Demi

All of us froze, apart from Emily. She continued giggling as Wilmer mechanically lifted her high above his head, his wide eyes finding mine.

"Now down!"

He set Emily on her feet and she took off running down the hallway, her mad giggle echoing through the hallway as Sam ran after her. Kelsey stood there for a moment, looking between me and Wilmer.

"I'll go watch her." She walked quickly out of the room and I took a slow deep breath in through my nose.

"Well... I figured that was coming."

"She called me her dad." Wilmer stared at the floor.

"I know."

"She said daddy." He said slowly, and backed up until he could sit on the couch.

I walked over and kneeled down in front of him, taking his hands in mine. "Speak, Wilmer."

"I don't think I'm ready to do this." He whispered, his eyes still wide and staring.

"What?"

He stood up abruptly, causing me to fall back onto my butt. "I can't do this Demi. I can't be that."

"What are you talking about?" I followed him as he practically ran to the bedroom. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I can't do this." He stalked into the closet and grabbed at clothes, shoving them into a duffel bag he took from the top shelf.

I stared as he zipped it up and it finally clicked; he was leaving.

"No." My teeth came together with a snap and I shoved him away from the door. "You think you can just pick up and leave? You signed those papers too! You told me you could do this!"

"Yeah, and when I signed them I thought I could do it. I can't."

"What about me? Us? What am I supposed to do?!"

"I don't know! Okay?! I don't fucking know! I can't be here though. I'm going to the Tarzana house."

He moved past me but I grabbed his arm, staring up at his face. "If you walk out the door, things between us will never be the same. If you walk away, I can't promise things will ever be okay again."

Wilmer stared at me for a long moment, and as the seconds ticked by my heart started to hope he was finally listening and become rational again.

"Let go of my arm."

I released him instantly, and took a slow step back. "You won't be able to take this back. This isn't something you can just say sorry for and come crawling back into bed at night."

"I know."

"You're going to throw away everything we have because she called you daddy? Because a four year old called you what you've been the past month and a half?"

"I'm not her father." I stepped back again as the words formed a snarl on his lips. "And I never will be."

"Who are you then?" I shook my head, my eyes not moving from his. "Because you're sure as hell not the man I married."

He stalked downstairs and I followed, not believing that this was actually happening.

"Wilmer!"

"What?!"

"You can't just leave! You signed those papers! What am I supposed to do?!"

"Maybe three months is enough." He grabbed his jacket and pulled it on, shaking his head as he fixed the collar. "Maybe you've been right since the beginning."

"No! I wasn't right! And what you're doing now isn't right. You can't just leave me to do this alone!"

"Bye, Demi."

I stalked forward and shoved him again, this time towards the door. "Fine! Go then! I will never be able to trust you again, Wilmer. I will never be able to look at you the same way. You promised- you swore to me you wouldn't ever leave again. It was in your fucking vows!"

"I know!"

"Then why are you doing this?!" I rubbed my face and shook my head. "I mean Jesus Wilmer, talk to me! Don't just pack a bag and leave!"

"I'm sorry." He said, and the door shut behind him.

I stood there for a few long moments, then a noise made me turn around. Kelsey stood there with Emily holding her hand, and I knew both of them had heard what happened. Emily stared at the ground, all of the previous joy wiped from her face. Kelsey stood in stunned silence, just as confused as I was about Wilmer's reaction. My over-thinking had allowed myself to prepare for this exact situation, so I had hours of sleepless nights to plan what I would say and do. It seemed Wilmer hadn't done the same. I didn't blame Emily, especially because when I took to the internet to find advice on what to do (it seemed, my situation wasn't completely unheard of), I had spent hours reading about children and knew there were certain mistakes she would make because of both the trauma of her life and her young age. One of them was generalizing parental figures.

A part of me had hoped she would do it to Wilmer first, but it was gone because of his reaction. This wasn't what I expected at all; especially him leaving. Even in my worst nightmares, I never thought he would leave.

"Demi?" Kelsey spoke tentatively.

"I'm fine." I took a slow deep breath in through my nose; I was numb, but I knew the seal would break eventually.

"Are you sure? I can take Emily..."

The panic that grew in Emily's already wide eyes made me shake my head.

"No it's okay. Really... I'm fine." I forced a close-lipped smile. "Go home, Kelsey, it's late."

Kelsey lowered her voice and took a step towards me. "Demi you don't have to pretend to be fine."

"I'm fine." I gave her a look. "Really, Kelsey, go home."

"Okay... Let me know if you need anything."

"I'm going to need someone to help me out now, so start looking. Someone who has experience and I want to meet with them before they even go near her. Full background check, I don't care how much it costs, okay?"

"Okay." She put her hand on my arm, then walked out, leaving me facing Emily who still hadn't hadn't looked up from the floor.

"Emily?" She slowly looked up, but the moment her eyes met mine she bolted, sprinting away from me into the house. "Emily!" I ran after her, barely able to follow her surprisingly fast movements. She was slower on the stairs so I was just able to reach her before she could get her door shut. The sound that came from her mouth was so terrorized, it made me freeze in my tracks and I knew chasing after her had been the wrong thing to do. She was scrambling back on her butt, a sound like a fearful animal leaving her mouth in a continuous whimper.

"Emily." I whispered. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm not going to hurt you."

She didn't react, the sound finally stopped as the took in a shuddering breath.

"Please, I'm not going to hurt you." I sat down to get to her level and reached out my hand. She stared at it with wide eyes, not saying a word. "It's okay." I slid a bit closer and put my hand on her arm. "I'm sorry I scared you, Emily. I'm not angry with you, okay?" She nodded once and I opened my arms. "Can I hug you?"

Emily hesitated, then leaned forward so I could wrap my arms around her. After a moment she relaxed more and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Where did Wilmer go?"

"He had to go to work for a little bit." I said, the lying sounded worse when I said it aloud.

Emily seemed to except this so we sat on the floor for a long time. Eventually I heard her yawn and rubbed her back softly. "Do you want to sleep with me tonight?"

She nodded so I tightened my hold on her and stood up, then walked to the bedroom. I sat her on the bed then went into the closet to change (I pointedly ignored Wilmer's side and wore my own pajamas). When I came back out she hadn't moved, her eyes still on the ground.

"Come on, let's go brush your teeth."

Emily hopped down and I followed her into the bathroom that was attached to her bedroom. We had gotten a step stool so she could be able to reach the sink, so I stood in the doorway while she brushed her teeth. When she was done I helped her into her pj's then we both curled up under the covers in bed.

"Demi?"

"What is it?"

Emily rolled over to look at me. "Is Wilmer mad at me?"

I furrowed my brow and shook my head. "No, of course not."

"I didn't mean to call him that." She said softly. "He's not my daddy."

I sighed and pushed her hair away from her face, leaving my palm to press against her cheek. "Sweetheart Wilmer's not mad... He was just surprised."

"He read a book about mommies and daddies." She looked down, her lower lip poking out. "I want Wilmer to be my new daddy. I don't want my old daddy."

"You can call him Patrick, if you want. That's his name... That's what I call him."

"How do you know my daddy?"

I took in a slow deep breath; I hadn't realized Emily had no idea why she was here, and who I was to her. I knew she had heard Wilmer and I fighting about it, but I didn't know what she had managed to piece together. I didn't know how to explain it to her and a part of me burned with anger towards Wilmer for not being here to help me.

"Because he was my dad too..." I lifted her chin with my fingertip "But he hurt me too so I stopped seeing him."

"Does that I mean I can stop?"

"Of course." I smoothed her hair back and smiled. "You never have to."

"Okay." Emily tucked her head back into my neck and snuggled into my side. "Demi?"

"What?" She didn't answer for a few moments so I pulled back and lifted her chin with my finger. "What is it, Emily?"

"If Wilmer can be my daddy does this mean you can be my mommy?"

I took a deep breath and tried to think through my answer. "Not yet. Being a mommy is a big step, and you've got to be ready for it."

"Okay." She accepted this and dropped her head back down. Unlike most kids her age, she usually accepted things without question.

After another couple of minutes, I felt Emily's breathing even out and I knew she was in a deep sleep. I took in a slow deep breath, and finally felt the weight of what had just happened crash over me. Wilmer had left- he had actually left. Although the threat was always there- He'd done the same thing multiple times throughout our relationship, this time seemed different. Maybe it was because it wasn't just us anymore, or because it was one time too many, but I had a sense of finality about it. A part of me that I shoved deep under all of my residual anger, ached for him. That part of me wanted to scream until my throat was raw, and cry until I had nothing left, but Emily's weight on my chest and her breath on my neck was enough to keep my hold on reality. I knew by now my whole team would know about Wilmer's walk out because of Kelsey, so they would all be walking on eggshells tomorrow. Normally after a fight like this I'd take the next few days off, but I couldn't take days off from Emily. Now I had two of us to think about.

~*~

It's been four days.

This is the longest I've gone without talking to Wilmer in years.

The anger started to burn away around day three, and now the part of me that wants to scream and cry is getting harder and harder to keep back. Emily was back to sleeping in her bed, so I let out my emotions at night, crying so hard I had to scream into a pillow so she wouldn't hear me. We hadn't fought like this in a long time. Usually it was bickering back and forth until eventually one of us caved and apologized, even the occasionally blow-out screaming match that shook the foundations of the house. But he had never just picked up his stuff and left, and that was the part that scared me. Before this it had been me pushing him away, not him running from me.

I woke up on the fifth day to the sun streaming through my windows instead of the blaring of my alarm clock. I rolled over to check my phone, then jumped up with a gasp when I saw it was almost ten o'clock. I practically ran downstairs, but stopped when I was Emily sitting on a chair eating breakfast next to Kelsey with Mike standing in front of the stove, a kitchen towel thrown over his shoulder. A part of me felt a bit put out- when I smelled the food cooking I thought Wilmer had decided to come back. I knew by Mike's presence that I had been putting on a worse facade than I thought. He only came when my team thought I was at risk.

"Morning, Lovato." Mike winked as he slid a plate over to me. "How'd you sleep?"

"Well my alarm didn't go off." I raised one eyebrow. "Any idea why?"

"I thought you could use the sleep, so I had Kelsey sneak in and turn it off."

"Because that's not creepy or anything." I rolled my eyes and went to sit next to Emily. "So who called you? Phil or John?"

"Wilmer, actually."

I put my fork down slowly and looked at him. "So he can call you but not his wife?"

Kelsey stood up abruptly and took Emily out of the room, handing Mike the empty plates. I waited until they were out of ear shot until I spoke again.

"You don't need to be here."

"Don't I?" I raised his eyebrows and continued to clean up. "Because as I recall, you're supposed to call me with any major changes in your life. I have to find out from Phil that you adopted a kid? Then a week later I find out from Wilmer that he left? That sounds like some pretty huge life changes."

"I meant you don't have to be here because Wilmer left."

"That's exactly why I have to be here."

I swallowed hard and pushed around the food on my plate. "He's not coming back, is he?"

"Couples fight all the time."

"Not us." I didn't look at him. "This is different and you know it."

"I'll admit... he's not acting like himself." Mike cleared his throat and sighed. "He's coming by to pick up more of his stuff."

"More stuff?" My voice cracked and I finally lifted my head. "How much more?"

"I don't know." The sympathy in Mike's eyes was enough to confirm my worst fear; that Wilmer was actually leaving me. "All he said was that he'd be by soon."

"And I'm assuming you're going to make me be here for that?"

"Kelsey and I will take Emily somewhere... you two need to talk."

"What do you think I've been trying to do?" I hit my hand on the table. "I've been calling him for days, and he won't answer. Instead he's a fucking coward and calls you to deal with the shit he caused."

Mike's phone buzzed and he checked it, his lips pressing together in a frown. "Well you'll have your chance to tell him yourself, because he'll be here in five minutes."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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