Naive
By Vallwrites

~

When I was five,
the world looked like an explosion of colours,
almost as bright as a rainbow.
It was beautiful,
and I thought I would live, forever.
I thought I had nothing but time.
When I was ten,
I planned to become a teacher,
a chef,
a horse rider,
a hairdresser,
an actress.
I believed I could become all of those things,
because no one ever told me
that I couldn't.
They fed me false hope.
When I was twelve,
the colour I once saw in the world
began to dim.
Things started to sink in
and I was beginning
to grow up.
When I was fifteen,
I lost sight of who I once was
and all the things I had dreamed of.
I planned to become a teacher,
and only a teacher,
because I didn't know what else I wanted.
Still,
I thought I was unstoppable.
Still,
I thought I had so much time.
When I was eighteen,
it all hit me at once.
Eighteen years had flown by
in a blink of an eye.
I started to realise
that I wouldn't live forever,
and that
I was getting older.
The world was no longer colourful.
It was no longer beautiful.
It was grey
and scary.
It was such a terrifying place,
because of the people in it.
The people who had hurt me along the way,
destroyed my innocence,
destroyed the person I once was,
destroyed my soul.
That's the thing about growing up,
we start to realise the truth,
we get hurt everyday,
so slowly
to the point where
we're unfixable
and unable to get that version of ourselves back.
The happier version.
The naive version.

29.08.2022