I feel trapped

Like I'm chained to a ball

I'm feeling like crap

But I can't tell you it at all

You want this

You want that

So just for your bliss

I try not to fall flat

Even if it hurts me

Even if my heart dies down

I can't stand your discontent, you see

I don't want you to frown

I don't want your disappointment

Or your dissatisfaction

Therefore, for your enjoyment

I'll proceed with the action

Even if it hurts

Even if I'm in pain

Even if it feels like eating dirt

Even if it leaves me strained

"It's ok!"

"It's worth it!"

That's what I say

Somehow that's all it takes to permit

Even when I'm crying

Even when I'm left in wounds

Left limp and dying

And wrapped up for days like a cocoon

How can I make this stop?

How do I grow?

How do I place my priorities on the top?

Do I even know?

It seems like I don't

When it comes to being selfish, I freeze

When I can set boundaries, I won't

Someone please instruct me, please

Someone show me

Give me a chance

Please, I beg and plea

Because I can't be the mat where others dance

A/N: As you can TELLLLLLL, I've been very self-aware of my people pleasing tendencies 🙃🙃 And I'm hating it and wish I'd go back to the days where I DIDN'T recognize that I can't say "no" to people regardless of them. BUUUUUUUUT- maturity and mental illness hates me soooo- I'm suffering and I'm sorry if you're feeling overbeared with my ~consisten ranting~ but oh well, social media feels like my only safe space so like- yeah.

Nuny Out.