"Say what now..?" 

It was safe to say that I was incredibly confused. Had I huffed something I wasn't aware of? Ate a bad gas station sandwich? Had I been struck by a bus? Any of those options were likely, but somehow I knew the answer was far from them. 

"Our exchange program. Were you not paying attention just now, (Y/N)?" The redheaded man before me seemed somewhat amused, and I couldn't blame him. Surely I looked like a moron. 
"No...No, I was...I'm just...Demons? This is kinda farfetched…" Scratching my chin, I glanced around the room at several other faces, each staring at me, waiting. "You sure this isn't just some dramatized human trafficking shtick? I mean, don't you need written consent for these cultural exchange things?"

A dark haired man by his side stepped forward, arms folded across his chest as he glared down at me. 
"Please show some respect to Lord Diavolo. For the duration of this year, he shall be your ruler." Did this guy have a stick up his ass or something? Eyeing him off, I turned back to the supposed Lord, tilting my head to get a better look at him, as if it actually helped any. 

"Our rules and regulations differ from the human realm, so none of that applies here. It shall be a simple program, don't fret. All you are required to do is attend classes here in the Devildom Academy, and survive. After a year has passed, you shall present a paper on your experiences, then return to the human world." He had honestly lost me at classes, then when the word 'paper' popped up, I already started to walk away. 

"So, uh, thanks for the offer, your lordiness, but I'm not really one to willingly take to educational ventures, so if you could just show me the route back to the Hallmart parking lot you snatched me up from, that'd be fantastic." I was a bit uneasy, who wouldn't be in such a situation? There had still been no signs that this wasn't just a funky dream, though, so I wasn't terrified. I likely wouldn't have been even if I knew it was real, anyway. 

Before I could get very far, somebody blocked my path. This somebody had blond hair, layered to make it look alluringly fluffy, and a serious gaze. 
"To leave so abruptly would be rude, (Y/N). Besides, you don't really have a choice in the matter." Diavolo chuckled from behind me, and my frustrated groan echoed off the walls of the darkened room. 

"Ugh, fine!" Ignoring the man blocking my path, I spun on my heel and folded my arms to mimic the ravonet, who looked about ready to kick my ass. "So, you're Lord Diavolo, Lord of demon lording, huh? So, who are these other guys? Not to be rude, but I've seen a movie with a scene exactly like this. Five guys and one girl alone in a room...and I honestly don't think I'm flexible enough to cope with that in my current physical state." 

To the left of me, one of the men started to snicker, a hand over his mouth as we glanced to him. 
"I like this one!" He giggled, fixing his strawberry blond bangs. "She's got my kind of humour!" Kind of chuffed to get a compliment, I felt a little better about being held against my will in what looked go be an ancient dungeon. Just a little. 

"I may as well begin with introducing the council members who have joined us today. Asmodeus is the fifth eldest of the seven brothers who make up our academy's council. He is the avatar of lust, and from your previous comment, I believe you two shall get along just fine." Diavolo explained. Completely indifferent, I gave the guy a wave, then pointed to the next person beside him, who was wrist-deep in what looked to be a chip packet. 

"Beelzebub, sixth eldest, avatar of gluttony." The ravonet took over, glaring at the ginger through dark lashes. "Beel, you're getting crumbs all over the place." Mr. Glutton just kind of shrugged him off, foil scrunching around his hand as he dug deeper. 

Now I'm hungry. 

"Okay, so, basically the seven deadly sins, huh?" I thought out loud, rocking back and forth on my heels. "So, what? You wrath? You seem kinda cranky." Of course, my querie only made him more frustrated, but I was saved by the blond who had blocked my path. 
"That would be me, human. The name is Satan. Lucifer here embodies pride." Nodding along, I scanned my surroundings again, popping my lips a little too loudly. 
"Okay, so, where are the other two?" I thought my question was fair, but Diavolo just laughed at me from where he stood. 

"I am not one of the avatars. The others will be around, so don't worry, you'll be meeting them. Actually, we've unanimously decided that one of those who is not in attendance will be your guide." That kind of bummed me out, because I had been wanting to request the famished ginger. He seemed a lot more chill than the other three. 

"Yes, our brother, Mammon. He owes me quite a lot, so this shall be his way of repaying me." Lucifer announced, stepping forward and offering something to me. "This shall serve the same purpose your mobile phones did back in your world. We call them DDDs. I have taken the liberty of installing applications, such as class schedules, banking and accounts, as well as our contact information." 

These guys are giving me a phone...Are they just some whacked out rich guys who want a scrappy sugar baby? 

Deciding it would be best to not say that out loud, I accepted the device, giving it a quick look over before scanning through the contacts. 
"Thanks, I guess…" Lucifer was watching over my shoulder, and discomfort started to grow. Not because I was surrounded by literal demons, but because I just really needed to go to the bathroom. "So, uh, toilet? I'd really hate to leak all over your nice, clean marble floor, Mr. McLord, Sir." 

Unphased by my wording, Diavolo just smiled at me, motioning to the stoic ravonet.
"No, we wouldn't want that. Lucifer shall guide you. Afterwards, he shall take you to your dormitory and introduce you to Mammon. I hope to see you again very soon, (Y/N)." 

Giving a quick, two-fingered salute, I allowed Lucifer to place a hand on my back to guide me out of the room, walking awkwardly with my knees pressed together. 
"You certainly seem like an interesting human, though I do wish you'd speak with a little more decorum." He sighed, glancing down to me with raven eyes. 

"My bad, it's a habit. The ol' thinkeroony doesn't have anything on the speed of my mouth." I replied, doing a little dance when he stopped in front of a door. 
"I see. Okay, well, here is the bathroom. I shall wait for you here." Without skipping a beat, I dashed in and locked the door, nearly diving head first into the porcelain throne. 

Okay, so, I'm in the demon realm...and I have to live with a bunch of guy demons who could probably kill me by sneezing...I guess that beats my plans for the day. 

Relieving myself, then washing up, I skipped back out of the bathroom, shooting the avatar of pride a perky thumbs up. 
"Alright, bladder is good to go. Lead the way, Lucifer." We continued on for a while in silence, but that wasn't my style. I needed interaction to make it less awkward. "I had a friend back in elementary school who had a cat named Lucifer. He was an asshole." 

That seemed to take him aback, but he eventually quirked a smile, which made him seem a whole lot friendlier. 
"Well, cats are typically assholes, so that doesn't surprise me." He replied, slowing down so I could fall into step. 
"They called him Luci for short. Can I call you Luci? I mean, I kind of already decided that I will be, but it'd be cool if you were alright with it too." 

Reaching the outside, I noticed that it was night time. The streets were glowing in rich colours, mostly red, gold and purple, and it was quite honestly breathtaking. 
"You know, as oddly charming as your personality is to begin with, you really do need to be careful. A tongue like yours could get you killed around here." He warned, ushering me along with a hand on my back. 

"Sorry, I'm still kind of processing that this isn't some accidental acid trip or something. You guys nabbed me when I was tagging a wall, so I just kind of assumed I'd inhaled too much spray paint." I admitted, shoving my hands into my pockets. 
"So, you're a delinquent?" Lucifer asked curiously, making sure to guide me towards a long, gravel pathway towards some huge mansion. 

"A bit of a stereotype, but that pretty much sums it up." I shrugged, giving my companion another once over. "So, do demons eat people? Do I look like a meal to you?" Lucifer pushed open the large door, nudging me on inside before closing it behind him. 
"To me, you're more like fast food leftovers, but I'm sure to more classless demons you'd be considered a meal, yes." 

Chewing on my lip, I half-glared at him as he pulled out his own phone, or rather, DDD. 
"I'm not sure whether to be insulted, or agree that you have a point…" Lucifer smirked as he tapped something out, pocketing the device shortly after. 

"Mammon will hopefully be down shortly. While we wait, I shall explain some things. This is the House of Lamentation, where us brothers live. We have a room ready for you, and there is a fully stocked kitchen, a dining hall, library, and other assorted areas for leisure and study." Talk about a lavish lifestyle. I felt like a filthy stray standing in such a home. 

"So, I have to live with seven men. This either has sitcom or cold case written all over it…" I murmured, reaching out to trace my fingers along the carved frame of the door. 
"The former is the more likely of the two, as long as you're careful." Lucifer explained, glancing towards the stairwell as a loud thudding noise sounded out. "Don't go anywhere on your own, and for your own sake, don't trust any demon outside of us. Lord Diavolo would be quite bothered if anything happened to you."

Note to self, Diavolo is probably the only reason you're still alive. 

At the top of the stairs, a wispy mop of ivory appeared, sitting atop tanned skin, belonging to a man who was dressed the same as the other three demons from the meeting. 
"I already told you, I don't wanna babysit some dumb human!" He barked, stomping down the rest of the way until he stood before us, a hand on his hip. 

"Yes, but I responded by telling you that you don't have a choice, unless you'd rather pay back the two point four million grimm you owe me from the last credit card bill." As the demon I presumed to be Mammon scowled, I just stood there, plenty of questions on the tip of my tongue. Was I expected to pass classes? Was I the only exchange student? Was there a SFC nearby so I could get some chicken tenders? 

"This is her, huh?" I was brought back by Mammon jabbing his index finger in my direction, his white nails shining in the light. 
"Yes, this is (Y/N). All you need to do is make sure she remains safe and comfortable. Show her how things work around here. Simple enough, don't you agree?" 

Yeah, I kinda wanna go home now...The novelty of this experience is starting to fade… 

They bickered back and forth for a while, and I stepped back, waiting for them to shut up long enough for me to chime in. Before I had the chance, I felt a tap on my shoulder, turning to find the hungry ginger. 

"Want me to show you the kitchen while you're waiting?" 

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***Y'all wanted it, so here it is.
Not going to promise it'll get finished, but I'll try.

Mammon, Belphie and Beel have my soul, and I've only known them for three days.

Next Time: Local Cuisine***