Is that...Jesus? It's Jesus, isn't it?

It was common for me to completely zone out in a school setting, but how I had missed spotting such a stunning individual really threw me for a loop. Dark skin, chocolatey brown hair, and dazzling eyes...and it was all directly in front of me.

"Hello? Did you perhaps miss what I said?" The man hummed, still smiling as I shook myself out of a stupor.
"U..uh, yeah, I seriously zoned out there, my bad. Are you Jesus?" Instead of mentally slapping myself, I did it for real, likely freaking the absolute stunner out.

"No, I'm afraid not. My name is Simeon, I'm an exchange student also, from the Celestial Realm. You are the human exchange student, correct?" Wow, even his voice was angelic. Starry eyed and not even attempting to be subtle, I nodded almost violently.
"Yep! That's me! Wow, so, is that like heaven? Do you guys have halos? Oh crap, I've sinned a lot, you probably already hate me!" Blabbering on, the literal angel just chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

"Please, no need to stress yourself. I am merely a fellow student, and this here is my companion, Luke, who is also on exchange with me." He gestured to his side, and I barely even noticed the short, blond-haired child standing there looking pouty.

"Nice to meet y'all. I'm (Y/N), resident human freak of the Devildom." I offered my hand for a shake, silently cursing the day I was born, but all of that turned to static when the angel turned my hand and pecked a featherlight kiss to my knuckles.

Alexa, play Lips of An Angel by Hinder..!

"Careful, Simeon. I've seen her hanging around the brothers..." Luke snipped, puffing out his tiny chest, as if it would somehow threaten me. Honestly, the only thing on my mind whilst looking at him was how funny if would be to stick him into a Cupid cosplay.
"There's no need to be so hasty, Luke. The demons are good to us. This exchange program will help you open your eyes."

Simeon was seriously a vision. My brain was taking a thousand snapshots per second, and I wasn't even ashamed of it. I could appreciate beauty.
"They aren't so bad. They like my cooking, and they let me co...They help me with my homework..."

Yeah, better not confess about the cheating thing...

Still holding his smile, Simeon pulled out his DDD, which had an adorable bunny rabbit charm dangling from the case.
"I actually approached you because I would like to invite you to a camping trip I am attempting to organise with Lord Diavolo. I intend to invite human, demon and angel alike, to get to know one another. Would you like to join us, (Y/N)?"

Now, I had always been fond of camping, but something about camping in this world made it seem that much more exciting. Nearly flipping my desk as I jumped up, I whipped my own DDD out and jumped on the spot.
"Absoposilutely! I love camping! I make wicked good smores and even got chased by a bear once!"

As we exchanged numbers, Luke scoffed, rolling his eyes at my statement.
"A bear? I find that hard to believe." Blowing a small raspberry, I shrugged him off, just happy to have gotten the handsome angel's digits.
"Well, not so much a bear as it was a hoard of feral raccoons, but the threat was about equal." I confessed, flashing them a bright grin. "Anyway, I look forward to it! Be sure to keep me posted!"

Returning my smile, Simeon gave me a charming bow, and I swore he was glowing.
"I am pleased to hear it. I shall, as you say, keep you posted! I will see you later, (Y/N). It was a pleasure meeting you." I was sad to see him go, but man, did I love watching him leave. However, Luke remained, and it looked like he had something he wanted to say.

"Don't trust demons." Ah, there it was. Did he try to make his voice go deep? If reallt didn't work for him.
"Pardon?" Blinking, I considered crouching down to his level, not that he was all that much shorter than me, but I decided that would have been rude.

"I said don't trust demons. They're evil creatures, and you'll end up getting hurt. Don't trust them." He repeated, seriousness oozing from his expression.
"Thanks for the advice, but I'm fine with whatever happens. I'm here for a reason, so if that reason is to be eaten or something, cool beans."

My response seemed to startle him, but before he could respond, his face screwed up, and I felt a presence behind me.
"Oh, somebody lost their Chihuahua." Mammon's voice was condescending, and I watched the small angel tense up, baring his teeth, which didn't help his oncoming point.

"I am not a Chihuahua! Stop comparing me to a dog!" He barked,  foot stomping down onto the ground. Mammon puffed out a snort, and honestly, I was finding it almost impossible not to laugh.
"Yeah, okay, run along little doggy." Offended, and adorably so, Luke stuck his nose into the air and stormed off, but not before giving me a polite nod. Once he was gone, I let out the hideous wheeze I had been holding in.

"Beverly Hills Chihuahua!" I kind of leaned against Mammon, who knocked me back immediately, brushing a hand through his hair.
"Could you have been any more obvious? You were basically drooling over Simeon." Detecting a hint of jealousy, I bit my lip, knowing it would be useless to deny it.

"I mean, duh? He's an angel, of course I'd be drooling! Have you seen him?!" I thumbed over my shoulder, whistling low. "Pity he isn't into sinning, cuz whoo doggy, I'd let him knot me into a pretzel!" Physically gagging, Mammon wasn't shy in voicing his disgust, though his shoulder became hunched, and he avoided my eyes completely.

"Yeah, well, I used to be an angel...Just saying..." Pausing, I took a long, hard look at him, even tilting my head to get a different angle.
"Nah, I don't see it." Now it was his turn to be offended, but the bell saved me from the brunt of his oncoming tantrum. Grabbing my bag, I gave the demon a chummy punch to the shoulder and skittered off. "Seeya later, man. No hard feelings, yeah?"

For the rest of the day, I focused on the hopes of a camping trip, even throughout my shift at the tailor, which ended up with me pricking my fingers more than usual. Lucifer picked me up this time, and it was a very boring walk home. That was until we entered the house.

There was a very weak noise coming from up the stairs to the fourth floor, but it was there alright. I could tell I hadn't been imagining it, because the voices in my head were much louder.
"Hey, Luci, did you hear that?" I asked curiously, taking a few steps towards the source.

Placing his hand on my shoulder, the ravonet pulled me back, and I didn't try to release myself.
"That's off limits. It's likely just a bat." He insisted, though I wasn't that dumb. Still, I chose to leave it be for the time being, shrugging both that and his hand off.
"Whatever. Hey, uh, I was curious about what you guys do for fun around here? I mean, it's not that I don't enjoy roaming the house like a restless spirit, but isn't there, I dunno, any clubs, or-"

"(Y/N), I've already explained this to you. Devildom is a dangerous place for humans. Those kinds of places especially." He was such a stick in the mud, but I kind of understood. He was only trying to do his duty and look out for me.
"I know, but, like, I'm bored, Luci. I miss sharing a cheap bottle of booze with other losers and having fun..."

That's it. I don't really miss anything else...

It was obvious I was starting to get on his nerves, but he remained composed, giving my head a quick pat.
"You may miss such trivial things, but think of this as a way to learn new ways to entertain yourself. Perhaps I could lend you some literature?" I did enjoy reading, so I nodded, though I was still bummed out about being cooped up.

"Sure, thanks, Luci-Caboosey." After I was told to never call him that again and sent on my way with his choice pick of fiction, I retired to my room, choosing the most awkwardly comfortable position on my bed so I could start reading.

'Upon Thy Knees - Tale of an Incubus'

Lucifer, you kinky little bastard...

It was safe to say I immediately became invested in the story. The plot itself was rather lame, but the smut was wild, to put it lightly. Demons really were feral.
"Oi. I'm bored. Entertain me, human." When Mammon burst into my room, I smacked myself in the face with the open book, whining and rubbing my nose as I sat up.

"Yes. Hello, Mammon. Please, come on in." I greeted sarcastically, keeping my finger wedged between the pages so I wouldn't lose my place. "Your choice of an interpretive dance or vivid story telling. Both will be sure to astound you." Rolling his eyes, he made himself at home and sat in my desk chair, scooting just close enough to my bed so he could put his feet up.

"Both sound boring, but I guess I'll go with the story telling. It better be action packed, otherwise I'm out." Snickering, I knew that one way or another somebody in the room would be entertained.

"Oh, trust me, it's packed with actions..." Clearing my throat, I began to read out loud in my clearest voice. "Her skin rippled with desire as the beast panted betwixt her thighs, her scent filling the room with pure heat. She wanted him. She needed him. Oh, to be held against the silken sheets and be ruined for any other!"

Somebody get me a leading role!

"Elizia, succumb to me, the beast ordered in the softest of whispers. Sustain me with your song of ecstasy, and I shall forever be called as yours! His tongue became rich with the sweetest moistu-"
"Woah woah woah, stop! What in the ever-loving fuck are you reading?!"

Mammon snatched the book from my hands as I erupted into a fit of cackles, rolling onto my side and clutching my stomach.
"Y..your brother leant it to me! Luci!" I explained, having to wipe tears from my eyes as he gawked over the next few pages.

"Bullshit...Lucifer reads this shit?!" Cheeks pink, but a smirk tugging the corners of his lips, he stopped at a page and shifted closer. "Hah! Listen to this! Elizia, my princess, your loins weep the sweetest of strawberry fields! What the fuck?!" We were both in hysterics now, and I was positive that anybody hearing would have thought we were tickling a cackle of hyenas to death.

We were so loud that neither of us heard the knock at my door, but it was too late once Lucifer entered, face paler than usual.
"It seems...that I made a mistake and borrowed you the wrong novel..." He coughed, wasting no time in snatching it from his brother's hands and tossing a different book beside me. "I have no idea how it made it's way into my collection...Have a good evening..."

He left with haste, but we didn't even take a moment to tease him about it. It took the longest time for us to calm down, because every time we'd share a glance we'd end up losing it again.
"O..oh man...Elizia must be one special bitch to have a strawberry coochie..." I giggled, completely out of breath.

At some point, Mammon had collapsed onto the bed beside me, and he stretched out, still releasing small chuckles as he too calmed down.
"Must've shoved the whole produce section up there, cuz that ain't natural." We laid there in silence for a while, and I felt happy. Mammon was finally seeming to warm up to me, and all it took was some corny word porn. Who would've thought.

"So, what do we do now? He stole our fun..." I asked, turning a little to look at him. Digging around in his pocket, he pulled out his DDD, glancing over to me with the wickedest of smirks.
"Wanna find it online and give Lucifer hell about it tomorrow?"

"You, sir, have a fantabulous mind."

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***Strawberry coochies forever.

Next Time: Bad Juju***