𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵

After scaling the drainpipe up to Ember's room for what could've be the last time, I climbed into her room once she opened the window. My eyes were instantly drawn to the packed bags near her wardrobe.

"How are you doing?" I asked tentatively.

"As expected." She hugged her arms around her body and stared at her suitcases sadly.

"I'm sorry for just showing up out of the blue... Do you want me to stay?" I questioned and seriously hoped she'd say yes.

"Of course, I'm glad you're here with me. I want you to stay." Dragging her eyes away from her bags as I did the same, Ember smiled softly at me. "Why wouldn't I?"

Oh, I don't know, maybe because tomorrow we're going to end up on separate continents and not see each other for who knows how long and I'm not sure how well a long-distance relationship would work out between us, what with you learning to control your power and me searching for a group of people who have been kidnapped and aren't all alive?

"No reason." I shrugged and pushed off my shoes.

"I've missed you." Ember stepped closer to me.

"What do you mean? I'm right here," I told her. "I haven't been anywhere."

"No, I know." She stepped closer to me again, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I just missed you like this."

She brought her lips to mine and joy blossomed within me when our lips touched — all feelings of loneliness and numbness vanished like mist in front of the sun.

All I needed, all I wanted was her.

She pushed off my coat and pulled my hoodie over my head. Our bodies wrapped around each other easily, my hands in her hair, her hands on my back, our lips pressed so tightly together, our tongues dancing in each other's mouths.

Ember broke the kiss, and both of us stood there struggling to catch our breath as we stared at each other.

She's so beautiful.

Her wavy, dirty blonde hair hung messily around her shoulders, her dark-blue eyes were alight with passion, and her lips were smiling at me.

"What are you staring at?" Her smile quickly turned to a frown, "Have I got something on my face?"

"No, you haven't. I'm just staring at how beautiful you are," I admitted.

"Oh, shut up!" She pushed at my chest.

"I'm serious," I insisted and grabbed her hand that tried to push me.

She rolled her eyes, grinning. "Whatever."

I pulled her close to me again, but before I could kiss her, she took my hand and led me to her bed.

"You know this could be the last time that we—"

"Shh, Em," I shushed her, pressing my lips against her. I didn't want her to start talking and start complicating things. Because I knew damn well that this could be the last time that we were together like this for a long while, I just didn't want to hear those words aloud.

"Okay," she murmured to me and kissed me back.

And suddenly I was getting hotter and hotter under her touch, I was burning up with desire for her, for her body. Sitting up, I quickly dragged my t-shirt over my head, before hovering over Ember again. Our lips were together in an instant, with no hesitation whatsoever. My hands crept up her oversized t-shirt to pull it off her.

"You're so sexy, Ember," I told her honestly as I took in the sight of her body lying below me.

"As are you." Ember sat up and rolled me over so she was on top. She began leaving hot, sweet kisses down my neck, then my chest and abs, stopping just below my navel to unzip and pull down my jeans.

Okay, time to get back on top. I rolled us over, switching me back on top.

Fingers trailing across her hot skin, my mind temporarily froze; numbness threatening again.

"What's the matter?" Em leaned up to me, one hand on the side of my face.

"Nothing," I lied, swallowing back the rising guilt. "I'm fine."

"If you don't want to touch me anymore, I understand." She pressed her lips together.

"No, I do want to touch you." I insisted, 'cos I still did... 'cos I still could. "I want to touch you so bad."

"Touch me then."

Squashing my lips against hers in semi-desperation, I kissed her. I kissed her hard. With one hand on her neck and the other on her breast, I felt her. Her legs wrapped around my waist and pulled me to her — our bodies lying pressed together and our legs tangling.

She groaned slightly against my lips, and I kissed her harder.

Oh my God, I'm losing control — I could tell that my eyes had changed. She's making me lose control.

"Theo, open your eyes." She pulled away from the kiss.

Obligingly, I opened them, and I saw the Phoenix flowing around her body.

I told her, "You're making me lose control a little."

"That's okay." She nodded firmly and fixed her eyes on mine. "I trust you. What do you see?"

"What do you mean 'what do I see'?" I repeated, nuzzling the side of her neck with elongated kisses, but I knew exactly what she meant.

"What do you see when you look at me with those eyes?" She clarified.

"The Phoenix," I told her. "Your Phoenix."

"I know." Ember smiled weakly at me. "But, right now, none of that matters. The only thing that matters is you. And, right now, all I want is you. So, lose control over me." Her grin became daring as she ran her hands down my chest. "I want you to lose control."

"It could be dangerous," I warned lightly, planting kisses on her ear and sucking on her earlobe.

"I—" Her breath caught as I bit slightly on the soft flesh of her ear. "I don't care."

"Fine." I breathed back, kissing her lips intensely.

"Theo," she interrupted. What now? "I don't want to... go all the way."

"That's also fine," I told her. "I don't want to either."

Even though I was desperate for her, in my heart of hearts, I knew that going all the way would make leaving so much harder on both of us. And it was already going to be pretty damn tough.

"Thank you." She blushed. "Maybe some other time...?"

"Maybe." I didn't know when or if there would be 'some other time.'

"I lo—" Ember began before she shut her mouth and looked away.

Was that nearly what I think it was? Was that nearly those three little words that I want her to say but am dreading at the same time?

I think they were, but I dropped it. She wasn't ready — that's okay, I won't rush her.

"I'm sorry, Theo. I — I don't want to complicate things," she explained, but I was unsure what she was talking about — the fact she didn't want to go all the way or the fact she almost said she loves me.

Does she love me?

"Things are already complicated." I pointed out, nuzzling the side of her neck.

"Please can we just forget about tomorrow?" Ember pouted, pulling my lips to hers.

I nodded against her cheek and kissed her passionately — like it would be the last ever time I would kiss her and touch her. She wrapped her legs around my waist and our bodies pressed firmly together — Ember moaned lightly as my crotch grazed against hers.

Gripping onto her thighs, I left kisses down her neck and along her cleavage — stopping myself from going any further down, aware of how neither of us wanted to go all the way. I tried to imprint the memory of her skin in my mind; this could be the last time...

"Oh my God, Theo," Ember whispered breathily, her eyes rolling back. She then flipped us over and sat in my lap — instantly beginning to grind against me.

"Ember?" Her mom knocked on the door, and Em and I looked at each other with wide eyes, both of us frozen in place.

"Yeah, Mum?" She replied.

"I just wanted to make sure you're getting to sleep — you've got a long flight tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know, Mum. I was just getting to sleep when you knocked," Em lied.

"Okay. Well, I have some last-minute things for you to pack here, like your toothbrush, your body wash—"

"Just leave them outside, Mum. I'll get them in the morning." Ember bit her lip, worried, as I was, that her mom was gonna burst in on us. It wouldn't exactly be the best first impression to make on my girlfriend's mom.

It could be the last impression. Everything seems to be the last moment with Em right now...

Her mom hesitated. "Okay, darling. But make sure you're getting to sleep."

"Yep, I will. 'Night, Mum." Ember climbed off me. "I should probably get some sleep now."

Narrowing my eyes, I realised she'd said I and not we.

"I guess I should get back to Saint Francis," I said half-heartedly though I hoped she would ask me to stay.

She pulled her t-shirt back on and turned away from me. "Will you hold me? At least for a little while?"

"Of course." I couldn't even attempt to hide the joy in my voice or the smile on my face.

But Ember didn't turn around again — she'd already fallen asleep.

Settling down beside her, I curled my arm protectively over her body; knowing all too well I wouldn't be able to protect her from whatever challenges came next in her life. I kissed her softly on her cheek and briefly closed my eyes and pretended like I could stay with her for the rest of the night — like I could watch the sunrise with her, and everything would turn out alright and we wouldn't have to leave one another.

Thinking like that is pointless, a cynical voice in my head reminded me. I waited until she was sound asleep and then I slipped back out the window.

Disorientated after a run back to Saint Francis and a night of strangely peaceful sleep, I had no idea what time it was by the time I woke up again. The clock on my wall read: 11:30.

"Shit!" I exclaimed and my mind raced; Ember left Lake Oldoy for Bridstain an hour and a half ago — and her plane is leaving in two and a half hours.

I seriously needed to get my shit together if I was gonna catch her at the airport before she left. There was no choice but to see her one last time before she left; I wouldn't last long on my own if I didn't.

Throwing on a set of fresh clothes, I grabbed my packed duffel bag and sprinted downstairs. I realised that this moment could've been the last time I was in that house — the last time I saw Lis and Neal.

I glanced around at the house — I wouldn't miss it much; it held no memories, not in the way a real home does.

But what would I know about a 'real home' anyway, right?

I'd miss Lis... Neal? Not so much. I know I'd been lucky to find them, but he hadn't lived up to the 'fatherly figure' expectations I had in mind. No one had lived up to those since my actual dad died seven years earlier.

I had a semi-plan, for the rest of the day at least: first, I'd run over to Kaden's caravan and see him, say goodbye and everything. Second, I'd try and catch a train or a bus or whatever into Bridstain, hopefully before Ember left for Svalbard, and say goodbye and everything. Then I'd wait at Bridstain Airport until my flight left for Georgia, and I'd leave the UK.

I had a lot to do in a short space of time.

"Lis!" I called out to what felt like an empty house before Lis appeared from the kitchen. I rushed over to her. "Lis, I've not got a lot of time, but I have to go now."

"I know." She nodded kindly. I never noticed how kind she was until then; I'd been too blinded by my hate for Neal and the Agency to see how she'd been on my side the entire time, even if it wasn't always obvious.

"Thank you." I swallowed. "For everything."

She blinked back tears. I pulled her into a hug, saying goodbye.

"Texts, calls, emails, postcards, letters — if you need me, Theo, I'll be here." She patted my back. "We're staying in Saint Francis, we're going to try and make a life here. I'll get Neal out of the Agency's involvement and we'll make a real life this time."

"Okay, thanks." I stepped away. "I'm happy for you."

Lis answered my question before I'd even opened my mouth, "No, Neal's not home. But I'll tell him you thanked him as well."

I nodded, pulling my duffel over my shoulder. "I don't think I can thank you enough."

"Just go already." She smiled and walked me to the door. "Oh, and I've sorted out everything with school, I'll email you any work they send me for you."

"Thanks." I nodded again, already thinking yeah, I'm not doing any of that... "Goodbye, Lis," I said one last time.

"Goodbye, Theo." She kept on smiling and watched me walk away from the house and up into the forest.

I didn't look back, not once.

She shut the door only when I was totally out of sight of the house.

I exhaled heavily.

Now onto the next heavy, heartfelt goodbye. Though I hoped Kaden didn't shed any tears. I also hoped that when I got there that he would be wearing clothes, unlike last time.

"Hey, Theo!" Halia grinned as I showed up at the caravan, "You're leaving today, aren't you?"

I quickly figured out that Wednesday must've let her know, as I hadn't had a chance to tell anyone other than Ember. Well, at least Halia's wearing clothes, I reminded myself as she folded her cardigan around herself.

"You're leaving?" Kaden echoed, stepping out of his caravan with messy hair as if he'd only just woken up.

"Yeah, I'm heading back to the States tonight." I shifted, noting the drop in Kaden's mood. "I gotta go look for my pack, man."

"I thought I was your pack," he whimpered slightly.

Oh God, he was like a puppy I'd just picked up and saved from the middle of the freeway, and now he didn't want to let me go anywhere without him.

"He has to," Halia told Kaden, resting her hand on his arm.

"Why today?" Kaden's eyes narrowed at me. "Why all of a sudden? Why can't it wait?"

"All of a sudden?" It was my turn to echo his words incredulously. "My pack went missing nearly six months ago. And as far as I knew, they were all dead. Then Halia here tells me almost exactly where I can find them — so that's why now."

"Oh."

"Look, Kaden," I told him, "I didn't come here to fight. I came to say goodbye."

"I shall leave you two. I will tell Wednesday and Al that you said goodbye but did not have enough time to see them — they will understand." Halia rushed, "Goodbye Theo, I hope you find your pack." She briefly threw her arms around me before running off, stripping off her clothes and diving into the lake.

"Do you know how long you'll be?" Kaden folded his arms.

"No idea," I admitted honestly, "That's why I'm here now."

"You'll be back though, right?" He frowned.

Not answering, I hugged him and patted him on the back.

"See you later, Kaden," I said. "You've been a good friend."

"You've been one of my only friends." He gulped audibly.

I stepped away from him, warning jokingly, "You better not go crying on me now, Kaden Bowers."

"No chance. Why would I cry over a jerk like you?" He joked back, sniffling a little.

"See you later," I repeated and walked off into the woods, heading towards Lake Oldoy so that I could find some way to get to Bridstain before Ember boarded her plane.

I didn't look back at Kaden, but I could feel his eyes burning the back of my neck.

I hoped he'd be okay whilst I was gone. Sure, he had Halia looking out for him as well now — but that nagging doubt about him had returned at the back of my mind.

Coming back from the dead always has a consequence, the same way that killing does — it takes a small piece of your soul. I just hoped that Kaden's soul would remain intact for as long as possible. Or that he didn't get possessed at all.

Well, they do say that all good things come to an end, I thought bleakly.

Once I was on a train from Lake Oldoy to Bridstain, I attempted to avoid counting the minutes until Ember left — the minutes that I had left until she was gone. Watching Lake Oldoy go flashing by through the window, I silently said goodbye to the town as well. I'd miss the woods, the lake. I wouldn't miss Challis High School, that's for sure.

Looking back, the only good thing about Lake Oldoy to start with had been Ember, and then her friends. I'd searched out my 'friend in the fire', as Storm had told me to, and Ember had helped me stay hopeful for my pack's sake. Ember had given me a reason to keep living and not to hand myself over to the hunters.

I was grateful to her in ways she'd never understand.

Now, both Ember and I were leaving — leaving behind everything that we'd come to know about life in Lake Oldoy. I guessed it would've been harder for her than for me, as I'd already left my life behind already.

Good thing I knew how to live in a suitcase — or a duffel bag, more precisely.

Closing my eyes and leaning my head against the window of the train, I let the gentle rocking and rhythmical sound of the train guide me to sleep.

I jerked awake as soon as I felt the train stop, springing out of my seat and already heading out onto the platform. I all but sprinted through the airport — using the Fast Track pass Lis had bought me to bypass the queues through security and passport control.

After I got through the necessary safety protocols, I slung my duffel bag back over my shoulder and searched the airport departure boards for Svalbard. Flight 137, Terminal 3. I glanced at my phone, it was 13:32, and there were several messages and two missed calls from Neal.

But Ember was my only priority at that moment.

I'm coming Ember, I'm coming.

I rushed towards the third terminal, ignoring all the suspicious looks I was getting.

"Ember!" I shouted to her when I saw her, the anticipation of seeing her one last time making me ignorant to any judgemental onlookers.

"Theo?" Ember smiled, a little confused, setting down her magazine. "What the hell are you doing here?" She jumped up and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I had to say goodbye before you left." I wrapped my arms tighter around her waist.

She's alone, I realised. I would've thought that her parents might've been here to see her off. But I guess not. "You're on your own?" I frowned, voicing my thoughts.

"Yup." She rocked back on her heels — the way Kaden often does — as she lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "Gotta get used to the inevitable individuality somehow."

"I will miss you so much," I told her, not taking my eyes off her like she'd disappear if I did.

"I'll miss you too, Theo." Her smile crumpled slightly with sadness.

"You can text or call whenever you want," I informed her, "Just don't forget that they'll be like seven- or eight-hour time difference."

"I know." She nodded and pressed her lips together. "But, Theo, I don't think I can do a long-distance relationship. Not with everything that I need to do in Svalbard and you need to do in America. It'll be too hard on both of us."

For a breakup speech, it wasn't too bad. Mostly because I agreed with what she was saying. Truth rang in her words and I nodded in agreement — though not eagerly.

We may not be together but having to leave her is still breaking my heart.

"Same here," I admitted.

"Phew!" She let out a laugh of relief — everything about Ember Hestia Milburn offered a bright beam of sunlight in my rapidly darkening world. "I was worried that wasn't gonna go so well."

"So, friends until next time?" I suggested, hoping that there would be a next time — hoping that we would see each other again one day.

"Until next time." She agreed. She was still smiling, but now it seemed like the smile was frozen on her face.

Well, that had to have been probably one of the easiest breakups in my life, right? Wrong, because I still loved her, and I still wanted... needed to tell her that.

"Flight 137 to Longyear Airport, Svalbard, is now boarding," a voice announced over the tannoy system.

The laughter and smiles slumped off Em's face while the dark closed in on me again. "That's me."

"I know." I nodded, standing up with her as she grabbed her bags. "Em, I..."

"What is it?" She turned to me, and I could feel time slipping through my fingers like silk. The clock was running down and at that moment, it felt like the rest of my life would be defined by what I did or didn't say.

Just say it, Theo! Spit it out already — tell her how you feel before it's too late!

I pressed my lips against hers, kissing her desperately; who knew when or if we'd see each other again?

Pulling away from her, I finally said, "I love you."

Ember's face crumpled slightly, and she wrapped her arms around me in a hug.

"You sure know how to complicate things, don't you, Theo Aquila?" She huffed, wrapping her arms around me tighter. "That's gonna make it so much harder for me to leave now."

I swallowed. "I had to tell you."

"I know." She smiled weakly, stepping away from me.

"This is the last call for boarding Flight 137 to Longyear Airport, Svalbard," the voice declared, interrupting anything else that could've passed between me and Ember.

"I have to go now," Ember said, picked up her bags and walked off.

Tears prickled the edges of my eyes (shut up).

She didn't say it back.

Please turn around, I willed as she walked further and further away. But she didn't turn around — no 'one last look back' like you see in movies or read in books. At least now I knew what it was like to have someone you love walk away from you without looking backwards. Now I know how painful it truly is.

She didn't say it back.

I kept watching her until the crowds swallowed her and I couldn't see her messy, dark blonde hair any longer. Then I turned and found my way to the terminal where my flight to Atlanta was leaving in a handful of hours.

Staring ahead of me, I don't think I could've felt emptier. I curled up on the seat, resting my head against my duffel bag and closed my eyes — shutting out everything, letting sleep pass the time.

I woke up half an hour before my flight was due to start boarding, leaving me enough time to grab something to eat and drink. I sure had done a lot of sleeping that day — I guess it was just because I was emotionally drained. Though no matter how much sleep I got, I was still tired as hell. Tired of all of this.

She didn't say it back.

"Flight 173 to Atlanta, Georgia, is now boarding," the voice announced through the speakers just as I was finishing my sandwich.

Wearily, I picked up my bag and dragged myself toward the boarding area, dreading the 12-hour flight across the North Atlantic Ocean.

Time was slipping away from me again because before I'd fully woken up, I was already sitting in my window seat of the plane. I'd tossed my duffel bag carelessly into the overhead locker above me without a second thought.

"This is your captain speaking, it's a beautiful day of..." The captain began, and I zoned out.

Yeah, it's a beautiful day for heartbreak, alright.

"We have a 12 hours and 30 minutes flight from Bridstain Airport, UK — all the way to Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, Georgia, USA, with a stop off at..."

A stop off at hell.

"Until then, sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight."

Yeah, not likely.

I was becoming more and more cynical by the second.

She didn't say it back.

Ember didn't love me, maybe she never did, maybe she never would. I must've judged everything wrong — all those scents of attraction had been nothing more than that, there were no deeper feelings involved.

How could you do this to me, Ember?

I thought it was love, but I guess I was wrong.

Why can't anything go right for me? Does everything that happens to me have to end so... so wrong?

I was hurting bad.

Heartbreak isn't supposed to be fun, I know that much, but I never thought it would be that bad. That painful. That... lonely.

It felt like I'd lost my pack all over again; it was the same pain. Only that the pain I'd felt for the loss of nine people I'd known and lived with was felt just as keenly with one person that I'd fallen in love with.

But it wasn't just her that I was leaving behind: there was Kaden, Halia, Wednesday, Al... Maybe I had lost my pack all over again. They'd become almost as close as a pack.

Yet, there I was, leaving again.

Maybe I'm solely destined to be an Omega, the lone wolf, the thought tore through my mind and heart. But I brushed it away, knowing that I had to find my pack regardless of whether or not I was meant to be an Omega.

Inside the plane, the air was already starting to get recycled, and the droning sound of white noise was starting to irritate me. Well, I'd have 12 hours more of irritation to deal with.

Looking out through my window, where everything seemed so much more peaceful, I saw the shimmering blue-green ocean far below me. Clouds brushed the plane's wings as carelessly as blossoming trees.

Is Ember looking out the window the same way as me?

A sickening feeling of déjà vu rushed through me, and I had to grip the edge of the seat. With a jolt, I realised that I was right back where I started — I was alone.

Alone, alone, alone.

𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝟏

~~~