"First of all, how did you even know I was leaving?" I snapped and Nixon's facial expression never changed from the look of fury etched into his features. Wow. I really pissed him off this time.

Good.

"Bryce told me. He said I needed to fix this shit before it put everyone in danger." This caused me to snort loudly in disbelief. I should have fucking known Bryce wasn't going to keep his mouth shut.

"Put everyone in danger? That's the understatement of the year."

"No, it is not Drake!" Nixon yelled and I stopped laughing to looking at him with a serious face. Who the hell is he yelling at like that? I know it ain't me. He got the wrong one. "If we end up breaking up, it will almost be the equivalent of one of us dying. If that happens, we either go rogue or die ourselves. If one of us goes rogue, that could put the Pack in danger!"

"None of this would be happening if you would just fucking tell me about her! Don't treat me like a fucking child!" I yelled back at him, tired of everyone treating me like some damn infant when it came to werewolf knowledge.

"Tell you about who!?" He yelled back and I wanted to throttle him so badly right now. How could someone so handsome and with so much experience be this thick in the head?

"Your ex you dipshit." I snapped and his look of anger transformed into one of confusion. Oh my god I am going to lose my shit.

"My ex? I already told you about them." He said, sounding extremely confused at how this was the source of our fighting.

"Nixon, you are not stupid. If I have to spell it out for you, I'm going to fucking punch you in the throat." I said as calmly as I could, waiting for him to answer, and when he continued to just stand there looking like a lost child, I gave up. Reaching for the closest thing near me, a metal bowl that was holding some decorative balls in it, I chucked it across the room at Nixon. "AMELIA YOU ASSHOLE. WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT AMELIA!?" I screamed and I watched a ray of emotions fill his face at the mention of her name.

"How--how do you know her name?" He asked quietly, almost in shock, which made no sense to me. Well, clearly it would make sense to me if he, well, you know...FUCKING TOLD ME ABOUT HER IN THE FIRST PLACE.

"I mentioned how--wait. It doesn't matter how I know her name. You clearly care a lot about her, so why don't you tell me why." I could see him starting to retreat into himself again and I shook my head. He did the same shit when he saw Killian, he was NOT doing it to me now! "Nixon why can't you see that this is the reason for all the fighting? I told you about my mom. That's something I don't ever want to talk about because of the emotions it brings out in me. I knew you had a girlfriend that you cared a lot about and was hoping you would tell me about her alongside your story, but you never did and that really hurt me." I walked towards him, holding his eyes that held emotions I couldn't place.

"Talk to me, Nixon. I've been seeing the effect she has on you and I don't want to see you like this anymore. I want to help and I cant do that if I don't know." While I couldn't tell what emotions he was feeling, I could see that he was debating on telling me. I'm not going to lie, it's pissing me off that he still has to think about whether or not to tell me, but I was the same way when Bryce told me to talk about my mom.

I waited patiently for him to answer and when I saw he clearly wasn't going to talk, I felt all my energy leave my body. Jeremiah, go back. I'm staying here. I said through the mind link and stepped back from Nixon.

"Let's just go to bed. I cant do this anymore right now, it's too exhausting." I sighed and walked around quietly, picking up the bowl and setting it back on the table while Nixon undressed slowly. I followed suit, stripping from my jeans and shirt until I was left in my boxers before turning off the lights and crawling under the blankets. I moved to the furthest side of the bed because I honestly didn't want to be near Nixon at the moment. I couldn't understand these emotions inside me. I was confused, hurt, angry, depressed. My heart was still telling me being in this relationship was right, and my brain was finally starting to agree, but now that doubt was back telling me if I was dating a girl I wouldn't be dealing with this emotional crisis. I was finally dozing off but was jerked awake by the sound of the blanket moving and the sudden feeling of warmth coming towards my backside.

"Julian and I met her while we were searching for the Hunters that killed our parents," Nixon mumbled out and I wanted to turn around and look at him, but I felt like if I did he would stop talking. "We were following a lead Julian found on some family members that weren't in Romania when the Pack was slaughtered, we knew the Hunters were most likely targeting them. Still wanting to stay low and out of the sights of Hunters, we moved around during the night and slept during the day. Hunters liked to attack at night because they want to catch their prey when they're sleeping, so moving at night was easier because we could defend ourselves if they attacked rather than be attacked while we were sleeping. During one of those nights, we ran into a girl. She was clearly a rouge and was injured, so we offered her help and allowed her to stay with us for protection. I already knew I had a mate and she wasn't it, but I didn't know if I would ever meet my true mate. There was no guarantee I could come back from this mission alive and I was getting more and more depressed when I thought about it. So, I ended up putting those feelings onto Amelia. I knew it was wrong, my wolf knew it was wrong and yet I still did it. But the feelings I developed for her grew stronger and I really fell in love with her." I winced at that part, feeling a lump form in my throat. No one ever wants to hear how much their boyfriend loved someone else.

"We were together for four years as Julian and I traveled around, avoiding Hunters and searching for our family. It was a sweet and innocent relationship, like young love. We ended up fighting a lot for the next couple of months because I refused to fully mate with Amelia. She wanted the mating mark and I didn't want to give that to her because she wasn't my true mate. She became very angry at that but eventually came to understand. She then became very sick soon after and went out to go get some medicine while we slept, but when we awoke that night she wasn't back. I was terrified she had been captured and wanted to search for her. We did for the first couple of nights, but Julian started to get frustrated because we were losing sight of our real goal. We fought about what to do and he didn't understand why I was so fixated on her when she wasn't my mate. And he was right. My wolf didn't really care that she was gone, but I did. I spent four years with her, the feelings I had were very real and very strong. But I knew finding our family was more important than my feelings, so I gave up on looking for her. A couple months had passed and Julian said we could try searching for her again and we agreed to start that night, but right as we fell asleep we were attacked. Julian and I fought as much as we could, taking down a lot of the Hunters, but I ended up getting shot when I saw that Amelia was standing next to the Leader. She had sold us out to them. All those months she was gone was because she was working with those stupid fucking Hunters all along. Julian ended up dragging me away from there. We had already helped Bryce and his Pack as I told you before, so we knew we could go to them for help. Julian dragged me there and they helped heal me. The whole time though, I wasn't grateful for their help. I was just pissed and depressed that the one time I truly loved someone, they fucked me over. I got better quickly and Jordan had another mission for us. I was silently praying I would die on this mission, but then you burst into the office. The minute I heard your voice my wolf was losing it. And when I saw you. I felt hope."

I decided to turn around and look at Nixon, surprised to see him crying. "I never meant to hurt you like this baby. I don't like talking about her because of what she did. She turned me into this cold horrible person in a matter of weeks and ever since I found you, I don't have those feelings anymore and I never want to have them again. I know I should've told you, but I knew what emotions it would bring up and I didn't want you to see me like this." It broke my heart to see how much this chick had ruined Nixon's idea of love and while I wanted nothing more than to cuddle with him...he was still hiding something.

"Nixon, thank you for finally telling me. I feel shitty for asking now that I know how it makes you feel but...is there anything else you want to add?" He explained already his behavior when it came to his ex, but he had yet to explain his most recent behavior. And I may seem like a dick to keep prying after he just spilled his whole heart out to me, but I needed to know now or never.

"I told you everything Drake. What more do you want?" He snapped, sitting up from the bed. Now he was getting defensive which justifies my thought that he was still keeping something to himself. I sat up as well.

"None of that explains why you acted like that around the baby." I finally said and I saw him freeze up. "You can't blame that kind of reaction on something simple like--"

"She was pregnant!" He yelled and if my eyes could pop out my head, they would. "Amelia was pregnant, alright."

If I didn't feel like much of a dick before, I surely do now.

"Nixon--"

"She was throwing up and sick because she was pregnant. I was trying to hide it from Julian, but Amelia started to show and we couldn't keep it a secret. She went into town to get some pain pills and some pillows for her to sleep on, but she never came back. That's why I was so adamant about finding her. She had to of been no more than four months along and she was showing so very clearly, but when she showed up with the Hunters...her stomach was flat. I thought I was seeing things because I was dying, but when I asked Julian about it later, he said he noticed it too. She killed our child. That's why I don't like being around babies."

I was in shock. Amelia either had the baby or got rid of it. Either way was surely devastating to Nixon. And I didn't know how to compete with that. I shouldn't even have to feel like I need to compete, but...I cant give him a child. I can't let him feel that happiness again. Nixon suddenly got out of the bed and started putting his clothes on.

"Where are you going? Nixon, talk to me!" I cried out, freaking out in my mind that I had gone too far in making him talk to me. Why didn't I just read the signs that showed this was a taboo topic?

"I need to be alone." Was all Nixon said as he slid on his jeans I scrambled out of the bed and over to him, wanting to grab him, but I knew he would probably jerk away from me. "I'm not upset that I told you all this because I needed to. I couldn't keep this hidden from you. But I just need some time alone to get myself together again."

"Nixon, let me help. I didn't know this would happen, so please, let me at least help you heal." I pleaded and what he said next shattered me.

"You've done enough Drake. Leave me be." But of course, I can't just ever let something drop and I persisted.

"Lets talk please." I pleaded and he just stared at me with dead eyes. "I won't even comment back! You can just vent everything and get it off your chest and--"

"You don't get it." He laughed and I furrowed my eyebrows at him. "When you're mother died, did you want to talk about it to anyone? And when you did mention her or see anything that reminded you of her, it made you want to be alone and try and get your head back on straight." I nodded my head at his question because it was true. After she died, I didn't want to see or hear anything about her anymore. All it did was open up the wound and make it even more real to me that she was gone. 

"Drake if there's one thing I need you to do for me, it's to give me some time to get myself back together. While I'm glad I told you, it's not easy throwing all that on the table at once." And out the door my world went, taking my aching heart with him.

are you guys enjoying the story? while I'm having a lot of fun writing it, I've started to notice it's not gaining as many reads and votes like the other books in the series. I mean I'm going to continue with this book regardless because I enjoy this plot a lot, but I wonder if this should be the last one?? I wanted to write a book about Charlie and Kits kid as the last book in the series and give a new take to the werewolf stories, but idk now...just some late night thoughts I guess