After apologizing and trying to convince me to help, I decided to help Mateo get closer to Weslie.
Lumipas ang pahanapon at unti unti ko ng napaglapit ang dalawa. Ngayon, magkakaibigan na kaming tatlo. But I know their feelings for each other deepened. Now, my mission is to bring them together.

Last week, Mateo told me that he already loved Weslie and begged me to help him win her. Sometimes I wonder, why do I follow his requests when I hurt myself while doing so? Its funny. I always act like I'm fine but I find myself crying every night. I feel so stupid. I can say no to his requests. I can stop playing cupid anytime I want. But... for some reason I always say yes even if it hurts me. I always put his happiness first before mine. And his happiness is to be with her, not me.

-----

Biyernes ngayon at nasa library ako  para hanapin si Mateo at Weslie. Madalas kasi silang nandito tuwing reccess. Nakita ko sila na nakaupo sa isang table at nagaaral. I took a deep breath and forced a smile on my face before approaching them.  "Guys!! Punta tayong mall sa sunday, manuod tayo sa sine at mamasyal" pagaya ko sa kanila.

"Libre mo ba?" tanong agad ni Mateo.

"Of course----Not"

"Ay wow naman. kanya-kanyang bayad ba?" tanong niya.

"Syempre. Ano, g?"

"Sige na nga" parehas nilang pagpayag.

"Okay, meet up tayo ng before lunch ah? Chat ko nalang kayo byeeee" mabilis kong sabi at lumabas na ng library. Nang makalabas ako ay nawala ang masayang ngiti na ipinakita ko sa kanila at napalitan ito ng malungkot na ngiti. Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong umiyak at bumalik nalang sa classroom.

----
SUNDAY

RING~ RING~

I was lying down and reading a book when suddenly, someone called. I put the book down and grabbed my phone. It was Weslie. I cleared my throat and answered.

"...hello?" I said, trying to sound as sick as possible.

["Hey! Asan ka na nandito na kami. Don't tell me you ditched us--- Wait, Esme are you okay? You sound sick."] - Weslie

"...sorry, bigla akong nagkasakit kanina, di ko kayo natawagan." I said and faked a cough.

["Ha?! Puntahan ka na namin diyan, wait lang"] Nagmamadaling saad ni Weslie.

"No! I-i mean no... you don't have to." Gosh, muntik na yun ah.

["What? Pero may sakit ka. Bibilhan ka namin ng prutas tas pupunta na kami diyan.]

"I already said wag na. Ang sakit talaga ng ulo ko, I want to rest. Magbonding nalang kayong dalawa tutal nandiyan na rin naman kayo."

["Pero---"]

"Sorry Wes masakit na talaga ulo ko"  sabi ko at nagakto na parang masakit talaga ang ulo.

["*sigh* ...fine. Bye, pagaling ka."]

"Bye.." at pinatay ko na ang tawag.

I placed my phone on my bedside at humiga na ako sa kama ko. I was in a fetus position and was staring at nowhere. Until when do I have to do this? Ah, no, until when WILL I do this? Minsan gusto ko nalang magalit at sumigaw. Gusto ko siyang sigawan. Gusto kong ilabas lahat ng nararamdaman ko. But for some odd reason, I just can't. My voice won't come out but my tears continuously fell. I closed my eyes and just tried to sleep.

------
THE NEXT DAY

I was about to enter our classroom when someone suddenly grabbed my arm. Napalingon ako at nakita ko si Mateo. "..Mateo? May problema ba? How was your date yesterday?" tanong ko at pilit na ngumiti.

"I knew it. You lied, didn't you?" 

I paused. "What nonsense are you talking about? Kakagaling ko lang sa sakit, Mateo" sabi ko at umiwas ng tingin.

"Yesterday. You lied to Weslie and said you were sick. Why did you do that?" Tanong naman niya pabalik sa akin.

I pulled my arm away from him and glared. "So what if I did? You asked me to help you with Weslie so I did! Why the hell are you so mad?!" Napataas ang boses ko at pinagtinginan na kami ng mga tao sa hallway.

"Yes, I did ask you but I didn't mean that you should ditch us!"

"Then you should've specified it. You know what, Mateo? Bahala ka na nga diyan. You're so frustrating! I won't help you with Weslie anymore you gosh darn coward!" I angrily shouted while pointing ny finger at him and went inside the room. Galit akong umupo sa aking upuan.

Seriously, I can't understand him! Why the hell is he so pissed?! Siya na nga nagpapatulong, siya pa ang galit. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha! I mean, yea, I did ditch them out of nowhere and lied, but still! I did that for them! Goshhh I'm so pissed! Does he not know that I get hurt while helping him? Gaano ba siya kamanhid? And why am I so mad??

Ilang minuto ang nakalipas ay dumating na si Weslie. Umupo siya sa tabi ko. "Oh, hey, are you okay now?" she asked and checked my tenperature.

"Yup, I'm fine." I said and smiled a bit.

She just nodded and said "Okay pero magpahinga ka pa rin, ha?"

"Alright."

Dumating na ang teacher namin at nagstart ang klasi. Time passed quickly and it was already recess. Tumayo na ako at inaya si Weslie na pumunta sa cafeteria. Dinaanan lang namin si Mateo at di ko man siya pinansin.

We both bought juice and chips. Umupo na kami sa usual table namin at habang nagkwekwentuhan kami at kumakain, biglang dumaan si Mateo na kakabili lang ng pagkain. "Ah, Mat! Dali dito ka" pagtawag ni Weslie.

Umupo si Mateo sa tabi ni Weslie at doon ko narealize na bagay sila. And that broke my heart, once again. Jusko naman, ilang beses ba kailangan madudurog ang puso ko bago ako magmove on?

Makalipas ang ilang minuto, kinailangang umalis ni Weslie dahil pinapatawag siya ng isa sa nga teachers namin kaya naiwan kami ni Mateo.

An awkward silence fell upon us. Hindi man lang kami nagtitinginan at nagfocus lang kami sa pagkain. Nang maubos ko na ang pagkain ko, tumayo na ako para umalis. "I gotta go, may tatapusin pa ako." paalam ko at hindi man lang siya tinignan.

"Ah... Esme.."

Napalingon ako sa kanya. "What?" I coldly asked.

Tinignan niya ako at yumuko. "...Its nothing." he mumbled.

I just nodded and left.

------
UWIAN

Nagring na ang bell at lumabas na ang teacher namin. Everybody started preparing to leave and I did the same. Kinuha ko na ang bag ko at tumayo. "Wes, cleaners ka ngayon, diba?" I asked and she nodded.

"Mhm. Uuwi ka na? Ingat!"

I nodded. "Ingat din!" at umalis na ako.

Pagkalabas ko ng room, may biglang humawak sa braso ko at pinigilan akong umalis. Once again, it was Mateo. His face was full of sadness and guilt. Nanlambot ang mga tuhod ko at naramdaman kong nagtubig ang mga mata ko. Gosh, does he really not know that everything he does hurts me? Ang sakit. Alam kong gusto niya si Weslie. Alam kong wala kaming pagasa. Pero sa ginagawa niya, umaasa pa rin ako eh. "What is it?" I asked and heard my voice crack.

"...I'm sorry. I got mad for no reason earlier. Its just, you lied because of me and Weslie was upset the whole day yesterday. She kept worrying about you and was always distracted. I guess I blamed you for it. I'm sorry" he apologized.

Ah... so that was the reason. He got mad because... Weslie was upset yesterday. I cleched my fist and held my tears in. He's such a jerk. Why the hell did I have to fall for him, of all people. Ano bang trip ni cupid at ako lang ang pinana niya? Is it entertaining to see me crumble everyday?

"Esme? I'm really sorr---" I removed his hand which was holding my arm.

"Its fine. Cleaners ka rin diba? Ikaw na bahala kay Weslie. Bye" I hurriedly said and ran away.  I ran and ran without knowing where to go. Nalaman ko nalang, nasa park na ako malapit sa bahay.

Hingal na hingal ako at sunod sunod na tumutulo ang luha ko. Napaupo nalang ako sa bench at umiyak. I covered my face with my hands and raised my feet on the bench.

I'm tired of always saying that everything is fine when in fact, its not. I'm tired of always acting. I'm so tired of loving him.

"....Hey, are you okay?" I heard a concerned voice asked me.

Ano na naman? Why do people keep bothering me?? Gusto ko nalang mapagisa. And who the hell is this. "Do I look okay---" pagsusungit ko ng makita ang isang lalaki na kaedaran ko siguro at base sa uniform niya, estudyante siya sa school na malapit sa park na nakalimutan ko ang pangalan. He looked cute. He had black messy hair, almond shaped eyes, high-bridged nose, and dimples.

Inabutan niya ako ng panyo. "Anong gagawin ko diyan?"

"Uhm, to wipe your tears, of course?"

"Ah, thank you" I said and accepted it. "What's your name? Babalik ko tong panyo mo pagkatapos kong labhan." I stated, wiping my tears.

"Arczen Martias. You don't need to return it, sayo na yan. I hope you feel better" He said with a smile before running away.

I just watched him run away cutely. I laughed. "He looks like a puppy" I whispered.