I sit here
Dragging a blade
Across my skin
Trying to escape
The dead thing
That's holding me down

I can't stay here
I can't hold on any longer
I pushed myself
I pushed hard
But I didn't pull through
I think I lost my fight

I'll be missing out
I know
They won't miss me
It hurts so much
To have to leave
But I have to get going

"You've come this far
You're all cleaned up
You made a mess again"
~Missing You by All Time Low
The music playing in the background
That's all I ever was

The melody
It might seem happy
But the lyrics inside
May not be
And that describes me
Perfectly

Always on the sidelines
Instead of the field
Always in the limelight
Instead of the spotlight
The Music in the Background
Should still be listened to

My mind is racing
"Should I cut this skin?"
I know the answer is no
But I do it anyway
It takes away my mental pain
And gives another type

Now that I've quit
I'm looking back
Wondering why
Through all the blood
And tears shed
Why was I causing more harm?

It's a ridiculous thing
To hurt yourself to feel better
Is it reverse psychology?
I think not
So why do we do it?
I don't know

But please don't worry
You're perfect little mind
It will get better
No matter what the situation
You're not just
The Music In The Background

~Ana xx