After two weeks,

Ma'arij:

I always took granted... Ya Allah I'm sorry. I took Your mercy,Your love for me granted... I always disobeyed You while You still provided me with every comfort I could get.
Ya Allah... I didn't knew this about him...
Why? What was my fault to get a punishment like this?
Ya Allah... Oh Lord of heavens and earth! I call upon You like You ask us to call upon You. Ya Allah ! I am in agony , I feel this pain taking my breathe away slowly. Two weeks since that night when my abba fixed my nikkah date. And exactly the day after I recieved pictures of him. Him. Whom I loved more than You. For whom I thought I must just ignore the boundaries drawn by Islam between us, and... And I tried to talk to him. I tried romanticizing this relationship, though I know I shouldn't have. I hugged him.I was so happy by the news that I couldn't control myself... I sneaked to his room that night and just abruptly woke him up and hugged him. He must have felt burst of different emotions that night when I confessed my love to him. Even he might have thought I was crazy.When I cried hearing abba making the most best decision of my life. I even cried in his arms, he thought something was wrong with me... With this nikkah thing being finalized  but then I told him that I loved him.I cried so much that I felt my tears had dried... Ya Allah...

My breathes  were getting heavier amd were clogged in my throat, I swallowed the lump formed hardly and then continued again.

Allah... You are The all knower, You have seen the unseen. You saw it coming before even I was born. He. He used to drink? He had past affair with some girl? Those pictures. They're playing in my eyes like a reel of a movie does. I cannot forgot what I saw. Whatever the source of the anonymous arrival of pictures be, I cannot forgot what I saw... I cannot confront him now. I can't dare to look at him after what I saw through those pictures.

Suddenly, I got a thought that what if those pictures were just photoshopped. Was merely a prank, by someone who despised me. Who hated my happiness. And who could that be.

Wiping my tears away, I cleaned my face with any traces of tears left and went to the washroom to splash water and wash away the idea of gloominess reflecting by my face.

I knew who this was and I was so stupid blaming Allah for all this, I mean for sending Mehmood in my life.

Though that night Mehmood had not only won a place in my heart but also taught me something  very beautiful I had hesitated to learn.

He said see Maarij, I know your love for me is no joke and I won't reply to your confession now and earn the wrath of Allah. I know you are younger than me by a difference of 5 or 6 years may be, but I know what is right. We should strive to earn Allah's sweet love by distancing from our nafs, we should try pleasing Him before pleasing ourselves. I know you're  a girl that likes to fly high, that loves to be independent. But Maarij, would you love to see yourself in fire of hell dependent on no one but Allah's mercy? Where it wont be shown!  You know what would be told to the people of hell? That they had chance to repent, to turn to Allah but they didn't  so now hell was their final abode. Maarij. I know I might be hurting you by not acknowledging your feelings for me, but don't hurt yourself loving someone , whose love won't make any difference in your life except bringing you closer to hell. I want you as my soulmate, as my wife, as my halal partner , or you can say as my mehram. I am not saying that I am a pious man. But I would love to make myself one, to get someone as pure like you. And you know what I would call you, In sha Allah? I would love to call you Taahiraa.(which means pure one).

And his words had melted my heart, I had thought about each and every word coming out of his mouth from the core of his soul. I thought about pleasing my Lord. I thought about my mistakes, my failure to seek His pleasure by hiding myself from namehrams. Soon the next day, I had started wearing abaya. Though it was an overly sized, but I had a good vibe all over me that I was his taahiraa.

But then, that envelope of his pictures reached me somehow .And shaitaan tried embracing me meticulously .

And now I knew. Khadijah that fake muslim, had to do with this. Afterall, I had planned to snatch my brother, her love, away from her by talking to mom and bhai about Durre for being his wife .

Durre:

" Betaa, there is a surprise for you. Ameera apologized to me for whatever had happened due to the foolishness of her daughter about Hunain. And said she has a better and wonderful proposal for you. She just suggested me about Mehmood's brother,Saaleh to be your husband. They haven't talked to him yet , because you might know that her marriage is just at the end of this month and there are hardly any days left. "

Mom, out of somewhere appeared into my room when I was preparing for last exam that was tomorrow, and here she is breaking out the news of 'another proposal '. Wow.

Was this 'let friends get married season' going on in my life?

' Ammi. No.. I have to.... '

" Yes yes I know you've to study further but I'm not denying you that. I even talked with your father about this proposal , even he seemed happy about this. It's just about your consent beta. Let us fulfill this duty. "

The storm that was calmed few months ago was now coming back in my life. I hated this discussion.

' But ammi I don't know him... I mean... We are totally strangers. And what about my future ? I am not questioning yiur and baba's decision about my marriage but pls try to ... Understand me. '

I completed my sentence at the end trying to find appropiate words not to hurt her sentiments.

" Fine. We will arrange a meetup for you two. If you like him, then will you be okay with it? "

Ammi was persistent on her idea of getting me married, but how can I get married so early. I was just 15!

' As you wish ammi. '

I found no other option then to surrender. May be this was already destined for me. And what was wrong anyways in just meeting him, she said that I had the right to cancel this proposal if I wanted to.

' But when is this meeting going to take place? And I don't want to meet him in seclusion. Will you be there when I will talk to him? '

I did not want to displease Allah in pleasing my mom. Firstly, we should love Allah before loving anyone else in this world. He is the sole owner of us, He made us but sadly some of us just forget this and shower love elsewhere greater than they do towards Him, which is why they get heartbroken.

" Hmm. I know. "

She came forward and kissed my forehead, cupped my face in her palms and then whispered in my ears .

" May Allah bless you my daughter for listening to me. I am sorry. For times I get too harsh on you, or when I... "

Her eyes were almost moist with unspoken tears that were daring to put a trail of saltiness on my mother's sweet face. No matter what the tension was between us , I always loved her. Who doesn't love their mom?

Saaleh:

Ameerah aunty and Mr.Khalid, Hunain's father just discussed a proposal for me with much hesitation and pause. They both were now staring at me silently hoping that I do not mind what they just said and give a clue of what I was thinking .

My mind took me back to those days when my dadi suggested Maryam's mother for me. That time I had not resisted much and had soon agreed to her opinion. And Alhamdulillah that had got me the best phase of my life. But it was destined in the way it happened , soon after Maryam's demise she too left me alone in this world to fight with my isolation and desolateness .

While coming to Pakistan, Mehmood had urged me to move forward after a couple of years had I been holding to their memories. He wanted me to experience the spiritual and joyful bliss of a marriage according to Islam once again. And here I got one more chance to make my dadi happy. She missed Maryam. She wanted nothing but to see me happy in this ordeal of life.

" In sha Allah I will pray istakhara and then respond to you about it. Umm. What's her name by the way? "

I asked plainly, I didn't wanted to gain Mehmood's attention on this but that failed. As soon as these words left my mouth, his playful smirk was teasing me sideways.

' Okay Alhamdulillah. We have already discussed with the girl's family. Her name is Durre Shehwar. Though, she is very young for you. But if Allah wills, this relation can be secured and turned out to be best in both of your favour. '

They both smiled a genuine one towards each other, nodded at me and left from there.

Mehmood started whistling finding the opportunity marvellous.

' Oh. Congrats bro. We can hear wedding bells. '

It was Hunain's turn to join Mehmood in his mission now. They both high fived and sat at either sides of me and started their bantering session of making me shy and blush. But I was not a teenage boy anymore!

" Shut up  you two! I am not your age to pull the strings of my heart on just hearing some girls name, that my heart gets erratic . I have to go to pray now. "

' Dr in him is speaking not he actually so chill bro. '

Mehmood sent a wink at me , passing to Hunain. I just rolled my eyes and went for praying istekhara. I did not want to put high hopes regarding me for anyone.

After finishing my two rakat nafal prayers, I raised my hand and whispered to Allah,

Oh Allah, you know that I am twice her age maybe. You know that this will be the second time for me , and for the girl it'd be her first. I don't want to hurt her sentiments, or act foreign to her. I don't  want to make her feel that she is too young and comparatively immature. I just want to hold her hand and say, You were destined for me. If she is written next to me, make her the coolness of my eyes and grant us both to achieve your  love. Ya rabbul alameen! Make me the way I could hold her close to my heart, protect and cherish her and live with her as young I would be as being suitable for her age. Ya Allah, help me to achieve her if she is better for me in both of the worlds. Ameen.