Gunned a boy down yesterday.... didn't give me the

same feelings the games do. He didn't re-spawn

nor did he come back too. i feel like im dreaming

because i woke up the next day and still had

the gun too. If i focus i can get out of this. If I focus i

might not go to hell right now. We had a pact

and he broke it, ends result i'm here right now..... Its not my

fault, this is war and I'm wared in caged in

from the outside. If I saved him then id die. So its...

pick or choose or wake up the next day

drinking juice or sleeping in a casket while that bed

goes cold as it waits for my return.... I HAD

TO DO IT! BLAME ME ALL YOU WANT, HES MAMA?

SHE CAN GO AHEAD AND CRY...

In the end of the day her tears wouldn't make what

her son did better or OK I wont let my body

replace his with mine.....

Let me start from the beginning- beginning. We had

a argument none of it made sense nor did we

know what we meant. I may or may not have been

correct . He may or may not have been possessed.

He raised his voice stabilizing with mine. He reached

in his back pocket as did I. before we even

new we both realized our guns were drown too. One

of us was about to expire. And our

expiration date just came through. now it ain't funny

it wasn't a showdown. nor did

we stop and laugh it off. these were real guns that

were heavy too. cold metal that was

warmed up from our skins and mine slightly hotter

since I shot the fool robbed him and his kins of a

future. Took his shoes to make it look like a robbery.

Evidence tampered with yeah thats my philosophy.

This is the streets......where welfare doesn't make you

fare better. where section 8 rolls the ball

and decides your fate, they decide worse or for

better its not up to fate. where smoking weed hasn't

changed but

increased and been legalized here in the golden

state. Were the worst fears stem from being

broke or you parents kicking you out. I did what i

had to do, yeah im reaching back in my pocket

yeah im talking to you. do we have a problem here........fool?

~May~