Assalam.o.Alaikum and hello buddies!
I am back again, actually i felt too bad for you lovely people who supported this book atleast this far and it's really a lot for me.
As I had said, I was going through some bad times and so couldn't focus on writing but now I'm back. In sha Allah, I'll do the updates more often! :)
Pls vote and comment, but don't forget to pray on time!

Ma'arij:

It was my second day with him, and he had already booked the tickets so we were flying back to America alongwith his brother Dr.Saaleh. So that meant, Durre shehwar would be accompanying too! And I was more than happy for that , that atleast I won't be distanced from my sweet friend.

We had visited my parent's home and bid adieu to them , after a lot of tears and receiving blessings . We had our flight at 9:00 pm and before that Dr.Saaleh wanted to spend as much time as he could with his grandmother so now we were sitting in her home. Still 3 hours to go, I was in a room where Durre shehwar was also with me as both the boys ... I mean , men were with dadi(grandmother).

Durre shehwar was acting weird, as if she was hiding something from me. And I had noticed this since the day we were selecting our dresses online and I had mentioned about the anonymous pictures , though I had asked her many times but either she diverted the topic or just answered in indirect ways. Something was really not right.

" Why are you so distant from me Durre? What happened? Did I hurt you that day when I was just playing a prank with you? Or is it that you are bothered because of something else? For God's sake, pls answer! I can't see you like this, pls? ... Or did you have a fight with bhai on the first night ?"

I tried starting a conversation with her. But to no avail. Her face was dim, and her eyes were brimming with tears.I tried to make her look at me and smile atleast but she wasn't even moved a bit. I kept my hand on hers and made her face me by holding her chin up that's when she broke down.Her eyes seemed swollen with pain and that reflected on her face too. She was hesitating to say something.

' Ma'arij... Ma'arij I'm sorry, that day ... Those pictures... '

She started crying badly. I had to console rubbing my hands up and down her back and hug her sideways. I then took her head on my shoulder and urged her to continue.

After hiccuping , and managing her rugged breathes she started again. But I was getting pessimistic regarding whatever she was to tell me I felt that it was not something pleasant, I was feeling that it might have something to do with Mehmood,and our friendship . It might be something that would plant the bitter seeds of hatred and betrayal ... Or maybe even worse.

' I'm not beating around the bush, but I can't find words how to tell you. Uhh... Did he tell you anything ? '

Her eyes held the look of fear and worry.

" Who he ? "

' M.. Mehmood '

" He was trying to say something about his past. But I stopped him. I want to start afresh with him, that's why. But why are you asking this? "

' Because... Because he has to do something with what I'm going to confess. Ahh... Two years ago,puberty was just about to hit me and I was only thirteen. I found an online social site where you could talk to anyone around the world without revealing your identities and share your likes and dislikes. It was a kind of app related to mental health, you could share your thoughts and feelings with anyone whose profile seems compatible with your nature. I was tired and sick of facing constant psychological doubts, where my father played a pivotal role in destructing my self confidence and making me feel I'm a no one . He was always mad at me shouting incoherent words,degrading me that how ugly I was and how unsuccessful my life was... How much unimportant my existence was...
My grades were declining, my hopes were shattering and everyday I had to find a new excuse to push myself towards living. '

She paused for composing herself, it seemed that she was lost somewhere behind and all that she was letting out of her was creating a toxic air around which we were breathing. Till now, I had no idea of what she was to say that connected Mehmood with her confession but I just silently prayed that it had nothing to do with relationships ... the most fragile relationships of friendship and marriage. I guess... I should have had heard him last night.

' Well, I made my profile on that app and then started chatting with random strangers and trying to find the lost peace in the wrong place... I should have found it in Allah instead... All that would have had not happened... I.. Feel... So guilty.. '

She broke down once again and hid her face in her palms and started crying hysterically .
I assured her that she could continue.

' I met him then. He looked charming. I was attracted in an instant , I kept my feelings with myself but always took him as my first priority. I wouldn't even open my eyes properly in the morning and I thought of texting him a *hey* ... I waited like mad to get his reply and he took as much time as possible, well I endured it all. I was so fond of him that I got sad whenever he went offline. And whenever I saw the small tick indicating him to be online my happiness hormones would shoot up and ignoring everything else in the world I set all my attention in spending my time with him. '

Her lips looked parched, so she ran her tongue over them in order to moisten them and then I offered her a glass of water so that she could quench her thirst. After a while, we heard a knock on our door. We wore our respective forms of veils and then I opened the door partly , Mehmood was standing outside and looked straight through my eyes.

" It's getting late. We are leaving now. Let's go. "

He said and left.

Durre shehwar stood up from the bed raised her veil and asked me to come near her. She had spread her arms open for me to go amd hug her. I did as she wanted me to. I hugged her. And she kept on repeating sorry for God knows what.

' I will tell you soon. I can't keep hiding it for any longer. I hope you will not leave my side, I hope you would still be my friend after my confession . It's not confession infact, it's confinement . I'm confining in you, as I trust you enough that you have a big heart and you will still accept me... I will pray to Allah that May He keep our ties as stronger as they're now. I will pray that May He give you sabar and courage to accept... '

" ... Did you... Did you have a relationship with Mehmood in the past? In any way? A long distance relation? Just tell me in yes or no. "

I dreaded the answer but I needed to know and her answer was,

' Yes '

I removed my arms wrapped around her and began walking away from her, towards the door. We had to leave, and we were not leaving alone we were leaving behind a heaviness of spoiled relationships .

' Pls listen to me once. I... I am extremely apologetic Ma'arij... '

" I forgive you. "

' ... But how can you? Are you mad at me? ... You don't even know the complete truth, pls allow me... '

" Durre shehwar we're already late. Let's bury here what's of past. "

' It seemed all lovey dovey at that time I was knocked out of my senses. He came to Pakistan, we were to get married but ended up being physically intimate instead. That resulted in my pregnancy. I was too anxious for that, and asked him to marry me as soon as possible... But he refused... He said he can't marry me. He said he loved someone else. I... I got depressed... I had to hide that baby in my body from my parents, from everyone . When I couldn't fight anymore , I attempted suicide. I was saved, but I lost my child . And that made me change... This incident made me closer enough to Allah, and I'm happy... Now. That doesn't mean I don't regret my actions from past, I surely do. I'm happy because Allah guided me... Allah accepted me despite of me being a shameless sinner. Allah showed me the right path . He... Would you forgive me still? '

Tears were cascading down her cheeks and my eyes were wet too, I didn't even imagine she had gone through so much ... And what shaped her was a beautiful transformation Allah had gifted her. When Allah did forgive her, who was I to accuse her?

I stepped forward, and pulled her into my embrace.. the kind of one which melted your heart. I wanted to tell her through my gesture that I had forgiven her. She might've not expected this of me, even I might've not expected this of me if Mehmood was to inform me of all this... But some things happen for good. Allah had to save my friendship, but my marriage seemed trailing off towards danger. I didn't have a big heart enough, to forgive him. To forgive him for what he did to my best friend. To forgive him for what he did to me...

Time will unravel the secret soon.

Dr. Saaleh:

We both had got window seats linearly, me and Durre shehwar sitting together and behind us were Ma'arij and Mehmood. The plane had taken off from Pakistan later than it's departure time, and so we all were tired. Ma'arij and Mehmood were already asleep I guess as I couldn't hear them talking anymore, and Durre was lost staring in the dark clouds.

I held her hand softly, and that made her turn towards me and I asked hee if everything was alright . Her eyes were glistening with tears.

" What happened Durre? Are you not feeling good because you left your parent's home? Don't worry if you want I'll make sure you keep visiting them every... "

But she took off my hand from hers and asked me a question I was not expecting her to ask.

' Why did you agree to marry me? You know nothing about me. You are so well settled , happy with your life... Then why did.. '

" Alhamdulillah yes. But it was Mehmood who asked me to get married. And then when I thought of it I saw no harm in it. And yes I know you. You are a beautiful girl inside and out, when you smile it's  truly like that of shining pearls... You radiate the glow of eeman from your soul, I got attracted to you the first night only. Not the physical kind of, but the spiritual one. "

I smiled genuinely at her and again held her hand and brought them closer to my lips to place a soft kiss at her knuckles, her skin was soft as a feather.

' Would you still love me if i told you I was once a fahisha(seductress)? '

I couldn't believe what I heard!

" What? "

' You heard right. '

" Durre Shehwar no one is allowed to judge anyone except Allah, not even ourselves . Yes you should be mindful of what you do , whether it's right or wrong, you can call yourself a sinner. But I WARN YOU, never call that word to yourself again ever in front of me or in front of anyone, Mind you! NOT .EVEN. YOURSELF. "

I pressed each and every word with my temper shooting a bit high, as I was reminded of Khadijah... She used to do the same, degrade herself.

I turned my face away from her and placed the towel on my face, dimmed the lights and indicated her to sleep.

' I knew you won't feel the same towards me once you knew this. It's okay. It's my.. '

" Will you shut up? "

I raised my tone loud enough to gather attention and the next moment I regretted it.

She was already on the verge of crying and I might've further pushed her , encouraging her to carry on with tears .

This reminded me of my first fight with Khadijah. Why is everything reminding me of her? Will I not be able to love her the same way I loved my deceased wife? Will I not be able to protect her as well... Will I... No, I had to hush my brain from the negative thoughts.

I thought of what I had just done and I immediately apologized .

' You can divorce me if you want. '

I didn't expect to hear this either. It felt like someone stabbed right inside my heart, but I knew it coming from her definitely meant that she was too disturbed...