(prompt: 'crooked' 10/7/2020)

It all began simply enough—Ted Bear Esq. was ageing somewhat now; not quite as spry as previous Teddy Bear picnic days. It was only ever intended to welcome friends visiting from far away. Ted Bear guessed he was an uncle to them because they were the children of the grand-daughter of his mother, Christine. It was all too hard, actually—all this second cousin twice removed rigmarole. Almost unbearable, even in his prime!

Meanwhile, back at the picnic on the front verandah... the simple affair, Ted began with two bestiest old mates, Postie Bear and Greengrass (feeling pleased to see the postie bag was polished and the red bow washed and ironed, he had to grudgingly admit they looked quite distinguished for a couple of 'golden oldies' ). He'd wanted to include Gran and Grandpa but they had a Doctor's appointment; Farmer Dan, the Duck, was down the far paddock, ploughing; and Captain Chas from Tasmania was unbearable if he wasn't allowed to go sailing when the water started running in the drain at the front gate. He only had a small window of opportunity, before his mother said it was too dangerously deep for a small bear like him (EVEN if he was a Captain), insisting he was still her baby boy... forever.

So these three beary old chaps must run the show and welcome Jemima in her pink jumpsuit and Sammy Seal—on holidays from Queensland... Thankfully, Jemima didn't have to walk, and Sammy didn't have to swim—they flew down with their little mother in a B-I-G aeroplane.

But then, because they all love Ted Bear Esq. to read them stories (on account of his big, deep, gruffy voice), a heap of storybook characters chanced to peek out of their best-loved BIG Fairy Tale book as Ted held it open. And it all looked so much fun, they hopped right out of the book and joined the party.

"You may be shocked to know we don't eat much," said the Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe, summoning up ALL of her children.

"Actually, NOTHING at all , said the Crooked Man in a wobbly, crooked kind of voice. Luckily, Mother Goose had given him a lift, or he wouldn't have arrived until tomorrow from his crooked mile!

The three little pigs didn't say much, busily snuffling and snowking and digging around in the corner of the paddock where Farmer Dan had begun. The wolf was on his best most suave behaviour, monocle clenched under one eyebrow and sporting white gloves and a tall top hat.

Jemima volunteered as a pretend 'Rock-a-bye-baby' , while Tweedledum and Tweedledee helped Humpty Dumpty keep his balance and NOT fall off the wall. EVERYBODY remembered what a disaster that accident was.

Luckily, Simple Simon met a pieman on the way, but most wanted only a cuppa from the 'Little Teapot, Short and Stout'.

All agreed it was THE Teddy Bear's Picnic of the century so far.

Author's Note: Did you know today truly is Teddy Bears' Picnic Day here in Australia (and the rest of the CIVILISED world)?