this was inspired by isen from the webtoon unordinary and ig general stuff ive seen abt being left out
i have this thing where i like to imagine my fav characters in super sad situations-
no this isnt based off my experiences, i would be quite concerned if that was the case 🤡 im saying this cuz my friend irl thought it was AJFKAJD

again, i just wrote this cuz i was bored. idk much abt what considers as poetry so i guess it's here bc I can't really throw it w my oneshots

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i'm the comedic relief

i'm the one to take the jokes (why do they sound so much like jabs?)

i'm the one to wipe their tears (why do they never wipe my own?)

they think it's funny, so i play along

"Ha ha, they're just like that, you know them, clumsy idiot!"

friends joke, but why are their jokes always directed towards me? am i the only target?

"Oh come on, what'd they do this time?"

"Can't expect any more from them to be honest."

the price to pay for being the laughingstock...

tick tock goes the clock

i'm having fun, i really am, but why am i counting the minutes before i can leave?

i want to be here, but i want to get up and run far and never come back

"Don't be so sensitive!" perhaps i am being too uptight

is that right? am i wrong?

i'm the one to take the jokes (why do they sound so much like jabs?)

i'm the one to make sure no one's left out (why does nobody ever return the favor?)

they think it's h̶ys͟teri🇨 al. my act is starting to crumble

friends joke, but is it supposed to be targeting one's insecurities? i can't tell if they're being sarcastic or not anymore i̶f̶ t̶h̶e̶y̶ e̶v̶e̶n̶ a̶r̶e̶

"Oh come on, you know we don't mean it!"

"Can't expect any less from you."

The price to pay for being the laughingstock

it starts to hurt, but i know i'm overreacting. It's not that deep, they're just trying to be funny. i can take it. it doesn't even happen that often i̶t̶ h̶a̶p̶p̶e̶n̶s̶ e̶n̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ t̶o̶ h̶u̶r̶t̶

"Can't you be useful for once?!" Words exclaimed in a moment of anger-he wanted such a simple piece of information i couldn't bring. i'm supposed to be an expert at gathering information-at being useful i̶ t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶t̶ i̶ w̶a̶s̶

empty words, yet why do I feel the wound stinging?

Tick tock goes the clock. It's ten seconds to New Year's, I'm standing away from the party. i feel sick

i am the comedic relief

i have to be

even if i have to take all their jabs. and wipe my own tears. and be left out. and insulted, time and time again, even if i have to let them make a mockery of me

because that's my job-make them laugh

The price to pay for willingly being the laughingstock

i can hear the fireworks. my ears are ringing, the blood rushing through my head

my head is pounding

i̶'m̶ n̶o̶ l̶o̶n̶g̶e̶r̶ t̶h̶e̶ c̶o̶m̶e̶d̶i̶c̶ r̶e̶l̶i̶e̶f̶

it's been painfully obvious for weeks

!!!! !! ! !!! i've been REPLACED !!! !! ! !!!! !!!

i watch as my replacement laughs and jokes with them

i can only watch as the three playfully shove each other, their laughter echoing in my ears

i'm spiraling

my head can't take it. my knees can't take it. my lungs can't take it. my heart can't take it.

i'm gasping i̶'m̶ f̶i̶n̶e̶ i can't breathe i̶t̶'s̶ o̶k̶a̶y̶

i've been replaced

i've been replaced

i've been replaced

i've been-

someone's hugging me-i feel the f̶a̶m̶i̶l̶i̶a̶r̶ foreign warmth of a hug. i don't know what's real or fake anymore, but i cling to the imaginary person

they wipe my tears

i can't believe it. someone's wiping my tears? they're actually bothering to do that?

wait i'm crying? no, i couldn̶'t̶ be.

but i'm no longer the comedic relief, i realize. i can cry now

"you always could."

i... can actually cry now?

friends joke, but why did their jokes always hurt? why did they never hug me and tell me it was okay to cry?

"...pfft, he actually believed that?"

i gasp. suddenly the embrace i'd been hanging onto like a lifeline was gone-they'd slipped right through my fingers.

why does it feel like i just got stabbed in the heart? why did i get such whiplash?

no no no...

i have no idea if i am still dreaming, or if this is some twisted turn.

"You're so funny, [redacted]!"

"Ha ha!"

"Look at them, they look so pitiful!"

i shut my eyes, forcing my eyelids together as if i can glue them shut and never open my eyes again. never have to see the mocking looks and cruel laughter-

my tears feel frozen and icky on my face, my hands are shaking and i have no idea what to do with them

i cannot fathom why my suffering is so funny to my f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶s̶ on-lookers

was their friendship all a lie? an act?

why do i always have to take all of their jabs?

why do i always have to wipe their tears?

why do i always have to be left out?

why do i always have to be insulted, time and time again?

why do i let them make a mockery of me?

what did i ever do? what was my crime?

but they thought i was funny, so i played along

because i'll forever be the one they laugh at, and never the one they laugh with

that's the price i pay for willingly being the laughingstock

- [redacted]

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also kinda inspired by the whole "person w the brightest smile might be struggling on the inside" or even the friend that's always there for others may need someone to be there for them too sometimes

don't be like redacted's ex-friends 🤡 👍

who knows, i may write a happy pt 2, but writing sad poems is easier than happy idk y