she is known as a shy quiet person
so she seemed innocent
but no one knew what goes through her mind
the thoughts
the thoughts are the worst
she doesnt listen to them
she doesnt want anyone to get hurt
but the thoughts still wont go away
people see her wearing sweatshirts
or sweaters
or anything with long sleaves
no matter the weather
she doesnt want to explain
she doesnt want to tell
what the thoughts make her do
the thoughts
the thoughts will always be the worst
people
they get hurt in these thoughts
they can also end up dead
she tries not to think these thoughts
but no matter what
the thoughts wont go away
if you ever see her arms
when theyre uncovered
you can count
all the scars
from all the
fights with family
from all the
body expectations she doesnt have
from all the
times shes felt lonely
from all the
bullies no one knew about
from all the
thoughts
the horrible horrible thoughts
the ones
that make her
hate herself so much
that makes her
believe that no one loves her
so everytime
she wakes up or goes to sleep
she lists
the things
she hates about herself
the things
she does wrong
the things
she couldve done better at
the things
everyone can do
but she cant
everytime she wakes up
she wants to
go back to sleep
and never wake up
everytime she goes to sleep
she can only count
the reasons to stay awake
makeup is a great thing
she uses it to hide
the dark circles under her eyes
the scars on her wrists
the bruises and burns on her body
caused by her mother every day
after her father left
after he said he didn't want children
so she was left an only child
being raised by
an abusive mother
because of her father
but everyday
she has to wake up
and leave her dreams behind
to only face the harsh reality
to go to school
as if she didnt
receive any bruises or burns
as if she got
a full nights sleep
as if she didnt create
anymore scars
on her arms
she will walk through
the dreaded school doors
with a smile on her face
and remain
known as the shy quiet girl
that she seemed
innocent
like she had
a perfect life
that anyone
would do anything
to trade their life
with hers
only to find out
her life isnt
as perfect
as anyone
had thought