I miss having friends
I miss having someone to talk to
24/7 who will listen for hours

I miss wishing I wasn't so lonely without
Actually being alone

I miss being teased and hurt and degraded
And pretending that I couldn't care

I miss sneaking food at 7am
While my friends were asleep
Because when they're awake
I can't eat what I like

I miss storming out crying
Because I couldn't bear any more
And then texting the next day
And saying 'I'm sorry'
And asking to hang out some more

I miss your angry outbursts
That made me feel small
Stupid and weak
And like I had no feelings
But then you'd come back
Comfort me while I'm crying
But then do it all again

I miss you venting 24/7
About your family and how they don't care

And I miss bottling up my problems for yours
And acting like they weren't even there

But as much as I wish it
I really do miss you
And all my problems you caused

Because I've learned for so long
You're the only one who 'cared'
And now
I'm left on my own
Feeling so small and so scared