I haven't been active in 5 days, that was the last time I actually opened up this app. I decided to open it today and was confused by the lack of notifications for Fuckboi Hotline in my notification bar due to how active that book was.

I look at my profile, it says I only have one book published and I freak the fuck out. Open my drafts, fuckboi hotline isn't there.

It's deleted, gone, never to be restored again.

Is that a fucking joke? Is this really a fucking joke to this stupid fucking app? Apparently I violated their policies and conduct but I don't know which ones and never will know.

Fuckboi Hotline had ZERO smut; ZERO, as in 0% fucking percent. There was one or two suggestive scenes, but nothing graphic. Yes, there was a shit ton of dark topics that nearly every book on this app writes about that I had WARNINGS for. I literally had warnings for when the scene started and ended.

I marked my book as mature— I followed the basic fucking policies and my book still gets removed with no warning and a shitty little fucking message from them.

It's a sick fucking joke. Three years I poured all my passion into this book, I had so much stuff written. My outline chapter is gone and I had outline to CHAPTER 80, I can't remember what those chapters are anymore. I had so much words written, so many chapters planned.

But my god the fucking memories. I loved seeing everyone's comments, everyone reacting to the content I made and saying they relate or what they don't like about certain things etc. Inside jokes that we all had throughout the book, stupid jokes people still remembered 50 chapters in. It's all gone over this stupid fucking app.

I'm literally sobbing as I write this.

Don't even try tell me it's 'just a fanfiction' or that I'm too 'old' for this shit. I made this book when I was 15 till I was 18. It made my writing flourish, I developed with this book. Fuckboi Hotline literally made me a better writer and I could see it from the earlier chapters to the newest ones. When I wrote this book it made me realise I want to pursue a career in writing and I chose to do a Journalism course in college.

Writing Fuckboi Hotine installed a passion for writing in me after Wattpad (yes) deleted my kpop account and all of my books with it four years ago in the summer of 2020. All my hard work was gone and I never wanted to write again.

But I have this app a second chance, and it's ended up the same way.

I have Fuckboi Hotline up on AO3, but it's only backed up until chapter 47, and I have no recollection of most things in the next chapters. So if anyone somehow manages to have the chapters from 48 onwards, please reach out to me and I'll try put those up on AO3.

As for what I'm going to do now, I have really no clue. I don't want to write on this app anymore at the moment, but I'm not leaving. I promise you that.

I love the layout of Wattpad, the inline comments, the way you write and structure the story. I love the people I've met on this stupid fucking app due to my book.

I don't want to give up on writing here because I owe it to everyone who put up with my lack of updates for so long, to everyone who supported me whole heartedly as I wrote this book.

The only place I'm going is to Wattpad's Headquarters to burn it down.

Fuckboi Hotline (if I get the last like 10 chapters) will never be published here again. It's too risky and I am not risking it ever again. It will not see the light of day here which is so sad because this app elevated it to the book it is today.

It will remain on AO3, but my passion to complete it has died out so I have no clue if I will ever complete it. If I do update it again, I will notify all of you— I promise.

To those who followed Fuckboi Hotline from the beginning, who joined after I published it and decided to stick around despite me never updating; thank you. It's a cringy ass book in the beginning, I know it. There's some bad jokes, eye clawing moments that make me want to die, but ye all stood by it and I can't express how grateful I am. Your comments, votes, dms and silent appreciation helped me write.

This is such a long and corny message I hate it but I'm in my feels right now and can't read the screen so leave me alone please and don't make fun of me.

I enjoyed writing FBH so much. I loved exploring the potential what if's with the characters, changing up their pasts, friendships and canon events. I loved making them suffer for no reason, it was an experience I enjoyed so much and would do it all over again.

I'm going to gaslight myself into thinking Wattpad deleted FBH before I dropped a chapter (literally chapter 61) that would have broken everyone. It's how I'm going to cope.

I still have the screenshot when FBH hit 1K STOP THIS FUCK YOU WATTPAD.

No, I'm never leaving certain jokes die and trust me they will appear in other stories (cough Kaminari's foot fetus cough). It's just sad that I feel the need to never publish it on this app again.

So, with that said— I'm going to give you all two drafts that I've been working on and have you pick which one you want to read to save myself from eternal suffering.

No, I will not focus on Influencer because that requires too many braincells to do and I genuinely think I was high making it due to the fact it's so complicated.

1) CHEATER; Kaminari Denki
— IN WHICH,

(L/N) (Y/N) is a heartbroken mess after being betrayed by the two people they once trusted and hatches a plan with the school's notorious player to get back at their cheating ex and backstabbing best friend. 

Except feelings become involved, which wasn't the part of the plan at all.

— genre; highschool romance, football, textfic/chatfic, slice of life

2) DEMON PRINCE; Dabi
— IN WHICH,

(L/N) (Y/N)'s life gets turned upside down when a fallen angel and a demon crash through their apartment roof one fateful Friday night.

Now they must send these creatures back where they belong, but a few issues arise - namely the fact that these two creatures aren't exactly welcomed back in Hell.

— genre; fantasy, supernatural, humour, mythical beings

Just comment whichever one you guys prefer and whichever one is more popular, I'll focus on that and hopefully upload said book before college starts!

I'm really devastated by what has happened, and I'm sorry that you guys can no longer read it here :(( thank you all so much for your endless love and support for FBH for the three years it spent on here. I will leave the playlist for it up and put my socials down below if you want to contact me!

Stay safe guys <33

AO3: palepaper_
Tiktok: palepaper
Instagram: palepaper_