Chapter 8: I've found
Myself

The past few weeks of my life have been shaky

Cameron found a beautiful brunette and forgot all about me, and I've found Justin. My senior year is slowly coming to an end and everything just seems so intense. Out of order. Although Justin is a really big part of my life I just can't get over the connection I had with Cameron.

But then I remembered that it was all fake

A game.

But this is my life. Just two months until graduation and I have no idea what to do with myself

But hey that's just how it goes.

I sit at my usual spot at lunch with Ariana and just talk about life. She's valedictorian this year so she's been freaking out about the perfect speech. While I've just been busy with what to eat for dinner. Perfect BFF goals

"Okay how about this.' And don't forget to pick the path that you always wanted' " Ariana says with a questionable voice

I laugh

"That sounds almost as pathetic as my life" I joke. Actually not a joke, my life is pretty pathetic

"Whoever said this type of thing was easy!" Ariana yells in frustration. She pops a cherry in her mouth before going back to her speech

"Can we talk?" Was the next thing that I hear.

I looked up

Cameron.

My first instinct  was the slap him, or yell at him, but instead I didn't. I just sat there, looking dumb founded

"she doesn't want to talk to you, jerk." Ariana says in a threatening tone

"look-" Cameron starts

"no, you look. You broke my best friends heart. You were lip locking with some brunette with horrible split ends, not to mention her tacky choice of taste, and I don't just mean her clothes"  Ariana yells.

See this is why I love my Bestie. She will snap on anyone for me, and she isn't afraid to cuss you out and make you feel like nothing if needed to. Not to mention her comebacks are super hilarious.

but I do something that I might regret later.

I stood up, grabbed Cameron by the hand and left the cafeteria. We went to a place where nobody was and I listen. Maybe I did it for closer, or maybe a part of me still wanted him. I played his game blindingly and I lost miserably. I never thought for a moment that I was ever falling for Cameron, but I obviously did. And to him he felt nothing.

"speak" I say with my arms crossed.

"first off, I don't want you to think that I felt nothing for you because I did. I really did lo-....cared about you Sammy. I just  fucked up okay? I wanted to hurt you in the moment but then afterwards I left guilty" he takes  a pause

and then he takes  a step closer.

"can you forgive me Samantha" I look into his eyes, and for  a moment  I almost believe him. A huge part of me wants to forgive him. His eyes looks sleepless, his hair is neat but rushed.

then all of my memories comes back to surface. My deepest secrets that I told him. I let him in, I allowed him to prove himself that he was different. He made me believe I was one in a million, and that I was lucky. But I wasn't. My pain came back, so in that moment I did what I've been holding back on for awhile

I slap him

"no" I say in a low dangerous voice before walking away

Right there, in that exact moment I felt free. I felt like I finally  won. Cameron was in my past, I'm ready for the future and I am never looking back

ring ring

I look down at my phone, a picture of Justin wearing a unicorn Onesie while eating cotton candy next to his Christmas  tree pops up on my phone screen. I smile every time I look at the picture. It was a good Christmas day

"hello" I speak into the phone, excitement laced in my voice. I don't know why I feel so happy after that, I just do.

"Afternoon beautiful. What are you up to"

"lunch at school. The usual high school crap"

"well don't eat to much because I have a surprise for you. Meet me at my families beach house at 7" Justin says before hanging up  before I can reply

I laugh

I left an ass whole and got with the good guy.

I won

•••
As the school day came to an end I managed to say awoke through the boring day. I made it home.

Sliding the keys into the slot and opening the door to an empty house. Like always

I see a note on the kitchen counter

Dear Sammy. Your father left out of town and so have I. Don't worry about Matthew, he's with his soccer friends having a sleepover. The house is your responsibility no boys in the house! Love mom.

I mentally roll my eyes. No one is ever here for me when I need them.

Looking at the time I decide to get ready for my date with Justin. I shower, do my makeup, straighten my hair and put on a sundress with some heels

Afterwards I get in my car and drive to the beach house that's too long of a ride in my opinion, but not impossible.

Soon I am here. It's dark by the Time I get there. I don't see Justin car yet

"Justin" I yell as I walk through the living room. Nothing.

I walk through the entire house but no sight of Justin. It's 7:30, meaning he should be here. I pull out my phone to call him But then the sound of a violin escapes my ears. I walk outside to the backyard, and follow the sound of the beautiful instrument

As I continue to walk the sound grows louder, and then I see him. He's in a collar shirt, blue jeans, and some vans. His hair is slicked back and he's smiling. Around him is a table with two candles with rose petals surrounding the backyard. And in this moment I was at my happiest

"what is this all about" I question as I walk further to him.

"I'm serious about you Samantha, actually I'm crazy about you. Yes we have only been together for 2 months but this feels like falling in love to me. You are my everything....I love you" Justin says

I look into his eyes. I feel safe, free, right. Justin brings out the best of me. He's my best friend, my partners, the right guy for me. He's the good guy. I need the good guy, I want the good guy. He said that he was falling in love with me, and I believe it. And maybe I was falling in love with him also. And this time, it isn't a game. It's real

"I'm falling for you too"

he walks up to me. He's taller than me, a lot taller. He looks into my eyes and I look into his

"you wanna know what we haven't done yet" Justin says as he gently place a piece of hair behind my ear and smile

"what?" I say

"this" a pair of lips connect with mines. He kisses me, I kiss him back

The song "kiss me" starts to play, and that is when we pull our lips pull apart

"can I have this dance?" Justin offers with a bow. I giggle. He's is such a goofball

"why of course" I accept before taking him in. He holds me close as we slowly dance to the sweet, soft song. The moon was gloomy, the wind was howling, but it was also calming. That was kind of how my life was. Wild like the wind, in control, sometimes untameable, but persistent nevertheless. Me and Justin love for each other was like the moon and the stars, it fit perfectly together, like it was meant to be. That day when Cameron broke my heart in front of the whole school I was mad, hurt, completely broken. I was a fool for thinking I could beat him at the game he played best, but what's a girl to do when things doesn't turn out right for herself? cry? wrong answer. You get back up and continue to fight. You don't give up on love just because one person ruined it for you. You keep pushing, and when Justin came to me that day I could have given up, ignored him, but I didn't, and god I'm so lucky I didn't. He was my heart, in his arms I felt safe.

As the night died down, and as we danced till the sun came up I was only for sure of one thing. I loved Justin.