The Same
By vallwrites

~

What more do I have to do to prove that I have changed?
What more do I have to do to prove that I'm not the same person I was all those years ago?
I'm not the person I was yesterday,
let alone the person I was as a young teenager.
My behaviour was shaped around the relationships I grew up with,
they taught me that their behaviours were normal,
so I became them.
No one tried to steer me away from those bad behaviours,
no one tried to save me from the deep water that was soaking me up and drowning me.
They judged,
but never helped.
I had to get myself out of that situation,
had to teach myself how to be a good person,
because no one else ever taught me.
I changed,
even though I continued to grow with toxicity around me,
trying to pull me back in.
I fought against it with all the power I had left it me,
let it almost destroy me.
But still,
they do not give me the benefit of the doubt,
because I'll always be that troublesome fifteen-year-old,
with no one to guide her and teach her the correct ways of living.
In their eyes,
that's all I'll ever be.
They won't allow me change.
No matter how hard I try,
I'll always be the same.
That's what they tell me.

16.08.2022