agape love
I felt something strange,
A numbing, aching pain in me
That i was only beginning to see.
I saw a man on a tree
Dying, his eyes were locked on mine,
Showing a painful anguish,
But filled with a love I didn't understand.
I knew I had failed him.
I was a wretched, selfish fool
And darkness had tainted me.
I turned my blackened face away
But felt his hand on my shoulder.
A feeling of shame ripped through me.
How could he bear to touch me now?
When I faced him, I was blinded,
His pure light was brighter than the sun.
He spoke and I could feel the darkness
Writhing inside of me in agony.
I should have run to him.
Instead, I panicked, fled with the darkness.
The light was too pure, I was too dark,
Too far from love I thought
Tears of sorrow fell from my shaded eyes
As I kept my eyes away from him,
Avoided him in fear and shame.
Still, I could feel him behind me.
If I listened, his voice would be there
Quietly calling to me.
I fled farther, driven to depths of despair.
Choked by utter darkness
Trapped in a malicious world of evil
I finally cried out, my silent agony broken.
I pleaded for someone, anyone!
But deep inside, in my fearful heart,
I believed that no one would care,
No one would come.
Then I looked up and saw him,
Bathed in that light.
He was reaching out to me,
And my own hands strained towards him.
The darkness was fleeing, but I stopped,
Hesitated, For my hands were dirty.
But he smiled and took me up,
Lifted me from the pit,
And chased the evils away from me
I had deserted this man,
This light that had found me again.
"Why," I asked hesitantly,
"did you save me? I left you."
He smiled a gentle, tender smile.
"Because, my dear child,
You finally called on my name."
Still I pressed for an answer,
Some answer that would make sense.
"But how could you hear me?
I was so lost, so far away and alone."
A soft sorrow filled his eyes,
Sadness that penetrated my heart.
"I've always been here,
Watching, waiting for your heart.
You never saw me because
You didn't want to."
It hit me then, how much I'd hurt him.
Anguish filled me and I fell to the ground,
Unable to bear the weight
Of how much pain I'd caused him.
Stooping down, he picked me up,
And then he said the words
I longed to, but didn't deserve, to hear.
"I love you, and I forgive you,
My precious, beautiful child."
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