i think it's easier to die than to be left behind
dying is easy
simple
painful sometimes, but not for long
no, the real pain is telling your children
your brother
your mother
your family
that one of you is gone
they're not coming back
they will never see you grow up
will never see who you turn out to be
they won't be at family dinners
or in the next year's family photo
they won't age
they will stay exactly as they are in your mind
no growth
no nothing
and pretty soon you'll forget
you'll go on with your life
and one day you'll remember who they were
how they smelled
what they missed out on
and the pain? that's something that never really goes away
because as soon as it's gone
another knife is there to take its place
the dead have it easy
all they had to do was die
- j

wrote this one a while ago and it still hurts wow