Assalam.o.Alaikum!
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I thought of an update before going into a pause again :p coz #ProffExams!

Ma'arij:

" So what colour will you choose for yourself Durre? OMG you know I still can't believe my best friend is getting married along with me! Ya Allah I'm so happy, I'm so happy! "

I squealed like a lil kid in front of her, my eyes glistening with myriad of emotions.

I thanked Allah for getting to know that those pictures were fake, I dared to ask himself when I got chance and when he denied any such thing I felt peace .

' Red. I would prefer being a desi bride. But honestly it feels so odd. Like I mean. He is so old and I never assumed I would be getting a husband who would be twice my age, Astaghfirullah. Plus, married once too. I am getting second thoughts about this nikkah Maarij. Tell me what should I do. '

She held her head between two palms of her hand, fingers crisscrossed hiding her eyes but displaying her anxiety.

" Hmm. That is natural naa yar. Of course who in the world would want to get married to someone older than your age almost like you're a teenage and the guy is totally an adult! But it is happening with everyone's consent, your consent, and moreover as you say Qadr Allah. You prayed istakhara right? "

I removed her hands covering her face and made her look towards me.

' But why aren't 'you' feeling like this too? Mehmood is no less in age difference being elder than you as well, you both have like 8 years or something. '

She expected me to flinch or act wildly on hearing this but I was calm Alhamdulillah. I knew this but age doesn't matter when two hearts are bind by Allah's will.

" Qadr Allah. Habibi. Qadr Allah. "

I smiled at her and kissed her cheek, and then got back to what we were doing. We were selecting dresses online for us to have the design, texture and colour in our mind and mom had already assigned personal boutique to stitch the dresses for us. She  even wanted to make arrangements for Durre shehwar but her father was too stubborn to take our assitance in financial matters. So the design and dresses would be same but the designer would be different. I thought of Green colour as that suited my skin tone perfectly.

' Achaa. You were saying something about Dijah? What is it? '

Durre brought the topic back which I left midway when I saw bhai crossing from the corridor and then just it slipped of my mind.

" Better not ask pls. That bi.. "

' No curse words! '

" Okay. I had not expected this from her. She. She. Photoshopped pictures from the net and pasted Mehmood's photo on some really gruesome pictures like someone drinking and dancing, flirting with a girl, and... "

I saw the expressions on her face changing colours from that of radiant to dull amd gloomy. As if someone just squeezed the happiness out of her.

' uhm . continue? '

But somehow she overcame that and asked me to continue. I couldn't find suitable words to tell her. I tried though.

" firstly anger took better hold of me and I cried and blamed Allah for sending Mehmood in my life. I thought he is not good for me. But then I went to confront him... "

She  cut me off immediately ,

' You what? You confronted him? '

Her eyes turned the size of saucers as if about to bulge out of their sockets.

" Why couldn't I ? "

I raised a brow at her and determining her eyes, I was seeking for any clue that she was hiding from me. Maybe she knew about this.

" Did you know about this all? "

Previously light and calm atmosphere was now tensed .It never happened that we got into an argument or even a blame game session. Sort of. I was the one here doubting her.

' No.. N.. no.. I was just thinking about my past. About.. About how will I confront him to confess what I've hidden inside me for so long that it aches to withhold anymore. Tell me Maarij, how did you do it? Just went to him and asked? But. How did you believe him? Wasn't your trust shattered? '

Her deep brown orbs were reflecting truth of her words, they were searching mine to console her to tell her that I was messing her mind up. Why did I always do this? I didn't mean to hurt her, heck. I didn't even intend to strangle her with my crappy doubts. That was all because of her. Khadijah. That so called muslim!

" Ssh. Ssh. Durre. It's nothing like thay. Just forget okay whatever I said, I didn't say it. Okay ? "

' Things said are never unsaid Maarij. Likewise what's done, cannot be undone . We cannot plant a rose one good day, and when we feel we need it for some other purpose just pluck it off. No. When you grow something, you put life into it. When you take that life away , you are responsible for that. You do it intentionally . '

Drops of hurt flew down her eyelashes , wetting my hand holding hers.

" I... I ... Didn't mean... To "

' It's okay Ma'arij. I know you were not intending to scar me, but whatever you just said made me felt as if I am a culprit too. What if those pictures you saw were real ones Maarij? Can you forgive him? Can you?? And what if someone told you that I was also a similar person ?'

She paused , hiccuping and then wiping her tears with the back of her ends stood up.

' You need to figure that out before marrying him. May Allah help you. I need to go. '

" Listen. I know what you're hiding. And I don't think you are responsible for that. Blke(infact) I was already right in the first place, that Mehmood was th.. "

' How can you be so... '

" Typical woman? Or something else? I saw Mehmood when your proposal was being discussed with Dr.Saaleh. His eyes spoke volumes . And you don't have to justify yourself . yes. You  were right. Things done cannot be undone. Allah Hafiz. Now you may leave . "

' B.. But Ma'arij.. I can explain? It's not what you're thinking is true. '

" I didn't ask you to explain . leave. "

' Pls Ma'arij. '

Her eyes were painful, swollen due to the crying episode she just started right in front of me.

" And yeah I'll ask my parents to separate our weddings. If I am supposed to get married to him. I accept him that's because I am madly in love with him. I would want your ass to be far away from me as possible. "

Khadijah:

" What are you doing Diljah??? "

Oh, no. I forgot to lock my room! It was fajr time. I just had spread the mat which I bought from the store , choosing intricately that it had no design or any resemblance of any sort that if any chance brings my mom to see this and assume that it's a prayer mat. I bought the one which looked persian, and was quite different than the usual prayer mats, but at least better than the dupatta I used to pray on.

' Ammi. Woh mai.. Woh.. '

Stammering was my best thing whenever ammi caught me or scrutinized me with her motherly glares .

" Kya woh woh? Tum namaz prh rhi thi? "

I found beads of frustration and fear occupying slowly on my forehead, I quickly wiped them away with my sleeves. I could see hatred evident in mom's eyes.

' N.. No.. No ammi. I was just practicing yoga. You know that day Nadir was asking me to have a perfect figure, he said he wants his bride to be the most beautiful one ever. And you know about my fat obsessed tummy right? See? '

I grabbed the skin on my tummy from above the dress I was wearing and tried to convince her that I wasn't reading namaz. Thay would be so worst if she finds out now.

" Oh.. Beta. You just took my life away. Whatever but pls stay away from those muslim friends of yours, I don't want them to brainwash you and transform into someone I would never wish my daughter to turn into. You are a beautiful young woman. My young woman. And yeah,Nadir is right. See how crazy he is about you. Maintaining figure and all for him, ehh?? "

She winked at me and then blowed a kiss in my direction and closed the door swiftly.

I sauntered towards the door just to lock it in case she arrives again, but then again she was here .

" Why are you locking the door beta? Chill okay. No one's here and I for sure am not going to say anything as far as you do stuff  to make Nadir happy. I love you for choosing Nadir. And Naadir loves you for choosing him. I will just bring you a cup of green tea, I just read it few days ago that it's beneficial for burning down extra fat in the body. "

She patted my cheeks and then went towards the kitchen .

Ya Allah! The sun is almost coming out, I couldn't even pray two farz raakats and she came? Help me. Pls Ya Allah.

Meanwhile I was praying to Allah, to help me out with my fajr prayers I heard a shrill voice of my mother shouting my name for help.

Abruptly , I ran towards the kitchen and what was in front of me was enough to pull my soul out of my body. But I had to be calm.

' Maaaa. '

Kitchen interior was surrounded with huge orange and yellow disastrous flames,that spread across the cabinets to the slab and to where my mom was standing previously to make me a cup of tea. She had collapsed on the floor out of fear and panic,and all I could see was my only support of life, my mother lying there with no ability to fight the fire,hopeless and helpless .

Ya Allah! Help me.

I need YOU the most.

I didn't care of what would happen to me or whethee I was doing right or wrong, I just took off the sheets that was covering the sofas in the lounge and wrapping it around myself and just saying Bismillah in heart I slowly moved into the fire.

Oh Allah, you can let the fire cool if you wish to happen so... I request you and I plead you . The way you helped Hazrat Ibrahim Alaihi Salam out of the fire.

Shutting my eyes and taking one deep breathe, I held another sheet tucked under my arms and proceeded to get my mother out of the hell. Alive.

I won't let you burn in hell, ammi. I love you too much to let you burn. I promise, to myself. If you help me out Allah, I will do whatever I can to convince my mom towards Islam.

Indeed, You are My Lord. And I am your sinful servant.