Mama, if I told you

I wanted to die

What would you do?

Would you hug me? Scream? Cry?

If I said I've contemplated suicide

Would you help me out

Or would I have to hide?

Would my trust in you wither in doubt?

Mama, if I told you

Your happy little girl has grown into fear

Would you help me through?

Cradle me in your arms and say, "Don't worry, I'm here."

If I told you I was numb with anxiety

Would you let me stay comforted in your arm?

Let me cry and just be me

Would you protect me from my internal harm?

Mama, if I told you

These questions plagued me every day

What would you do?

What would you say?

Would you be disappointed I didn't tell you before?

Or would you be mad I had these thoughts to begin with?

Would you excuse me from saying anything more?

I'm scared... and I hope you understand when I tell you this