My mind is filled

Filled with thoughts of YOU

YOU keep me awake at night

I find your name often swimming around my head

I always have the urge to talk to you

But I chicken out at the last moment

My imaginations are filled with planning my "life" with you

But I don't think it will ever happen

My mind is also filled with fear

Fear of getting COVID as I am now at work

Fear of not being able to stay on top of my schoolwork

Fear of not being able to get stories out to you

My mind is filled with questions as well

Questions of why it matters to me so much that I'm not getting the feedback I had hoped for

Questions of what it will look like when the kids come back to class

Questions of what the future will look like

My mind is always filled

No matter how hard I try to clear it

It's always so stuffy with thoughts and emotions

And I don't know how to clear it

Will it ever stop being so stuffy?