Today, was harsh on me

Feeling like the world has stop

Working

I didn't see you in class

I got

Worried

Knowing the

Darkness

that consumes you 

I ignored everyone else, my thoughts drifting back to

You

The one I am so enamored for 

Every subtle touch

Every soften glance

Your blue eyes

Which reminds me of tidal waves

Your delicate pale skin

Seems soft and makes me want to caress

Your cheek

I always seen how your blue eyes seem so

Pained

That always reminds me of the storm within you

I want to take that pain away

Be the one for you 

The silent war within you

It breaks my heart

Even so

My heart skips a beat for you

Only for you

The shadows whisper

And time pulls us through

I see how you walk a path that

Where light has failed to be seen

As how your soul is broken

I'm eager to repair

As you are in the wreckage of your pain 

I stand here, longing for you

I can't take it anymore

Seeing you missing from class

I make it my mind

To screw school

Your more

Important

Then education

I ran through the halls

The feeling of

Unease

In the pit of my stomach 

It's a

Torturous

Feeling

I hope I get there in time

I thought to myself

I look at the location of Jeiku's phone tracker

I had this feeling that he would try and commit

I was thankful by the time when I arrived

He was almost out of reach

Almost

It's Way too close to comfort

There he was at the edge of the building 

He was about to jump off

the ledge

I screamed

"NO!"

Running towards him

Grabbing his wrist

Pulling him back

Away from the edge

Just to see your eyes again

I see the inner turmoil

The slight shock of getting pulled away from ledge

I didn't let go when you tried

I couldn't lose you

Not when I was the only one

Who saw the person you could be

Jeiku...

Let me in baby

I didn't want to let you slip away

I held tighter as you tried and tried

Even if you couldn't see why I wouldn't let you fall

"let me die Tae....pls"

I heard jeiku sob those words out loud to me

My grip went tighter on him

I know how you speak of death as an escape

You always speak of death like an escape

As its kind

A place of

freedom

Aswell

Peace

"Please ... jei"

I say with intense emotion

My inner emotions are mixed with

Relief

Hope

Anger 

Lastly my deepest emotion for him, was

Love

All I saw right now

on how he tried to kill himself

Was a life still worth living

I stayed.

Why?

Because I couldn't let your light go out

You're the one,

I dearly love

I saved you from yourself jeiku

But... 

You'll never know how much I was saving a piece of me, too

Baby I love you

Can't you see?

In that moment

I didn't just pull you back

I pulled us both back from the

Darkness

Even if you don't know how close we are

You fought to leave

While I fought harder

To make sure you stayed

Knowing ill never forgive myself if I let you 

Slipped

Away

You mean the

World

To me baby

I'm going to bring you peace jeiku

I brought jeiku closer to a tight embrace

The silence between us is thick

Almost

Suffocating

But it's not uncomfortable

It's the kind of silence that fills the space with everything 

Every little word that's stuck in our throats

We're too afraid to speak

I slowly bring jeiku to the ground

Making us sit near each other

His back pressed against my chest

I watch the slow rise and fall of his chest

His pale skin

Seems fragile

Jeiku hasn't spoken since what almost happened

I didn't need to say a thing to my beloved

We both know what almost happened

The weight was towering over us

The sharpness of this moment hanging in the air

I investigate jeiku's blue eyes

Noticing how distant and clouded

With things that he can't say

Or was it?

That he didn't know how to express?

Or convey them?

I shift closer

Slowly

Carefully

I let my hand hover over just above's his

A silent plea

I would expect him to push me away

Like always

But now

It's different

I whisper into jeikus ear

"I didn't let you fall"

My confession was hard to give

I'm trying to admit the truth to myself more than him

"I-I ... couldn't, not when I....not when I-.."

My throat tightens

What do I say?

How do I explain my love for jeiku?

The pain that's' so strong it hurts

Yet

It's the only thing that makes sense

In a world that feels broken?

I noticed him shift slightly

I noticed how his gaze flicker for the briefest moment

He doesnt look at me

I could sense it

The way his gaze is unfocused

Lost somewhere far away

As if he's looking at a world

One that I'll never reach

I reach out and rest my hand on top of his

It's simple yes

I look into his blue eyes

I'm already declaring a promise in my thoughts

"You don't have to do this alone"

I look at jeiku, with softness

"I'm here...jei... always... I'm not going anywhere"

I say to him, while caressing his cheek

For a while, there's no response

The silence is deafening

My eyes scan jei's body

For any signs of something

I didn't know what I was looking for

I then feel

A small pressure against my palm

I look and notice his finger's against my palm

I smiled softly

Its a small quiet acknowledgement

That something between us has finally

Shifted

At this very moment

I knew I'll wait

I will wait through his darkness 

Through his pain

I don't care how distant or broken jeiku feels

I'm sure of one thing

I love him

I love him even if he doesn't

Or want to

I have my hand still resting on Jeiku's

Maybe for a bit longer

I feel grounded in the quiet stillness of the roof

My pulse is a frantic drum beat

In my chest

I'm trying to hold steady

I watch how jeiku continues to be unresponsive

His gaze distant

I could tell that he's

Deep

In his thoughts

I keep waiting

My gaze subconsciously goes to Jeiku's lips

I feel the weight of the moment

I did just save jei from the darkness

I love him so much it hurts

I couldn't help it anymore

I lean in slowly

My breathing shallow and shaky

I know this is a risky move

I know how this could ruin everything

I'm willing to

Jeopardize everything I've worked for to stay close

To just be near him

At this moment

I noticed how jeiku look so vulnerable

My heart was clenching at the sight

This step feels like its the only thing left to do

Jeiku doesn't pull away from the kiss

The kiss is soft

Tentative

Both of us are waiting for something to shift

I wanted something

Permission?

Perhaps a sign that we were not making a mistake?

I pressed my lips gently against his

In a heartbeat

Everything else disappears

Just the feeling of each other's lips

Was enough

The weight of the world

The pain

The uncertainty

It all disappears

It's just the two of us

A fragile moment

Nothing else matters anymore

When I finally pull back

Our foreheads touching against each other

Our breathes mingling between us

My heart is pounding in my chest

Each beat louder than the sound of the percussion of a drum

I noticed how jeiku's eyers were widen

There's something in his eyes

Something shifting in the dark depths of his gaze

Was it confusion?

Oh yes it is...

Not just that though

I see a crack in the wall that jeiku

Built around himself

I swallow hard

My voice barely a whisper

"I've loved you for so long...jeiku...I-I"

I struggled to say

"I couldn't keep it inside anymore"

I watched Jeiku blinked

I could tell he's processing my words

My lips tremble

For a moment

I fear that I made a grave mistake

I notice how jeiku's eyes soften

The slightest hint of realization dawning on his face

"I-"

He speaks

His voice so raw and unsure

I so how he struggled

His hands clenching against the soft fabric of my shirt

I know that it feels like a soft blanket

For the first time in what felt like an eternity

I noticed how jeiku look at me

To finally look at me

I watch how his expression shifts

The coldness breaking into something more vulnerable

I watch him swallow hard

How his eyes flicking between my lips and my eyes

A mixture of awe and hesitation

After a few moments

The truth finally came out like a tidal wave hitting jeiku

I watch as his voice breaks the silence

"I didn't ..i didn't know"

My breath catches in my throat

"didn't know what?"

I asked hesitantly

I watched him lean in

Slightly

Making our foreheads brush

"that...I felt the same way"

I watched for the first time

The darkness in jeiku's eyes

Isn't the kind that shuts everyone out

There's something softer now

Something real

Something that I always knew

That lied beneath there

I didn't think I'll get to see it

In a blink of an eye

Everything changes

My heart swells with affection

Relief washing over me as then

Jeiku's lips finds its way to mine

This time with less hesitation

It's not just a kiss anymore

Its the beginning of something new

Something we both been too afraid to admit

I feel jeiku's arm wrap around my waist

Pulling me closer

The kiss deepened

For the first time in a long while

Jeiku seems to breathe freely

I heard him whispered my name

"tae...I love you"

He says with so much emotion

We found each other

Now we both have something to hold on to

I know this wont be easy

I know jeiku's past is lingering like a shadow 

Between us

But for now

This kiss

Tells me that we can work through it

Together

You tried to escape

But i wouldn't let you go baby

Through the pain

Through the darkness

Together we grow

Now, every day is a triumph

Every breathe is a song

In this life

In this love

We forever belong