James: *drunk* Remus... Sirius told me a secret and I can't keep it to myself any longer, but you can't tell him that I told you
Remus: ...ok?
James: Sirius has a crush on you
Remus: ...
Remus: when did he tell you that?
James: *counting on his fingers* eight years ago
Remus: *continuing petting Sirius's hair, who drunkenly fall asleep in his lap, and who he's been married to for over six years* I promise, I won't tell a soul

...