(Taking place before the events of 'Kill the Cows: Epilogue' and during 'Kill the Cows: Finale' and 'Kill the Cows 2'... enjoy the film)

Also just a small note because oh shoot I did NOT find any names that I liked for FarmTale Pap and have been referring to him as 'farm's brother' for the longest time now, which is SO painful. So... to cut down on awkwardness, I temporarily created a placeholder name for the big dude. Sorry I'm lazy if you have any suggestions from like the canon creator please suggest them all I could find is girly stuff like 'Hazel' or taken titles like 'carrot' so yeah the new name is Green. I'm not second guessing that this time. 

(And uhh frankly, I'm aware there isn't a canon FarmTale Muffet, so please improvise for this one... maybe I'll share my design on tumblr later?? I have no idea how you'll imagine her but I'll add a little book description ok? Thanks, love y'all.) 

{Meanwhile}

Crooks felt sick. 

He gripped the corners of his seat as the car rattled along down unfamiliar roads. The ride was long. Unpleasant. Crooks was not comfortable.

Green made things no easier. He drove along, occasionally glancing at the smaller skeleton via the rear view mirror, but for the most part, he contributed to an icy and concrete silence. No attempt at conversation whatsoever. 

Crooks just wanted to sink into the car cushions and disappear. And the weight on his shoulders encouraged it. He could not relax for the life of him. He prayed the stop would come soon. 

In the backseat, by himself, Crooks felt claustrophobic. The walls of the vehicle seemed to close in on him whenever he looked, and that fact made him quite uneasy. 

He felt like he might vomit his breakfast, but swallowed the apprehension down, clenching his lower jaw. He was fine. Nothing bad would happen. Horror was safe and soon enough he would get where he was going. 

That was exactly happened. After the long, long trip, Green pulled into a long, long driveway. On either side were great big pastures. Bigger than the ones on Font Farm. There were so many different plants that Crooks somehow recognized, along with many different animals and even— wait were those spiders?

Pressing his face to the car window, Crooks ogled the small arachnids as they scuttled about. Spiders could farm? That was new. That was cool. 

Crooks' inner mirth sparked as he watched them work, spotting a sign to read as Green continued up the driveway at a respectable pace.

'Muffet's Croft'

Muffet's Croft. That's what the sign said. Spiders crawled over it too, one of them trimming an unruly vine that had latched onto the corner. Crooks wondered how long it took to grow. 

At last, Green came to a stop, arriving in front of a large estate that made Crooks' stomach drop. His metaphorical tummy had butterflies spring to life, flying about and making his insides feel funny. 

When he got out the car, he could barely stand on his suddenly weak little legs. Queasiness overtook him and he wondered if he might actually lose his breakfast. That'd be a major shame.

"Crooks," Green cooed in low, calming chords. Crooks immediately glanced up, looking the larger skeleton right  in the eye sockets. "Calm down. I assure you nothing that happens here will endanger you in any way."

Crooks blinked. Green's hand slowly reached down and wrapped around his, encasing his much smaller hand in a bony cage of confidence. Courage flickered to life within him. 

"Besides, Ms. Muffet isn't one to judge." Green chirped, voice rising a pitch or two as he started towards the doors of what looked like a mansion. "She's quite nice! Just— don't step on her spiders. That would be a very pitiful incidence and would not end well for any of us." 

Ok, mind the spiders. Luckily, Crooks lacked any implication of arachnophobia, so he was able to handle the spiders with relative ease. Perhaps the one referred to as 'Ms. Muffet' was a bug catcher? Or a beekeeper but for spiders. 

With a sharp three knocks, the door groaned to life and slid open. Quick service, Crooks admired, carefully stepping around tiny spiders that ran about, bigger ones pulling open the front door. 

Inside was a lofty front room. There was a quaint spider design on the tile floor, of a bright white to better expose the bitty bugs currently traversing the ground. It branched off into many other rooms, but the front room was speckled with lights and pretty designs, so Crooks thought it was nice. 

Suddenly, Green bent down on his knee, extending his free hand to one of the tiled spider designs. Surprisingly, it came to life, skittering up his arm and to his shoulder. 

Flabbergasted, Crooks looked at the design. Were all the tiles secretly spiders? Or were only some of them imposters? 

"To the Mistress' room." Green whispered, and the spider promptly departed from him, heading in another direction at a brisk speed Crooks had no time to prepare for. 

Green went after it quickly, stride widening as Crooks stumbled in his attempt to keep up, hanging to walk irregularly in order to avoid the many arachnids in the area.

"Mind the spiders." Green repeated, marching up a flight of stairs to a thinner, less crowded hallway. 

On said hallway, were many, many rooms. Though, there was one, much more distinct room at the very end, doorframe lined with gold with doors of a colossal stature, stretching even above Green's towering height. 

The spider squeezed underneath said door as Green came to the stop in front of it, leaving Crooks to stand next to him, riddled by his temporary shortness of breath. 

The door peeled back dramatically, revealing a dimly lit room. Thick curtains covered the windows, and the silhouette of a bed with a person on it their arms folded in from of them carrying a small something. 

"Whosoever might visit me on this fine, lovely day~?" A saccharine tone rang out, causing a wave of charm to pass over Crooks. He and Green both. 

A second pair of arms extended from the person's abdomen, shocking Crooks as they pulled open a curtain, lighting the room a bit better and revealing their appearance a little more. 

Dressed in a night gown, with a slightly ruddied tone to her skin, was the Mistress, Muffet. She had five pretty sparkling eyes, three pairs of thin, clever arms attached to her slim body. All in all, she was an attractive person. 

Her hair was done up in buns, small slippers on her feet as she moved gracefully towards Green, throwing herself into him in a kind embrace. 

"You have been missed old friend." She purred, leveling a seductive gaze with Green, although he looked unfazed with his superior height. "Visiting on my off day hmm? Perhaps there is something you need~?" 

Gesturing to Crooks, who was utterly stumped, Green succeeded in deterring Muffet from him, and to the littler, much less mature skeleton. 

"Oh my! Barely even noticed you!" Muffet chirped, leaving Green cold and alone as she flocked over to Crooks, suddenly bubbly and immersive. She had to crouch down to reach him, because although she was not as tall as Green, she was no stranger to being tall. 

"You must be a quiet one." Muffet hummed, lightly pinching Crooks bony cheek as the latter pulled away with a defensive whine. He was not a baby bones. He could hold his own.

"I believe you were just in a rush to approach me that you did not notice my acquaintance." Green stated matter-of-factly, earning a look that Crooks did not catch from the spider. 

"Can you blame me?" She combatted, puffing up her cheeks as she winked two of five eyes at Crooks. 

"This is Crooks." Green dodged the question, detaching his hand from Crooks' to instead pat his head fondly. "He's a well-mannered young lad." 

"Is that so?" Muffet asked, looking back to Crooks with a gentle smile before rising to her full height once more. "I like a man with manners~." 

Green muttered something under his breath as Crooks warmed a little. Perhaps this visit wouldn't go as bad as he thought. Only time would tell. 

For now he would just go along with the happenings. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Woah hey guys I have a cool suggestion like a commercial but hear me out: 

So like, I used to get a bunch of calluses on my fingers from like writing and drawing and stuff. (Like 3 outta 8 fingers. Always callused) but a while back I started putting thick, rubbery and loose pencil grips on my pencils, and it worked! Ha ha ah no more calluses lol try it I dare you it might not work but it did for me.... (I have no idea why I'm sharing this I googled 'writer's callus' earlier and I was like 'hey I have those lol'...)

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!

- De Moogus 

(P.s 'short chapter today, long chapter later'.