C H A P T E R   1 1

The night was fairly over. Pierre's family members were going out of the door in clumps after the last of the sun went down.

I was exhausted. Mentally, and physically. My throat hurt from talking so much, and my heart hurt every time I glanced at my dad. Even though I had excepted the fact that my dad was a complete dick and had no emotions towards me, it still ached every time I saw his face.

I was also having a little trouble deciphering how I was feeling towards Pierre at the moment. Gratitude maybe? Because every time I looked him, I felt better. And then I felt worse after I realized I felt better.

The cool air from outside was sweeping into the vast house, giving me goosebumps. I rubbed my arms with my hands.

The last of the guests were piling through the wide door when I realized something. Someone was standing by the door next to Pierre, stationary. After further speculation, I jolted in surprise.

My father was pleading with Pierre about something. Pierre looked pretty adamant in his decision, even though I could see now that my dad's face was turning stricken.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was padding across the marble floor towards the two most confusing people in my life, at the moment. I tapped Pierre's shoulder.

"Remi!" Pierre and my dad said at the same time.

My dad turned towards Pierre again. "Please, just one word with her. Then I'll be on my way."

Pierre glanced in my direction, and it dawned on me that my dad was talking about me. He wanted to speak, to me.

Pierre turned back and gave a stiff nod. "Only once. Then you're leaving."

My dad vigorously nodded, and Pierre strutted away. I gulped, feeling unnervingly anxious, and simultaneously annoyed about the fact that I was anxious when I was suppose to be angry.

"What do you want?" I interrupted my dad's staring, which was starting to freak me out. He snapped out of his daze, and just like at the start of the party, his eyes flooded with guilt and fear.

"I'm so sorry Remi," He whispered, his voice cracking. "I hurt you. And I realize it now because I was too drunk to realize it before, and I'm so sorry."

I almost fell back in surprise. Against my wishes, a lump formed in my throat. I had held my tears in check for 15 years. And the moment he gave a lousy apology, I was already crying.

"You think that after all those years you left me on my own-" I paused to collect myself, "I'll forgive you after one apology? You pretended that I didn't exist this evening, for god sake!" Without my knowledge, my voice had involuntarily escalated to a yell. My words were heavy with unwanted grief and burning anger.

"I was ashamed!" My father broke, tears falling down his face. "I don't deserve to be your father, and, and I'm so so sorry." My dad paused, looking hopeful. "But I'm going to change myself. I'm going to AA, and I quit smoking. I-"

"I got a fresh start because of you, and, and I'm not going to let you down."

A tear rolled down my face.

"I'm going to be your father again."

Then, without any warning, my dad walked towards me and engulfed me in a hug. Now, I know that my father was stupid. Stupid and drunk. But before the divorce, he was a good dad. I knew when he was lying and when he wasn't. And at that moment, I could almost see and feel the sincerity dripping from his eyes. "I hope one day you'll forgive me."

Doubt twisted my insides. "I-I have to think about it," I said, trying to keep my voice void of emotion.

"I love you Rem."

I nodded briskly. My face was impassive. My brain was a trainwreck.

"I," I paused, still feeling doubtful but ultimately dismissing it, "My wedding is coming up next week. And, I, maybe you should, um, think about coming."

I cringed.

"You know, as a start."

My dad's eyes lit up.

"My fresh start."

Before I could say anything, my dad pulled me in his comforting arms again. I rested my chin on his shoulder, smelling him.

For the first time, he didn't smell like beer. 

He smelled like fresh mint.

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NOTE: Hey guys. So I've literally gone on 20 breaks and I'm so annoyed with myself.