The next week goes by in a haze. Making videos, calls with Dan either early in the morning or late at night, hanging out with Dodie and her friends.

Day 22: Lyon, France

Dan is in fucking France. What the actual hell.

I spent the first ten years of my life fantasizing about going to Paris. I would read books about Paris, I had drawings taped all over the moldy walls I shared with my family, I even tried to teach myself French. Now I honestly couldn't care less about the city, but the fact that it was something I could hold onto in my childhood, something that helped me survive, gives it a novelty I couldn't find anywhere else. I know Lyon isn't anywhere near Paris, but that doesn't get rid of the heavy weight sitting in my stomach.

I pull my knees to my chest as I sit in bed, listening to Dodie singing and playing her ukulele from the other side of the wall. I start dissociating, my emotions floating out of the room. I don't even know where this came from, but I let it happen. I don't try to ground myself, because sometimes I need a break from my emotions, anyway. So I don't do anything, not even move. Invisible cotton stuffs itself in my ear. I feel like giving up. Giving up what, I don't know. I just don't want to be here.

Day 23: Ghent, Belgium

"One week!" Dodie shouts as I step out of the bathroom, wet hair dripping down my back. I love the time straight out of the shower, when I get a big whiff of shampoo every time I move my head.

"Finally," I sigh. I know Dan and Phil's gonna be back in Manchester in five days, but they won't be in London until the next day, and I won't be able to see him until after the show, which won't be until late at night.

"Do you think the London show is sold out?" Dodie asks.

"Um, I don't know, why?" A wicked grin spreads on her face, and I'm incredibly confused. "What is it?"

She can't stop grinning, which only makes me smile. "Okay, so, I kinda know they're manager. So, maybe I could speak to him, and maybe we could buy tickets to the show, and at the end, maybe he can arrange for us to meet Dan and Phil as they exit the stage. It would have to be where none of the fans can see us, because we don't want to spread anything, but, I dunno, it was just an idea." She sounds a little dejected at the end, but my smile only seems to be getting bigger.

"That's amazing!" I nearly shout, causing the grin to reappear on her face. "I'll look on the sight for tickets, and you text or call their manager."

She looks at me, and let's out a little squeal before going on her phone. As she's calling him, I go on the website. Luckily, the show's not sold out, and I purchase two tickets, right in the middle toward the front row. I would've bought front seat tickets, but I don't want Dan to know we're there until the end.

"Okay," Dodie claps her hands together. "He's totally down with it, thanks to my charming personality." I can't help but laugh. "So, about ten minutes before the end of the show, we'll have to leave the audience. We'll meet him in some hallway right by the entrance, and he'll bring us backstage."

"Ah! This is gonna be so fun!" I can't help but hop on my heels, excitement pumping through me.

"I know!" She shouts. "Ah!"

~~~~
Day 26: Amsterdam, Netherlands

The next few days feel like an eternity. Every conversation feels like stepping on eggshells, as I have to try with all my might to keep the secret. Luckily, I'm good at being sneaky, but I'm starting to worry about Dodie, as she's starting to avoid talking to Phil. She's only doing it to lower the chances of blurting it out, but according to Dan, Phil thinks she's mad at him, or something.

"I dunno, he's just worried that something's going on, but every time he asks about it, she changes the subject," Dan explains to me as we FaceTime, late at night. "It's just really stressing him out."

"Well, tell him from me, who's literally around Dodie twenty-four seven, that it really has nothing to do with him," I say. "I think she's just been really tired lately, and seeing Phil when she can't actually, like, see him, is probably just upsetting for her."

"That's what I've been trying to tell him, but he can't seem to get it through his head."

"Well, you guys will be back in less than a week, and then he'll finally be able to see that everything's a-okay."

Dan gives me a small smile. "I'm so excited to see you. I wish they could let us go home right after Manchester, like we would usually do, but there's some sort of even planned that night, and I guess it's not possible."

"It's fine," I reply soothingly. "As long as I get to finally see you, I don't care. One day isn't going to make or break me."

"I wish I could bring you here," he sighs. "Amsterdam's beautiful, I know you'd love it."

I only shrug. "Maybe someday."

June 29: Manchester, UK

"I can't wait until tomorrow!" I'm on the phone with Dan, who's currently raving about coming home tomorrow night. I can't help smile at him as he acts like an idiot, thinking about how he's going to react tomorrow nights

"I just hate that I can't see you until, like, hours after the show," he says. "We have to sign so many contracts even after the event, and help take everything down, and have a few final meetings with the business that's managing the event. All that boring stuff."

"Uh, huh," is all I say, not wanting to open my mouth, in fear of exposing my secret.

He gives me a weird look. "What is it?" He asks.

"Huh, nothing," I reply. I have a huge grin on my face, making him laugh. "I'm just really happy."

June 30: London, UK

The day's finally here. I barely slept a wink last night, and neither did Dodie, so we get large coffees early in the morning, knowing we have a long day in front of us. I don't even know if I need the coffee, as the adrenaline already running through me should definitely be enough. However, the caffeine is just a precaution.

Dodie buys each of us a muffin, but I can't even think about eating it, the nerves filling my stomach. Dodie's forcing me to go shopping, as she wants to find the perfect black and white outfit to match the show.

I settle on a leather miniskirt with a zipper on the front, along with a lacy crop top and knee high boots. I plan on buying a shirt before the show, as we're getting there really early, and I'll probably tuck it into the skirt. Dodie goes with a vintage denim skirt, belt, and cardigan, planning to buy a shirt to wear underneath.

It's only noon, and we have no idea what to do. Although the show doesn't start until seven, we plan on getting there around four thirty, and meet with their manager to make a game plan.

We get lunch at some fancy vegan place, which burns about an hour of our time. I'm filled with that anxious feeling you get when you can't wait for something to happen, like a child waiting for their parents to wake up on Christmas. However, I'm starting to think this is even better than Christmas.

Finally, after spending the last two hours doing absolutely nothing except watching Netflix and pacing around the apartment, we decide to get ready. I pull on my outfit, put my hair in messy curls, and do my makeup.

Dodie comes in as I spray my face with setting spray, and we decide to head out. We pull over a taxi, and slide in.

"Do you have the tickets?" She asks, scrolling through her phone.

"Yeah, they're on my phone," I reply. "Where are we supposed to meet their manager?"

"He said he'll meet us right as we enter," she answers. Dodie and I look at each other, and after about two silent seconds, with both burst into unexplainable laughter. I see the driver give us a weird look in the rear view mirror, and I only laugh harder.

We arrive at the venue, pay the taxi driver, and step out. Of course, even with it being three hours before the show starts, it's already pretty crowded, mainly with VIP ticket holders. We somehow squeeze through the crowd, and get in line.

"This is fucking crazy," I breathe, taking in the jam-packed lobby. Of course Dan and Phil have an enormous following, and this is only a small fraction of it, but it's still taking my breath away.

After around thirty minutes, which definitely isn't as long as I though it would take, we reach the front of the line. The security dude scans my phone twice, and we walk through.

"Hey, there!" A portly young man, around his thirties, walks toward us, a smile glowing on his face.

"Hey, Andrew," Dodie greets him, shaking had hand. "Long time, no see."

"And you must be (y/n)," he say, turning to me and shaking my hand. "It's great to finally meet you. Now, should we get out of this crowd?" I nod hurriedly, not wanting to stand in this crowd for a moment longer. Dodie and I follow him through the rest of the lobby. He scans some sort of card next to a door, and steps in, entering a sort of scary hallway. We keep walking, until finally reaching a small room.

"So, what's the plan?" Dodie asks.

"Well, I was figuring, we'd get you into your seats once it's already pretty full, so Dan and Phil don't notice you. Toward the end of the show, they do a sort of performance, so there's no chance they'll see you as we sneak you out. We'll have you out about ten minutes before the show ends, giving us enough time to get you back stage."

"How will we know when to leave?" I ask, wringing my hands together.

"Dodie has my number, so I'll text you," he says to her. "The show ends around nine, so make sure you start checking your phone around 8:40," he explains.

"Okie dokie," Dodie says. "We also want to get some merch before the show, do you think we still have time?"

"Well, Dan and Phil might be out in the lobby, for the meet and greet and such, so we don't want them to see you," Andrew says, and I feel my face drop. "However, we do have a bit of extra merch in the back, and since I like you guys, you can have your pick of anything for free." He smiles broadly.

Dodie and I exchange looks, and shrug or shoulders. "Okay."

He leads us to another back room, a sort of waiting room filled with boxes of all the different merch. "Take whatever you please."

Dodie and I each pick out a different shirt, ripping off the tags and pulling them over our heads. I pull a couple bracelets on my wrist, and put one of each of the Dan and Phil plushies into my bag. I look around the room, and see a full-sized mirror on one of the walls. Standing up, I tuck in my shirt and cuff the sleeves, checking myself out and making sure my makeup still looks fine.

"Don't worry, you look perfect," Dodie shouts over her shoulder, still shuffling through the boxes.

"I have to go do some stuff before the show, but you guys can wait in here, and either I or someone else will get you and bring you to the show," Andrew says.

"Thank you!" Dodie and I both yell in unison as he leaves, chuckling as he closes the door. I sit on one of the small sofas, my legs shaking mindlessly, when Dodie suddenly throws a sweatshirt at me.

"Have this, it'll look cute on you," she says, still looking through the boxes. "There's a lot more merch in here that they weren't even advertising. It must be stuff they had made, but didn't end up as a final design."

I roll my eyes, laughing. Why are all my friends weirdos?

Finally, a small girl with pink hair and a headset in her ear walks in. "Hi, my names Emily," she greets us in a sweet voice. "Are you guys ready?"

"Yup," I answer, both Dodie and us standing up as I throw my bag on. I was expecting to be led right back through the lobby, but instead, she takes us through some sort of secret hallway, finally coming to a door with a small window that I see looks out to the audience. I can hear a melody of voices coming through the wall, and anxiety starts filling me. I know I'm gonna love the show, but just the thought of that many people sort of freaks me out.

"You guys go out here, and that row right next to the door, go down that, and you'll find your seats," she tells us, swiping a card to unlock the door. I nod, and as the door swings open, the sound of be voices magnifies. Dodie and I hurriedly run down the aisle, finally finding our seats right in the middle. The girl next to me gives me a funny look, but doesn't say anything.

Only about five seconds as our butts touch the seats, lights start flying around the room, and I'm sure the show is about to start as everyone starts cheering, leaving a ringing in my ears. The lights suddenly all turn toward the stage, and Dan and Phil come running out, my voice hitching me in my throat. I start cheering as well, yelling with the crowd as Dodie lets out an almost ear splitting whistle.

Dan's dressed in black skinny jeans, and a black sweater with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, his hair curly and windswept.

The show starts, including a sort of Q and A, Dan even getting deep, and Phil's very own diss track. I nearly have an anxiety attack as I think Dan locks eyes with me, but he looks away quick enough, and his expression not even changing lets me breathe again. I'm pretty sure there would've been sort of expression if he had noticed me.

I lose myself in the show, completely forgetting we were supposed to be leaving early. Dan and Phil are about to start some sort of finishing performance, and I cheer along with the crowd, until I'm brought back to my senses when Dodie taps on my shoulder. I look at her, before realizing it's time to go.

We stand up and hurriedly shuffle through the crowd, ignoring the angry muffles coming from the people we pass in front of. The door opens the second we get to it, the girl from before greeting us.

"Follow me, I'll bring you to backstage." For someone so small, she walks super fast, and I feel like I'm basically running to keep up with her. We run down multiple hallways, and a small flight of stairs, until we're in an exposed area with light controls and all the people behind the scene. As we turn the corner, I see the sides of Dan and Phil, dancing. I let it a little laugh, kind of wishing I could really see the performance.

"You guys are gonna stand behind here," she says, pointing to a wall. "We'll tells you guys when the show's about to end, and you can come out."

"Okie dokie," I reply. She gives us a wide grin, then shuffles away. My hands shake as my heartbeat increases, to the point that I'm scared of having an anxiety attack. However, I take a few deep breaths, and hold Dodie's arm to keep me steady. I have no reason to be anxious, this is just excitement. I close my eyes, trust no to keep myself calm.

Suddenly, my eyes snap open as thunderous applause and cheering comes from the audience, and Dodie yanks me out from behind the wall.

Dan and Phil wave to the audience as they exit the stage, but of them grinning ear to ear, and I feel myself mirroring their expression. They each pull out their earpieces, handing them to a crew member.

"Oh, my, God, I can't believe it's over," Phil sighs, rubbing his eyes.

"Yeah, it's kinda surr-" Dan starts, but never finishes his sentence as his eyes finally land on me, and I let out a laugh as his eyes grow to the size of golf balls.

"What?" Phil questions, turning to look at whatever Dan's staring at, having the same reaction as him. Dodie squeezes my arm one last time before letting go, and everything seems to go in slow motion, everything disappearing around us as I basically get tunnel vision, Dan and I the only people in existence.

I start walking toward him, laughing at the shocked, joyful expression on his face, until I can't hold back anymore, and run toward him. I let out a mix between a laugh and a sob, tears stinging my eyes as I bury my face in his chest. The second I run into him, he wraps his arms around me and lifts me off the ground, twirling around. I feel like I'm in a movie as he sets me back down on my feet, and even in my high heeled boots, I have to balance on my toes for my lips to reach his. His warm hands grab my face. I wrap my arms even tighter around his neck, trig to eliminate the imaginary space between us.

Our kiss splits apart, and I place my head on his heart, listening to it it's rapid beating as he places his lips on the top of my hair. His chest is heaving slightly, both of us gasping.

Dan bends his head down slightly until I can feel his warm breath against my ear, and says something that makes my heart skip a beat.

"This is why I've fallen in love with you."
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I'm very tired as I haven't been home in like a week and a half and author's notes are boring anyway so I'll keep this short and sweet. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I've been having writers block the last few days, but this was actually really fun to write. If you liked this chapter, please vote, comment, or follow me maybe lol. See you later! 💜