toxic.

you guys are all toxic.

all of your words slowly tear me down.

you say, "can't you take a joke?"

it's not a joke when you are actually serious.

i tell you that i may have anxiety and you laugh.

you say i can't do anything right,

and when it actually is right, i am in the wrong?

you guys gaslight me all the time and make me feel stupid,

and all you want to talk about is school and my future.

with all my forced laughter, and broken smiles,

i hide my pain.

because i'm the strong one right?

the one with no problems in their life.

i always listen to you and your problems,

but when it comes to me, it's not that serious.

i stay up at 3,4, and even 5am knowing that one of you

will be calling to cry about your problems.

i feel obligated to love you guys, but do you even think about me?

i don't deserve this. i should be worth more than this right?

i feel lost all the time, with no one to turn to.

you guys say that i should talk to you when i'm feeling down,

but how can i?

you're not really listening, you're just waiting for your turn to speak again.

so yeah,

you guys are

toxic.

</3

-a.

[i just want to say that having toxic family members and friends is honestly one of the hardest things to have to deal with. it's not like i can leave them right now, so i feel stuck. also, this might be all over the place because i didn't really plan it out. anyways, if you guys ever need someone to talk to, my private messages are always open. i may not be able to relate, but i would love to help in any way that i can :]