Pls, I need your comments! Why aren't you guys being nice enough to atleast show some support? :(

Ma'arij:

I felt that his hands were roaming around my bare waist and I was so angry with him that I pretended I was asleep. But I couldn't anymore , the situation was getting out of hands and he was playing a naughty trick.

" What are you trying to do Mehmood? "

I finally broke the fast of not speaking to him except the casual yes and no(s). Turning my back to the other side, I took the risk of facing him.

' Exactly the stuff you're avoiding my darling Taahira '

" You're mistaken then Mr.Mehmood. I am avoiding YOU. "

We were fighting again, this time face to face lying down. Wow. What a perfect scene!

He didn't mind a tad bit of my tone or of my reaction towards him and so instead being the daredevil he pulled me more into him. Now we were almost touching each other's body, breathes synchronous and eyes diving into each other's entity.

" Please let me go. I'm ... "

' What ? No, infact why? Why should I let you go? It's been a long while you kept me waiting and now I can't wait anymore. I want you. All of you. I want you completely and I want you forever. Please keep the things of the past aside and for once look into my eyes with the same trust and love you had once for me. I don't know if you still love me or not, but... I want one chance pls? Don't you think a culprit deserves a chance if he really want to start over and renew himself all over again? '

He was looking into my eyes with truest form of sincerity of his words, I could feel the intensity warming me up and piercing in through my heart directly. I couldn't stay mad at him forever, when Allah can forgive us... Why can't we forgive anyone ?

But here the forgiveness was not for 'anyone' particular, but he was my husband , my life partner with whom I had to walk the remaining distance of my life.

' Taahira, I know it's very difficult for you to forget everything and pretend like nothing ever happened . I'm not asking you to forget, but I am requesting you to move on... By leaving it behind. '

" Okay. "

There was no point of worsening the argument further, when he had apologized several times with only purity of his intentions then who was I to not forgive him? You cannot love and hate someone at a same time, right? So that was my dilemma. I loved him deeply that my hate fell short in front of it.

He began to shuffle in his position for a while and then getting his back up to a sitting position started searching for something in the bedside drawer.

" Hey. What're you doing now? Let's go back to sleep. I miss being in your arms too. It's really a long while. "

' Wait. What's the hurry wifey? I've something for you. Come on,close your eyes being a good girl. '

He tied a handkerchief over my eyes and then made me sit by my hands resting on my lap,palm facing upside. I felt a paper placed on my hand and when I began to tighten my fist in order to have a better idea of what that was,he opened the blindfold and my enthusiasm took control over soon and there I saw a plain khaki envelope resting on my lap.

" What's this? "

' Wouldn't you like to see it for yourself darling ? '

He winked at me and directioned me to open the envelope. And I did so. There were two neatly folded tickets of Umrah and a joint trip to Turkey.

" OH MY GOD!!! Mehmood? Is this real? Are we going to our honeymoon ? No,no. This can't be true, you're playing some prank right? Who takes their wife on honeymoon to Umraah? "

I couldn't understand whether these feelings were petrifying me or making me happy. It was all so weird. Of course, I wanted to visit the house of Allah and let my soul have rekindled faith and enlightenment but...

' Stop your train of thoughts! Taahira, yes this is true . You're going to an umraah with me and then would be our mini sweet honeymoon phase, because after this week I'll have to go to Minnesota for some work. '

" But... Why would you leave me then? "

I couldn't stop being a drama girl and wanted him to pamper me and so I made an innocent face asking him not to leave me.

' Okay stop being clingy now. I'm not leaving right now Ma'arij for God's sake. Someone was saying that they were in a mood to cuddle eh? '

He began smirking and then came jumping towards me on the bed like a hungry lion towards his feast, lol, I had no other metaphor ... But his eyes were shining like that of a lion!

" Be humble towards your prey Mehmood. "

I didn't mean to say that exactly but I don't know how it spilled off my tongue, he was messing with my heart!

' Oh Taahira , you think I am hungry? Then let me tell you something ... '

He finished the remaining distance between us by pulling me into his embrace and holding my face into his warm hands, he kissed the top of my head and swirled the curls in his finger that were coming on my face and tucked it behind my ear and again kissed me at my cheek.

He bent towards my ear and with every approaching move of his crazy tingling sensation , I was getting mad and driven by shame and ecstasy .

' Yes I am very hungry. Hungry for savouring you, bit by bit, I know you're extremely delicious. But I want you to know one thing. Whatever I do, would not only be cause of my desires but also because you want it. And it will only happen if you are willing to participate as much as I want. I won't ever force you, because despite my needs Taahira, the truth is I love you. '

He was looking into my eyes with so much intensity I felt I would melt, but there wasn't any regret anymore. I had forgiven him, and honestly I felt much peace. Afterall some things are totally worth melting for!!

" And do you think I would resist you? If I am delicious, I think you're one kind of a hot freaking sizzling pizza. I won't hesitate or shy to bite into you "

The night was then filled with laughter containing pure bliss and contentment of hearts, two hearts which ached to unite, two hearts whom Allah had destined to meet. Not only their souls, but the beautiful crescent hung on the sky was also a witness for their union and love , who was shying away in the clouds at the scene unfolding of two lovers melting in each other's arms out of pure affection for each other.

Hunain:

Holding the broken pieces of my heart, I stood facing the qiblah... The night before my nikkah ceremony was to be held. It was not easy, infact not at all easy to forgive someone who is not at fault, to forget someone who was engraved in your mind, and to start a life with someone of whom you never dreamt of.

I was battling constantly with my inner voice that was tormenting me by reminding that I was the one who used to say " Allah will send her for me " , " I don't want to see anyone except the one Allah has chosen for me " and now here I was struggling to fight between my inner self and my weak heart, who had fallen for someone who could never be mine.

Droplets of freshly made wadhu trickled down my face to my beard and was wetting my shirt, I was standing still facing the qiblah hands raised to my ears, but there was no focus and attention so I was forced to drop my hands by my side and sit down on the prayer mat simply .

Unintentionally my heart whispered , " Why Allah, Why? " and the next moment I was regretting of why did I even help her out that day, why did I look at her direction, why couldn't I control my gaze? This was all because of shaitan! I couldn't focus on prayers, I needed Allah. I needed HIM to seek answers to my questions, I needed HIM to seek peace and patience to endure this all.

Tears were now mixed with the wadhu drops somewhat still wet on my face, and I could taste the salty water coming down my cheeks to my lips. I preferred bowing down in sujood and crying my heart out to HIM. If I couldn't pray, atleast I could talk to HIM, right?

" Ya Rabbul Alameen! You're my Master and I'm your slave, I know I'm your slave but... Why am I driven by the false master's command, my desires? *sobs* I... Didn't want to love anyone else except the one destined for me, Allah, you know I'm not lying. That day... That day when I saw her in that destructed state it felt as if I was sent there to be her savior, to protect her... But that was not the case. It was just merely a coincidence. * Sobs* Allah... It pains, it pains here in my heart, I cannot remove her beautiful face from my mind away that's not right when I'm going to get married to someone else, I'm going to have someone else's responsibility lying on my shoulder from tomorrow onwards, but...How should I deal with it? Are you listening to me Ya Samee?? You know what's in your servant's heart right? Can't you feel my pain? *Begans to cry louder* No, No, No . Allah. I.. I... I'm sorry. Please Allah, forgive me! Ya Ghaffaar! Forgive me! How can I blame you? How can I talk to you like this? How can I forget that You are my master , the owner of my life, It's upto You where you turn the road of my life. Allah. I.. Want to request you only, Can I do that? I know You're listening to me. You love me right? You love me very much right? Can I ask You, to make us meet in the bestest way possible ever? Will you listen to me if I say I don't want to get married to anyone else except her? I know I'm being selfish and instead of asking You, Your mercy begging for my forgiveness , I'm asking  You just a human! But she's not only a human for me, she... She means a lot to me. Allah, I love her. I am sorry Allah, but I love her. *tears flowing , blurring vision*  ... *pause* ....
Allah... Now I hand over to you my desires and my fate, I... I pledge to submit my desires to whatsoever You wish. I have not been a very good servant of Yours, but... *tears still flowing* I will try. I promise I'd . Do what You think is best for me. I feel ashamed to claim that I love You. But... I do... That's my eeman. Allah, I didn't like going a wrong way to confront her.. You know that Allah. Allah. Ya Muhaimin. I need peace , Let peace reside in my heart and let my heart find solace in finding You and finding the correct way to please You. Help my heart find a heart that will connect to mine, and be persistent and working towards earning Your love, Your mercies, Your pleasure, Your happiness . I will be pleased, to please You My Lord. Please, allow me to please You. And please, be pleased with me too. "

Men do not cry, but when they do, remember one thing : They're genuinely attached to the reason which made them cry.

Maybe she was not just any infatuation , she was my attachment. But now, I had promised Allah one thing that I will submit my will to His will, so I will just do sabr and keep reciting the zikr of my Allah. Surely, He is The all-knower, The Merciful , The compassionate . He will do what's best for me. I know. In sha Allah.