Khadijah:

Life certainly played unfair at times, but who were we to act culprits to it?

But as it is said that no matter even the whole world stands against you, demeans you or tries to strangle you , still there would be someone out there who would be willing to accept you & cherish you the way you're supposed to be. They will try occupying the void in your heart and soul, and would attempt at fixing your emptiness with their chunks of admiration & compassion and that person for me was Nadir's mom, whom I had started calling Mom too.

She was a lovely lady who always wished to see me smiling, she put her best efforts in giving me motherly care and support. And when she got to knew about my acceptance of Islam.. She welcomed me in her arms wholeheartedly ,didn't shame me and tried protecting my regular interests in worshipping.

One day she approached me saying that she also wanted to accept Islam, hearing that enlightened my mood and brought the glamour of happiness on my face.

We went to the local masjid and there , with assistance of Sarah she accepted Islam and became my spiritual mother . I couldn't thank Allah enough for sending a motherly figure in my life, whose place was lost but now... Alhamdulillah atleast now I had founded that.

We always hid our prayers and worshipping from rest of the family & she even had promised me that she would help me to escape from here as her son wouldn't accomplish to serve as my husband. He'd be a hindrance in my path of struggling to please Allah and striving to be a best muslimah.

Today again as usual I went to the mosque to take my deen classes, when I bumped into Sarah. I had been avoiding her unnecessarily too often.

" Assalam-U-Alaikum-Warahmatullahi-Wabarakatuhu . How are you Khadijah??? Are you trying to ignore me? "

She raised her hand forward for a musafha(shaking hands in islamic terms /it is a sunnah as well) and meanwhile kept her gaze on me curiously.

' Walaikum Assalam. No I wasn't avoiding you. I was just... Feeling off. Miss Johns accepted Islam. She has promised me that she will help me to escape the house, so that I can marry a man of deen. '

" Woahhh.. That's great Ma sha Allah. So, shall I take that as a YES for my brother. Ohhh since I've told him about you, he has been dreamy all while. Trust me he is totally mad. "

' What... Why did you... Uh. What did you tell him exactly Sarah? '

" I just told him that I've found his long lost wife. Simple. "

She was grinning ear to ear.

' I... I need some time to think. Pls. '

I said in a low voice. I didn't wanted to sound rude to her in any way, she had helped me a lot to learn more of my religion and was a great friend.

" And you know what!!! Hunain wants the marriage to be done next week only. He was saying that it's useless to delay the marriage without any purpose , and he wanted to go to Japan for getting a diploma in automobiles and also that he would be having a seminar to conduct there. I am feeling ecstatic . It's like God sent the perfect man for me at the perfect time! Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. "

She hugged me excitedly while sharing her 'ecstatic' feelings with me. Meanwhile my heart wept silently, no tears were flowing from my eyes. I couldn't cry.... It was as if a baby was handed with an attractive toy and then someone snatched that toy from the baby's hands and the baby was left to cry and wail about it... But the difference here was that I couldn't cry...

I pulled away from her, and holding her arms looking straight in her eyes I smiled as happily as I could and I tried to spill the fake trueness of the smile I drew on my lips.

' Aren't you gonna ask me to accompany you for shopping? '

I tried diverting my mind to something else, anything that would change my thoughts from thinking either that it was unrequited love which I was entangled in or that he had betrayed me. Because I had seen affection and emotions floating in his eyes too, for me.

" Of course you silly.That's what I had to discuss with you. Are you free today evening? We will just have a look around the shopping area and hunt for things we're looking for. "

' Okay In sha Allah. When I reach The Mall , I'll inform you. '

••••

3 hours into shopping and I had cursed my destiny like a million times . I couldn't hold the resentment and grief in my heart of loosing something even I was unaware of, that I had developed gradually with time.

Hunain was... Supposed to be mine.

That's when she pulled me to a jerk, I was brought back into the present.

" Earth to Khadijah! Where were you lost? I had been calling  your name like crazy... And here you're . "

She found me staring at the mirror wearing the fuschia rose dupatta over my head, which she asked me try on and I had been since then lost into oblivion .

' Ma sha Allah! That suits you perfectly. Why don't you take it? '

' Uh.. No.. I can't . I mean why should I take it, it's your wedding not mine. And you just asked me to try, so I did, now be a good girl go and try it for yourself . If that suits you then we will be finalizing this. No more discussions. You rummaged through nearly half of the mall and still you're saying, you can't find the perfect one??? '

I pushed her towards the changing room, handing her over the fuschia rose lehenga choli (an ethnic bridal wear worn by desi people) , and asked her to be quick. She handed me over her purse and other shopping bags and lazily closed the door of the room behind.

I was loosing my mind bit by bit after every second. Her phone began to ring, which didn't go unnoticed by me. The caller Id displayed was enough to make me frown.

Hunain..

I thought of answering the call and shouting profanities at him for leaving me like this in middle of nowhere when I had begun to pick feelings for him. Why the hell did he rescue me from Nadir, the first day we met? Why did he have to pull me towards himself when he actually just had to push me away? What was wrong with me, was I ugly? Did he not actually like me, he was just being sympathetic ? Thousands of questions, but I had answers to none of them.

Fighting with the urge to recieve the call or not, I slided the green icon and put the phone to my ear. My heartbeat was escalating , and I couldn't find words to start with.

" Assalam.o.Alaikum.Warahmatullahi.Wabarakatuhu. where have you been sarah? I messaged you 3 hrs ago that I'd be coming to pick you up for your shopping but... "

' Walaikum Assalam. Sarah is not here, she... '

I didn't see Sarah coming out of the changing room and so she got angry at me for picking her phone up... May be that was too unethical of me to get into someone else's phone and get into someone else's life.

' Sarah it's not like.. '

I tried explaining to her but she shoved me off by her hand gesture, and took the phone away from my hand and spoke to him.

" I'll talk to you later. "

I could see hurt in her eyes. Oh no, what had I done.

" And you. Let's go. "

She pointed finger at me, and took long steps away from me. I was feeling betrayed and as if someone had just slapped me right on my face. You deserved that.

My inner voice was shaming me too for being involved in something called 'love' with a wrong person... With someone who was never supposed to cross paths with mine.

' I'm sorry. I've hurt you a lot. I know. Pls forgive me and from now on you won't be seeing me ever. '

I left her behind without listening to her answer without looking behind and ran with all the energy my legs agreed to take me with and took a cab to my home. If destiny was playing cruel to me, I will be cruel to myself ten times more.

Now let's see who wins at life.

Me or my destiny.

Mehmood:

" It has been more than three days now since the argument is dragged on and she is not even talking to me properly. Honestly, I am fed up of this attitude of hers. She could've just forgiven me, that was of past right? I know... I ... I feel guilty.. And the guilt won't be ever leaving me, I am guilty in Allah's sight first of all and then in my own and then yours and Ma'arijs and ... of your wife... Look Saaleh... I am really sorry. Tell me. You tell me what should I do to make up to you people? How can it be undone? "

Saaleh had invited me for a meetup, as it had been more than a week we hadn't talked to each other nor met. It all became so weird after coming back to America that I enclosed myself in my own bubble. And that's where I got wrong. I should've pleaded, and worked hard to ask forgiveness from Ma'arij and Saaleh... And of course her.

He looked into my eyes assuring forgiveness and that like he was saying I was still a brother to him.

' Mehmood... You know when my wife left me, I thought I was the one who killed her. But then as time passed on Allah made me realize that it was HE who took her life. I am not saying this in a way of ingratitude or blaming Allah, NAUZUBILLAH , I am saying this because I realized whatever happens in our life is and will be by the will of Allah. Allah governs us. Do you understand what I'm saying? '

He pressed on the last question, in order for me to answer it but I wasn't understanding so I nodded my head in denial.

" What has all this to do with what I asked you. ? "

' Brother. Firstly. When you ask forgiveness from Allah for any sin be it minor or major(except shirk and hurting someone), May Allah forgive us all, have a strong believe that Allah will forgive you, shaitan will tell you otherwise always in order to misguide you and take you away from Allah's mercy. And here concerning you, that you hurted people, you will have to work hard to earn forgiveness . Allah forgives humans easily . But humans never forgive humans easily. So first ask forgiveness from Ma'arij ; try to make it out for her by simple loving gestures like take flowers for her , take her out and and make her feel special, cook something for her or try spending as much quality time with her as you can. Hey! Why don't you take her to Umraah? May be that way it'd be easy for you to gain her love back. '

" So how did you forgive me that easily brother... You know that I was involved with yo.."

' Because I love my wife for Allah's sake. I love her a lot really. Alhamdulillah. It's like I feel I got to live my days again. And when you love someone deeply, it's easy for you to forgive them. I have forgiven you, and I'm sure Durre Shehwar has forgiven you too. Don't keep a burden on your heart, I'll convey your message to her and take her answer on this. You just work at your marriage . These days can bring either the best of you both or can worsen your relationship to poisoning . Pls don't let it happen. Shaitaan loves to distance a husband and wife. Keep your man ego aside. Pamper her. Love her. A woman always needs love, and to please her and seek her forgiveness you must be extremely patient and polite. '

He winked at me and I just smiled, thinking how blessed I was that Allah had gifted me such a friend. Good friends are indeed a true blessing from Your Lord, who never disappoints to amaze us by His mercies and affection.

" In sha Allah brother. I'll take notes in my mind of what you said and try to be patient. Ahaha that's hard for me, but taking her to Umrah would be much easy. Let's see what happens by Allah's grace. "

' You're welcome. You're welcome. I know I'm a very good friend you're blessed with . Say Ma sha Allah. '

He was a good guy, he knew how to win at people and win at life. Really my life was blessed. But how can I accept this at his face? No.

" Did I thankyou for anything ? And Ma sha Allah for what? For my beautiful face? Yeah I know. Alhamdulillah. Never been arrogant for that. Uhm, you should say Ma sha Allah infact. May Allah protect me from evil eyes , ameen. "

He laughed at it shaking his head back and forth, and that's when we got to knew actually our food had turned cold.

All because of him. *Smirk*