i don't know
why i'm here
or what my purpose is
i'm alone
with all these thoughts
i wish weren't
i have depression
and anxiety
i'm self conscious
and have trust issues
there's times
where I feel completely numb
or there's just waves
of emotion
i want
to scream
to cry
to leave
to disappear
i want to be alone
but at the same time
i feel so lonely
i'm terrified
that the people I have left
will eventually leave
i'm the shy quiet one
the one that fades
into the background
the one no one will notice
that disappeared
how am i supposed to say
what goes on in my mind
when i spent so long
trying to keep it inside
i can't go to someone
and say help me
without every bad thing
flashing in my mind
like an old silent film
every breakdown
every relapse
every cut
every thought
every little thing
that leads to
more bad thoughts
more relapses
and more breakdowns
i'm scarred and broken
i know i should get help
but i don't want
people to know what happens
in my mind
to myself
when i'm
alone