jokingly rolls her eyes. "C'mon, are you really fine with this?"

"Why not? You two are my friends." Winona answers

"But..." Lilianne paused. She doesn't know if pushing Winona to expose whom Winona has written her letter to will help but she really wanted to know about her friend's thoughts.

Winona furrowed her eyebrows. "But what?"

Lilianne heaved a deep breath. She just needs to be honest. "Don't you write a letter to Tristan too?"

Winona's eyes widened and covered her folded letter that is still in her arm chair. "How did you know?"

Or maybe Lilianne needs to lie a bit. "I kinda saw it when I walked in front earlier as I passed by your seat."

Winona curses. "I'm not careful! What if someone saw it too?"

"Okay, chill. I think no one else saw it." Lilianne hushes her friend as Winona is slowly panicking. "I mean, if they did, they would probably shout it out loud like a typical highschooler would."

"Okay, I'm trusting you." Winona inhaled deeply and took a few seconds before she exhaled. "This is a secret."

"Are you sure?" Lilianne asked. "You don't want Tristan to know?"

Winona gasped because she's not expecting Lilianne's response. "What for? We already know my feelings are not reciprocated. You already confess to one another and it'll surely lead to a next level. What's the sense of telling him? To steal him from you?"

"It's not about that. I mean, you won't steal him, right?"

"Duh, I'm not a homewrecker."

"What home?!"

Winona shrugs.

"Anyways," Lilianne brings back the topic. "It's not about reciprocating feelings. His loss for not liking you back."

Winona scoffs. "Wow, coming from you?"

"Yeah, I'm so hypocritical for that. Sorry."

"Not anyone's fault tho."

"So what I'm saying is that it's about telling your truth. Don't you just feel free to live your truth, regardless of the outcome?" Lilianne continued. "Keeping a secret, especially to a friend, is so hard as if you're always caged and suffocated because you can't express your true self." Lilianne knows the feeling. She's been there.

"Hmm," Winona pondered Lilianne's insights. "You have a point."

"But I'm not pushing you. Maybe you feel pressured. I swear, if you want to keep it a secret, I will. Don't do something you don't want to do."

"Well, I've always wanted to say. I'm just always having second thoughts. I feel like when I finally said it, like you say, I will feel free. You're right though, having secrets feels suffocating. Talking to you about this makes me feel less suffocated. It feels easier to breathe now that I have someone to talk to. I think saying that to him will make me feel better. Just saying it, not expecting him to like me back or anything in return." Lilianne smiles genuinely while Winona is speaking. She always admired Winona's braveness. This is something she regretted not doing before: not living her truth. If only she confesses back then, regardless of the outcome, she wouldn't ruin everything.

"Like you said, his loss." Winona added. "Can't believe he chose you over me. I'm better!" She jokes as she let out a laugh.

"Excuse me?" Lilianne gasped and laughed as well. "Well, I would agree to that."

"Ha-ha! Chill, I'm kidding."

"It's nice that we're joking about this."

Winona returns to being serious. "Saying that to him won't ruin the friendship of the three of us, right? He won't hate me, right? You don't hate me?"

"Of course not! Shame on him if he hates you and why would I hate you over a guy?!"

"You're right. Fuck men!"

"Yeah, fuck men!"

The two high-fived and let out a laugh.

"Hi, girls!" The two were startled by a voice, it was Tristan.

Lilianne awkwardly smiled at him because they were just talking about him. He responds with another awkward smile, acting like the confession between the two of them earlier didn't happen. Winona awkwardly shared eye contacts with the two. Since when did the atmosphere between the three of them become awkward? Now Lilianne's scared of what will happen next in this new timeline.

"So," Winona coughs, clearing the deafening awkward silence that lasts for five seconds. "What's up?"

"Uhm, good?" Tristan answers.

"Uhm, good?" Winona mocks Tristan.

"What?" Tristan laughs. "What are you two talking about, anyways?"

Winona and Lilianne exchanged eye contact.

Tristan noticed it. "Is it a girls thing or—"

Winona spoke before Tristan could finish his sentence. "I wrote a letter for you."

"Aww, that's so sweet. Why didn't you read it earlier?" Tristan paused as his smile slowly faded when he realized, "I mean, it's a friend appreciation letter, right?"

Winona inhales deeply as she prepares for the revelation she was about to say. Lilianne on the other hand was just watching the two.

"I like you." Winona said seriously.

"Like?" Tristan gulps. "As in platonically? Aw, I like you too."

Winona grunts. "More than friends. Like romantically."

Tristan's eyes widened. "I–" He tried to speak but Winona stopped him. "Shh, I'm not yet finished."

"Jeez, what I just said was so cringy." Winona added. "So, yeah, whatever. I don't know what other way to say it. I just want to say it."

"Here." Winona hands her letter to Tristan which he accepts. "It's supposed to be yours anyways.

Tristan tries to unfold the letter Winona gave but Winona stops him. "No, please, don't read it in front of me. You can just read it alone at home later. Or don't read it at all and destroy it and let's all forget about it. Or burn it, whatever."

"No!" The two looked at Lilianne when she spoke. "I mean, no, don't burn it." Burning letters traumatized her. Her friends gave her a curious look "I mean, it produces smoke that is bad for the environment." Tristan and Winona looked at her weirdly and nodded at her.

"So," Tristan taps into the letter. "I can't just forget about it, Win. I'm sorry I don't feel the same way about–"

Winona stopped his sentence once again. "I think I already know what you will say. Please don't state what's obvious. Don't slap in my face about my unrequited feelings for you and you friendzoning me. It makes me wanna puke and hang myself."

"Winona!" Lilianne rebukes. "Don't say that!"

"Jeez, I'm joking." Winona defended. "I'm sorry I don't know what I'm saying I'm panicking deep inside. Can we just forget about the last 5 minutes? I mean, where's our next teacher?"

It is obvious that Winona is panicking. The three of them exchange stares.

"No way, I can't just forget that. What you did is so brave." Tristan suddenly hugged Winona. "You're so sweet and lovely and kind and funny. May you find someone that would reciprocate your feelings."

"Jeez, that's cringier than what I said. It makes me lose my feelings for you." Winona kids as she awkwardly hugged him. Tristan just laughed at her response.

"Aww, y'all so cute!" Lilianne exclaimed, being happy that they're feelings are not a hindrance to their friendship. "Group hug!" She said as she joined the two.

"Okay, this is weirdly awkward." Winona is the first one to break the hug. "You two lovebirds should leave me alone because your lovey-dovey feelings are contagious and I hate it."

Tristan scratches the back of his head and shyly looks at Lilianne upon hearing that.

"Oh, come on." Winona facepalms after seeing Tristan's reaction. Lilianne just laughed. "Why are you shy now? You're the first one to confess."

"Go have a date." she added. "There's this new café at the mall. The desserts there are so delicious! Y'all should go there. It's a perfect place to date."

"Will you join us?" Lilianne asked.

"And be a third wheel?" Winona scoffed. "No way!"

Even Lilianne knows what she just asked is a dumb question to invite her friend who also has feelings to someone whom she has mutual feelings to. But she felt like everything's going well now that they all have no secrets to each other, she doesn't want to ruin this healthy friendship. She doesn't wanna cause more trouble. "Well, it sounds like it's your favorite café but it's fine. I understand if you won't."

"Hmm, well," Winona thinks. "It really is my favorite. Maybe I'll go there and you two find a different place to date."

"Maybe you should also find someone to date there since you said it's perfect for a date." Tristan kids.

But Winona just put on a grimace. "Too soon, Tan. Too soon."

Tristan awkwardly smiles while scratching his head. "Sorry, my bad. I thought we're already there."

Winona just chuckled as she waves her hand. "Whatever." She said as they both shared a hearty laugh.

Lilianne smiles seeing them like this. She cannot handle her happiness and she once again hugged the two who were surprised at her sudden action. "I'm so happy we're friends!"

"Gosh, since when did you become clingy?" Winona commented as she tried to get out of Lilianne's grasp but Lilianne just let out a laugh still squishing the two of them.

Someone suddenly opens the classroom door. "Sorry, I'm late," said their next teacher.

"Thank Goodness!" Winona said as she broke out from Lilianne's hug. All of them went back to their assigned seats as they started the class.

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