this takes place sa vday chapter ng just maybe.

tw: r-18. mild bdsm. medyo detailed. you can skip this special chapter if you are uncomfy with sexual content. but if you decide to continue, read at your own risk.

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K I N O 

I lost count of the minutes I stood in front of my father's tomb. I was just there, staring.

Francisco Latrell G. Ferolino
July 10, 1970 - February 14, 2013

Words couldn't form inside my head. Marami akong gustong sabihin ngunit hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula.

"It's been a while, Dad," I finally managed to speak. I was resisting the urge to cry. I promised him I wouldn't tear up the next time I visited. Naalala ko pang sabi niya noon na kapag namatay raw siya ay ayaw niyang may umiiyak sa libing at puntod niya. I always hated it when he said that. As if he was foreshadowing his own death. 

And he did. 

Nilapag ko sa kanyang puntod ang mga bulaklak na binili ko kanina matapos ang klase namin. Inayos ko nang bahagya ang suit na aking suot sa tuwing binibisita ko siya. It had been a thing for me to meet him in the attire I wore during his funeral. That was the last time I saw him, even it was just his lifeless body. Sa pagsuot nitong suit na 'to, kahit papaano, nakikita ko pa rin siya.

I took a seat, not minding the dirt my trousers would get. "It's Valentine's Day today. The month of love, as others call it. Funny enough, I don't feel any love at all." My mind trailed to the images of Niko and Mateo. Sure, I know they love me but that's different. I want that familial love I hadn't felt ever since Dad died.

I paused. "You were supposed to be here. We'd go out, watch the cinema, and do the things we used to do." I heaved out a sigh as I reminisced about the past. "I was stuck with Mom throughout these years, and I hate that I'm getting used to it. I don't want to be with her anymore, Dad. It's not healthy for me." 

All I needed was love, but my own mother couldn't give it to me. 

Alam ko naman na kahit anong pilit ko, hinding hindi na mababalik ang buhay ni Dad. If only there was a way, I would pay any price. But it wasn't possible. 

"My day wasn't any special, Dad. Wala akong makukuwento," I continued, laughing at the end of my sentence. My day was always repetitive. Gigising, papasok, uuwi, mag-aaral, matutulog, at gigising uli. That's my routine every day; it was becoming boring. If I had free time, I would invite Mateo to play guitar with me. Though most of the time, Mateo's not available. It was understandable. Architecture is not as easy as it sounds. 

My voice faded as I remember a certain someone. How could I forget that one person who made my life more bearable?

"Well...siguro later...it will be." I smiled. 

Unbelievable. Nakangiti na agad ako kahit iniisip ko palang ang mangyayari mamaya. I lightly slapped myself. Get yourself out of the gutter, Kino. You're not supposed to feel things. 

"Long story short, Dad, I will most likely enjoy later." I bit back a smile. "It's kind of sexual...and I don't know if you would want me to share that with you but I'll keep it to myself na lang." My father doesn't need to know about my sex life, anyway. Sino ba namang magkukuwento ng ka-fling niya sa harap ng puntod ng kanyang tatay, 'di ba?

Hindi na rin ako nagtagal matapos kong sabihin lahat ng gusto ko. Sa totoo lang, paulit ulit lang ang sinasabi ko. Nevertheless, telling him updates about how my life had been was therapeutic for me. Kahit wala akong matanggap na sagot mula sa kanya. I know he's listening to me. 

Deciding to go back to my car, my steps became faster. I figured my baby was waiting for me. Hindi mawala sa isip ko kung sinunod niya nga ba 'yong sinabi niya sa tawag namin. Is she really waiting inside my house naked? With the collar wrapped around her dainty neck?

Nang makarating ako sa loob ng kotse ay agad kong tinawagan ang number ni Aleah. It didn't take her a few rings to answer my call. 

"Hey, baby."

I started the car as I heard her reply. "[Hi! Are you still outside?]" she spoke, her soft voice echoing in my ears. It was funny how her voice can make me smile in an instant. Again. 

"I'm going home, my baby. We'll see each other soon. Are you waiting inside like the good girl you are?"

"[Yup! Actually, I've been here for a while now, patiently waiting for you. Hihi,]" she giggled. Oh, gosh. That giggle of hers.

As if it was my last straw, I started the engine and drove. "Good. I'll be there in ten. You best be dripping wet when I arrive there, baby."

"[Oh, I already am.]"

That drove me to the brink. I needed to be with her. I needed to see her now, but I didn't want to be ticketed for exceeding the speed limit. That would only delay everything further. Gosh, I really don't know how Aleah could make me feel like this. As if it's excruciating that I don't feel her body heat against mine. 

Kumalma ka, Kino. You have Aleah all day for yourself. 

The sight of our subdivision made me sigh in relief. The gate opened as the guard saw my car entering. He greeted me a good afternoon, and I felt terrible I had avoided him. My mind couldn't stop running to the thought of my dick plunging deep inside Aleah while I have her down on all fours, her body tied up in bondage. The image of her struggling to cling to me as I make her feel good was more than enough to make the crotch of my jeans tighten. I had never come with just the thought.

Fuck. What are you doing to me, Aleah? 

It didn't take me long to reach my house. Dali-dali akong nag-park sa gilid nito. Hindi na ako naabala kung maayos ba o hindi. All that mattered was Aleah. My mind was full of her.

I rummage into the pockets of my trousers to pick up the keys. I tried to unlock the door, only to find out it wasn't locked. Aleah probably forgot to. I stepped inside, noticing how quiet the living room was. Where was she? Nag-expect pa naman akong siya una kong makikita pagkabukas ko ng pinto. 

"Aleah? Baby?" I called. No one answered. Was I heard? All the doors were closed. The walls were thick; maybe my voice was muffled. I tried looking at my gym room, but she wasn't there. Silence only filled the room. I looked through the rest of the rooms, leaving my bedroom for last, hoping she was there. The anticipation of seeing her was new to me. If ever she wasn't there, it would be my first time being stood up. My ego could take that, but what wouldn't sink into me was the question of whether I did something wrong. Nagbago kaya isip niya? Alam kong sinabi niya kanina na narito na siya, pero paano kung bigla siyang umalis? 

I shook my head. Walang silbi ang pag-iisip ko ng gano'n kung hindi ko bubuksan 'tong pinto sa harap ko. I twisted the door knob of my bedroom. My hope heightened with every centimeter as  I opened the door. At first, I could only sight my bed and cabinet. No signs of her. 

But there she was, at last. As I completely opened the door, I realized she was true to her words. Gosh, she really was naked. That pink collar I gave her fits perfectly around her neck and the chains attached trail over the floor. Her gaze turned to mine, surprised to see me. "Oh! I didn't hear you enter."

I know I should reply, but I just couldn't take a step forward, or even move any of the parts of my body. My eyes were fixated on her, following every curve her body had. Fucking hell, she was perfect. This wasn't even my first time seeing her nude, so why? Why am I always breathless by the beauty she possesses? 

Maybe it wasn't only the fact that she was standing in front of me without any clothes on. Maybe it was also because she was trusting me enough to do things she had never experienced before. I couldn't guarantee how rough I would be the moment I taste her, but she was there, standing so innocently. Waiting to be fucked. Clueless about how I'll wreck her.

"Are you just going to stand there or--" Hindi na niya natuloy ang sasabihin niya. I pulled the chains and let her body drop onto mine, my palms gripping her waist hard. My lips crashed onto hers, savoring every minute and every second like a madman. Perhaps she was craving for me like I was to her when she hurriedly removed my suit, leaving me with my white polo and black necktie. I let it fall down. Our lips moved in harmony and with each movement, I felt my self-control zap bit by bit. I just want to bend her over my desk and fuck the shit out of her. The red light she probably set up wasn't helping; it made everything hard for me to control. But I know I shouldn't. Not yet. I wanted to give her the taste of heaven before I do. 

I grabbed a handful of her hair as I deepen the kiss. I needed more of her.

"Mmph!" she moaned against my lips, and for fuck's sake, that was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. My fingers trailed the curves of her waist, drifting it down to her ass. My ears were blessed once more by the sound she made as I cupped a cheek of her soft, rounded butt; she was so easy to stimulate.

Aleah whined as I unlatched my lips from hers. For a split second, her eyes turned to mine, eyebrows raised as her doe eyes craved for more. As if asking why I stopped. Oh, baby, we're just getting started.

Placing both of my palms on her waist, I nuzzled my face on her neck. "Fucking hell, Aleah, I want to devour you right here, right now," I murmured, still catching my breath from the electrifying kiss we just had. My lips found their way to the sides of her neck. I sucked her skin and left a mark. A mark that signifies no other man could touch. Because the moment another man will leave a hickey on her porcelain skin, all hell will let loose. 

Aleah is mine and mine alone. 

As her body was pressed against mine, I could feel the heavy breathing she does. "Then do it, baby," she spoke breathlessly. Her arms extended, palms cupping my cheeks. "Devour me. Take me. Claim me. I'm all yours." 

I couldn't wait any longer. My body was in heat, and so was my gaze on her. "Get on your knees," I commanded which she much obliged without hesitancy. It felt good how I got her wrapped around my finger. How easily I control her. How submissive she was.

Her eyes looked up at me, and she was biting her lip from nervousness or excitement, I wasn't sure. Though I was certain every ounce of nervousness she had, if any, would only be replaced by pleasure by the end of this.

"You don't get to call me baby today, Aleah. Nor you won't call my name. Or even moan. You will only talk if I tell you to." I knew how she loved to cry out and call my name, especially when she was nearing climax. I wanted her to fight that urge. That temptation. I wanted her to suffer. "Because once you disobey," I reached for her chin and lifted it up. "Punishment awaits you, baby. Got that?"

I watched her throat bob up and down, gulping. She nodded. 

Naningkayad ako para tingnan siya sa kanyang mga mata. My eyes soften. "You remember your safeword, right? Use that if things get too much for you, okay?"

"I can take everything you do to me, Kino. I'll take it like the good girl I am," she ensured. 

"Good." I put my hand on the back of her head, pulling it closer to me as I plant a soft kiss on her forehead. 

As I stood up, I felt her eyes following mine. Pumunta ako sa cabinet na nakatabi sa 'king kama para kunin ang mga gagamitin namin. It was actually a gift from Mateo on my 20th birthday. He only gave it as a joke and I never expected I would use it on someone. I left out the things we wouldn't be needing. I didn't think Aleah would like hardcore BDSM, considering she hadn't even experienced the light one. 

Once I was done, I went back to her. 

"On the bed. Now."

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