A/N: Dan looks like a full-course meal in this photo and it actually makes my heart hurt.

Your POV

"How have you been reacting to the antidepressants?" Doctor Marie asks me. It's a week after our first appointment, and every day since then, she comes here at the same exact time, asking the same exact questions, and I give the same exact answers.

Well, she did tell me a predictable schedule will help with stabilizing my mood. I just didn't know my days would be a copy and paste sort of situation.

"Fine. Although, I've only been on them for a week, so I'm not sure how much of a difference they'd have made by now." She only nods her head, scribbling something on her clipboard.

"Do you feel you're ready to be discharged?" she asks, looking up at me.

"Does that relate to my physical or mental health?" I ask. I mean, it doesn't really matter. I've been here for two weeks now, and they're both shit. The only reason I'm not in a psychiatric hospital is because I barely have the strength to walk to the cafeteria.

"Both," she replies.

"Then, yes," I lie. Even if I'm falling apart, I still believe it would be easier for me to pull myself together in my own home, rather than being constantly stuck looking at these same four walls.

She nods, writing on her clipboard. "Well, I have some good news, then. Your team had a meeting yesterday, and we've agreed that you can most likely be discharged by Thursday."

I cock my head to one side slightly. "What day is it, again?" When you do the same thing everyday, you start to lose track.

"Tuesday," she answers, and smiles as my face instinctively lights up. "You think you'll be ready to leave by then?"

"Bloody hell, I'd be ready to leave right now, if you let me." She smirks, writing something more on her clipboard. When I first met Marie, I thought she was a stone cold bitch, but the longer I'm here, the more I'm starting to warm up to her.

I've actually started to get close with all the people on my team. I guess thats what happens when you spend twenty four hours a day with the same people. They might have a life outside of here, but I don't. Yes, I still had visitors, but they had started coming less and less often. Not because they don't care, but because we're all busy. I have physical therapy, one-on-one counseling, CBT, and I'm always on some sort of drug that knocks me out. Dodie, Dan, and Phil all have YouTube business, and its an hour drive for Macy, which can be pretty costly. Therefore, Ive been getting all my social interaction with the staff, and occasionally, other patients.

"Well, even when you're discharged, it doesn't mean your life's going to go back to normal," she reminds me for the hundredth time. "You'll have to meet with another psychiatrist, and a therapist, and continue with physical therapy. We are also talking about getting you a nutritionist, that you would meet with monthly."

I bite my lip, my palms instantly becoming clammy. "That sounds...expensive." Although I do currently make a lot more money than I used to, and definitely live quite comfortably, I still have the mindset I had when I was a child, and we'd have to wear bread bags over our feet in the winter when we couldn't afford snow boots.

She gives me a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, your insurance covers most, if not all, of the costs."(idk if people in the UK even have healthcare insurance, but I'm a lazy American, so whatever).

I nod my head, still a bit anxious. I know from experience, that the hardest part of being in the hospital for awhile is getting used to life once you're discharged. Being in the hospital is the safest, least triggering environment. I've known people who were completely confident they were ready to be discharged, only to be back in inpatient less than twenty four hours later. After living somewhere where you're essentially treated like a child, the real world becomes nearly impossible to return to.

"You don't have anything to worry about," Doctor Marie assures me. "I know from seeing your visitors, you have an amazing support system outside of the hospital. Its going to be a challenge, but I know you can do it."

I sigh heavily, and as she leaves, Bryce walks in, giving me my meds. Less than a minute later, I'm out cold.

Wednesday is the slowest day since I was put in here, and I'm just counting down the minutes when I can get my meds, just to fall asleep. However, around noon, Dodie, Dan and Phil show up.

"Hey!" Dodie greets me, the three of them sitting down.

"Hey! I'm getting discharged tomorrow!" I didn't want to tell them immediately, but I couldn't help but blurt it out.

"Yay!" Dodie chants, all three of them smiling happily, and my heart immediately lifts. "You're coming back to the apartment right?"

I love how Dodie's always confident enough to say whatever's on her mind, but sometimes, it can make things just a tad awkward.

However, while looking into everyone's expectant eyes, I can't help but grin. "Of course," I answer.

We hang out a little bit, before Dodie starts complaining about being hungry, and the three of them head off to the food court, leaving me by myself. I'm counting down the minutes to eight o'clock, when my sleeping pills come, and I can slip into unconscious bliss until tomorrow.

As I scroll through Twitter, there's a knock on my door, and I look up to see Dan standing in the doorway, alone. "May I come in?" He asks, taking a step into the room and sitting next to me.

"I don't think you need me to answer that, considering you were planning on coming in, anyway," I answer, and he gives me a cute smile. "So, how's your day been?"

He sighs heavily, leaning back in his chair. "Boring. However, I can't really complain, considering you've had to be stuck here all day."

"Yeah, you're right," I laugh. "Today is actually the slowest day ever, and I have absolutely nothing to do."

"You know, most people would love getting the opportunity to sit on their asses all day," He retorts, smirking.

I roll my eyes. "yeah, but not for over two weeks straight. The first few days can be nice, but after that, you just get restless."

Dan nods his head. "Yeah, that makes sense." He hesitates, before adding. "I'm really glad you're finally getting discharged tomorrow. And...I'm really glad you're coming back to the apartment. I was scared you might be planning on going back to Macy's. I mean, she's a really cool person, but...yeah." His face blushes slightly, and nostalgic butterflies erupt in my stomach.

"Yeah, I love her, but...I miss you." As he looks up at me, I instantly blush, and quickly add, "I miss - I miss you guys." Fucking idiot.

He chuckles nervously. "Yeah, I - I mean, we - have all missed you, too. Dodie practically tried to kill me after you left."

I can't help but snort. "Well, it wasn't really your fault. I mean, I'm the one who kind of self-destructed."

"Yeah, but I think I'm the one who triggered that explosion," he adds, and I shake my head.

"No, I started falling apart long before that night. That was just when I finally detonated. It was going to happen at some point, I just didn't know when."

"Well, what is did still wasn't okay, and I feel like a total cock because of it. And I'm really, really fucking sorry."

I give him a sympathetic smile. "You are forgiven."

A look of relief covers his face, his dimples deepening as he grins at me. "Well, that was easier than I expected," he replies, and I laugh. He continues looking at me, and I can't look away from him, as if I'm trying to re-memorize every detail I've forgotten in the last few weeks. Suddenly, we both realize we're staring at each other, and Dan's face goes red as I quickly look away from him.

He scratches his neck nervously, and I look back up at him. "Um, there's something I need to tell you. Phil said it probably wasn't a good idea, at least, at this time, but...but I feel like I need to."

My eyes narrow together in confusion, and as I see the expression on his face, my heart begins to race. "What is it?" I ask, trying my best at trying to sound reassuring.

"I...um..." he sighs heavily, and as my heart starts thumping in my chest, I wonder if there's any chance I'm going to have a heart attack right now. That would be just my luck.

However, something almost as bad had to happen, and just as Dan seems about to blurt something out, Bryce comes bursting into my room.

"Time for your meds!" He chants cheerfully. "However, these aren't the ones that make you tired, so your...visitor can stay." He gives me a sneaky wink, but I only roll my eyes.

I take the pills, and shoo Bryce out as fast as I can. However, it seems like the damage had already been done.

"What were you trying to say?" I ask Dan, hoping he doesn't notice as I wring my hands together.

He only shakes his head. "Never mind, now's probably not a good time to say it, anyway."

My heart sinks in disappointment. "Okay, just tell me whenever you're ready, I guess," I reply, trying to give him a reassuring smile. However, he looks as if he's just been told Christmas has been cancelled.

"Um, I think I'll actually head out, now," he says, standing up. "I'll, um, see you tomorrow."

"Okay." I watch him as he walks out of the room, and flop back on my bed, covering my face with my hands and groaning.

"What just happened?" I look up, and see Bryce standing in the doorway. "Your boyfriend just walked out of here as if you just broke up with him. Wait, don't tell me you just broke up with him?" Anxiety fills his voice, which only annoys me more.

"No, we're not even in a relationship right now," I answer. "He was about to say something, that sounded like it was pretty important, until you came barging into here."

Bryce rolls his eyes, pulling a chair up to my bed and sitting down. "What do you think he was planning on saying? What is it that's going on between you two?"

I only shake my head. "It's a long story."

"I have time," he replies. "Besides, my job is to make sure you're doing okay. You can talk to me."

I sigh heavily. "When I relapsed, he broke up with me, because I guess I was 'too much.' However, he's basically the one to save me when James, my ex, tried to kill me. I was living with one of my friends for a few weeks after he broke up with me, but she had somehow gotten in contact with him, and had texted him when James was gonna show up."

He nods his head. "So he obviously still cares about you, and I'm pretty sure you still care about him. What do you think he was going to say, then?"

I bite my lip. "Well, I don't want to get my hopes up, but I was kind of hoping he would say he wanted to get back together with me. After all, he, and my other two friends, told me they wanted me to move back into the apartment we all share. The apartment where dan and I shared a bed, might I add."

A huge grin spreads across Bryce's face. "I think him just saying he wants you to move back in is basically the same as saying he still loves you. Besides, he literally comes here everyday, even when the rest of your friends don't. I don't think he could make it any more obvious, without just blurting it out."

"Yeah, but I wish he would just blurt it out," I reply. "I don't want to assume anything, but he's not the kind of person to be incredibly up front about things like that."

"Well, then maybe you have to be the one who's up front," he answers, shrugging his shoulders. After seeing the look on my face, he quickly adds, "Well, I can't think of any other ways you'd get it done. Sometimes, you have to be the one who takes initiative."

"Yeah, but that's not the person I am, either," I reply lamely, and he snorts.

"Well, then I don't know what to tell you," he answers. "However, you just have to remember that you're the only person you have control over. If you want something to happen, you have to do yourself."

I roll my eyes. "Sure, whatever."

"Here, let's make a deal. If he doesn't say anything about...whatever this is by the time you're discharged, you have to bring it up. You have to be the one to say something, and you have to be the one to take initiative."

"Ugh, fine," I grumble. "Now shoo, I need to wallow in self pity."

He laughs, standing up and dusting off his scrubs. "See ya later," he says, leaving the room. I flip back down on my bed, realizing just like before, I have nothing to do to waste my time.

~~~~

The next day eventually comes, and I spend most of it working on discharge paperwork. I won't go into detail, as it was probably the most boring three hours of my life. As I walk back to my room for the last time, Dan, Phil, and Dodie all stand there, waiting for me.

"You ready to go? Hospitals have always given me the creeps," Dodie whines.

I scoff. "You're telling me? I've been stuck here for weeks."

Dan and Phil carry the few bags I have on me, and as I leave the room, Bryce winks at me, reminding me of the promise I had made yesterday. I only roll my eyes, before waving at him, and he waves back.

I'll give Dan until tonight, before bringing it up myself.

"Oh, my fucking God." I take a deep breath, taking in the city air. "I missed this so much."

The three of them laugh, before walking to the sidewalk, where a line of cabs sit. We get into the one at the very end, Dodie giving the driver our address as Dan and Phil throw my things into the back.

"Wait, I just got out! I don't want to go home, yet," I protest.

Dodie laughs. "Okay, but you have a crap ton of stuff we still need to bring home, and you should at least get situated back at home before we go anywhere."

"Ugh, fine," I reply, leaning my head against the window as Dan and Phil both get in the car. Dan sits in the front, Phil getting in next to Dodie, and the cab takes off.

Dan's POV

From the rear mirror, I keep peaking at (y/n), who stares out the window, mesmerized by the streets we pass by as if it's her first time outside of that hospital.

I know I need to tell her what I was going to say yesterday, and knowing her, she definitely hadn't forgotten about it. I just need to grow the balls to tell her, and figure out the right time.

The expression on her face is almost filled with awe, and she even lets out a small laugh as a guy around his sixties roller-skates down the street. I wish I was able to somehow see the world as brightly as she does right now. The fact that she can even have any sort of positive outlook, especially at this point in her life, is pretty fucking amazing.

Although her life is rough, and just like everyone else, she can have negative moments, she's always somehow able to maintain a level head, and that's a big part of how I fell in love with her.

God, I'm so fucking in love with her.

As we finally get back to the apartment, Phil and I unload (y/n)'s things from the back of the cab as Dodie pays the driver. (Y/n) stands in front of the building, and as much as I can tell she's trying to hold herself together, I can see the anxiety boiling up. She takes a deep breath, and the four of us walk into the apartment, Dodie with her arm around (y/n)'s shoulder.

Your POV

Walking into the lobby almost feels nostalgic, and a large knot forms itself in my chest. I know I shouldn't be feeling this anxious, but that doesn't do anything to help calm my nerves.

We walk up the stairwell until we reach the room, and Dan fumbles as he tried to unlock the door, as if the universe is trying to build the anticipation. Finally, the door crawls open, and the four of us walk into the apartment.

A familiar scent I didn't even know I would recognize fills my nose, a sort of mix of scented candles and new paper. I can't help but laugh, and the familiarity mixes me with countless emotions, both good and bad.

Dan's POV

Phil and I bring (y/n)'s things to our room, and as I walk back out, I find (y/n) examining the lounge, as if revisiting her childhood home for the first time in years. Dodie and Phil are doing something in the kitchen, and I stand in the living room archway, not completely sure what to do with myself. (Y/n) turns around, and gives me a small smile.

"I...I dunno, I don't even know what to say, or do." She laughs nervously, and I chuckle.

Your POV

Dan chuckles nervously, both of us standing awkwardly, not exactly knowing what to say or do.

"Um, Phil and I put your things in our - our bedroom, just so you know," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. Our bedroom. I can't help but repeat the words over and over again in my mind, and the way he stumbled over the words, I know he's thinking the same thing.

"Um..." I realize I'm just going to come out and say it. After all, I promised Brice. "Um, so, what was it you were trying to tell me yesterday?"

By the expression on his face, I can tell he was really hoping I would forget. However, he obviously would've known I wouldn't.

"Um, well, I..." He sighs heavily, as trying to gain his composure. "Um, I can't think of a better way to say this, except to just, y'know, say it. And, um, I don't know how you feel, but I'm...I...I'm still in love with you."

Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

Dan's POV

Holyshitholyshitholyshit.

If she feels the same way, I'm going to feel fucking amazing. If she doesn't, I'm going to hate myself for the rest of my life.

Why did I have to say 'in love?' Why can't I just be a normal fucking person, and say 'want to be with you,' or even 'I love you?'

Your POV

My heart soars, and the shock immediately becomes plastered all over my face. However, I couldn't be any happier.

By the look on his face, I can tell the tension is eating him alive, and I can't help but laugh, which only confuses him further.

"Fucks sake, Dan, it took you that long to just blurt that out?" I tease him, and he rolls his eyes.

"Bloody hell, can you just give me a straight answer before I have a fucking anxiety attack?" He grumbles, but gives me a nervous smile, and, fucks sake, I can't hold myself back anymore.

I walk toward him, and without a second though, throw my arms around his neck and smash my lips against his.

I really fucking needed this.

Fireworks explode in my chest, and he grabs my hips, pulling me closer to him as he kisses me back, hard. My body still aches from my injuries, but they're drowned out by the adrenaline pumping through my veins.

He spins me around, pushing me against the wall, and I forget everything going on around me all at once. We have so much time to make up for.

Running my fingers through his hair, a gasp escapes my lips as his cool hands run under my shirt and pressing against my bare hips, pushing me into the the wall. I giggle against his lips, which seems to knock him over the edge.

Our kiss becomes passionately sloppy, and as he pushes against my lips, it becomes more laughter than kissing, because I feel so desperately in love and I have no idea what to do with the emotion forcing itself out of me. My mind spins a million miles a second and I don't care where I am or how much time we have, because this could be my last five minutes on earth, and I couldn't think of a better way to be spending it.

However, our moment is cut short, as someone clears their throat beside us. Dan and I quickly separate, and intense heat rises to my cheeks as I see Dodie and Phil standing in the entrance to the lounge. Phil looks incredibly awkward, yet Dodie stands in front of him, her arms crossed against her chest and a smirk painted in her face.

"When you said you didn't want to just sit at home, this isn't what I thought you meant," she breaks the silent snarkily, but I know she's just joking around.

"I've been gone for over a month, what did you expect?" I retort sassily, making her laugh.

"Well, if you're done sucking each other's faces off, Phil and I are ready to head out." She turns on her heel, walking down the hallway. Phil clears his throat awkwardly, before following after her, and I turn to Dan, shrugging. We laugh nervously, before he kisses me once more on the forehead, and we follow Dodie and Phil.

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The end of this chapter makes me so happyyyy. Also, I may be going on a date with a very cute guy sometime next weekend, and although I'm not totally sure yet, I'll keep my fingers crossed. Also, I edited this in marching band because our section doesn't have enough sheet music, so you can thank my high school for being cheap as fuck with the arts program. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please vote and maybe even follow if you did, and I'll see you all later! 💜