I woke alone and cold, I searched for warmth, Jack, but there was nothing there. I open my eyes and see my door is cracked open. I hear mumbling coming from downstairs, one of the ones I recognize to be my brother, the other Jack, and then my parents. I groan, waiting for there to be a fight between my brother and my boyfriend. I stand, swipe my pen off the bedside table, and check my shoulder. A deep purple and blue bruise, raised skin, throbbing when I move it. I take an inhale from my pen, and now I'm out.

I leave my room and head to the stairs, hearing my brother chewing out Jack. Jack stands his ground but listens to everything my brother is saying.

"All you do is sleep around! How fair is that to Mac? It's not fair. He genuinely loves you, and what about you? All you're good at is sports and fucking girls then throwing them aside. I'm not going to let you do that to Mac, he has other important things he needs to focus on, not you playing mind games on him."

I stop and listen to Jack's response. I know I should defend him, but my curiosity is getting the better of me, so I stop and listen.

"You dont know me, Tim," Jack says gently.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You dont know anything, no one does except Gene. And now Mac. Do you know why? I've had to play into my parent's fairytale all my life... It's hard for me to be genuine. You're right, all I'm good at is sports and sex. That's all I've ever been told I'm good at. All I know to do is get good grades, be an overachiever, and make my parents look good. That's it. I have issues I'm working on, and Mac is helping me more than anyone will ever know."

"What issues? You've been perfect your entire life," Tim crosses his arms.

"You're wrong. I've never been perfect, I've been trying to be perfect. There's no such thing as perfect. I know I fight a lot, I've learned to deal with my issues the wrong ways, like sex and fights, but I'm learning. I've never felt anything except anger and loneliness. Then I get to know Mac, and I learn more about myself. I learned how to be gentle with a person, and because of Mac, I've learned to like myself and be more real with myself. I like Malcolm, more than I know, more than anyone knows. I know he loves me, and it's going to take some time for me to learn to love, but if I'm going to learn from anyone it's going to be Mac. He's been more forgiving with me than I deserve, and I'm thankful for that. Hell, I can't even comprehend half the shit I'm saying. Everything that I'm learning now about myself, learning I can actually like someone as much as I like Mac, this is all new to me. I'm not opposed to learning more about myself and Mac together, I'm actually really happy this is all happening. I'm ready to learn, and I'm ready to love and be genuinely freaking happy, for once. I'm ready to not be under my parent's power, and do something for me instead of for them."

"Hey," I say when I'm back to ground level. I go to Jack. "I love you, and I'm waiting for you. I will wait for you," I pull myself up to kiss him.

"I thought you were sleeping," his face dropped, obviously worried that he just yelled at Tim. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough," I grin and hug his waist, and he holds my hips in surprise. "You didnt have to tell him all that."

"But I did. I'm serious about this, and I want him to know that I'm not going to ever hurt you. I want him to know that I'm sorry for my past. I can't do much about my past, but I can change myself and change my future."

I kiss his jaw and then turn to my brother, "Instead of fighting him, can you show Jack how to refill my pen?"

"You trust this dude to refill your pen? Really?"

"Yes," I grab Jack's hand. "I do. He knows about my cancer, Tim, I told him."

That shuts him up. Instead, he sighs. "Okay, I'm sorry. I just worry about Mac. He may trust you to change, but you need to prove that to me."

Jack cringes but accepts. I see in his eyes he wants to defend himself, but he looks at me and decides not to. So instead, I defend him.

"Tim, I love you, you're my brother, but you're not in the position to say that. I thought Jack was bad at first, just like you and the gang do. But, I realized he's not evil, he's not a monster, and he is changing. Please, just try to get along, for my sake if anything."

Tim nods, "Fine. Jack, follow me."

I hand my pen to Jack and walk over with them. I watch with my parents as Jack follows Tim's instructions. Tim opens the wooden box, telling Jack how to take off the old pod. Tim hands Jack a new pod, telling him to take off the wrapper, so Jack does.

"See the bullseye," Tim asks, Jack nods. "Use this needle, and gently pierce through the center of it. I imagine you're good at darts?"

Jack smiles, "I am."

"Good, then this should be easy enough. Think you can manage it?"

"Tim," I interrupt. "Sarcasm," I warn, he gives me the hand and I scoff.

"Take the needle, tip the pod bottom-up so nothing spills out, and just go through."

Jack grabs the needle, places it in the center, and gently pierces through. It makes a soft pop, he looks up with wide eyes.

"The pop is normal, don't worry," I tell him with a grin, reading the worry in his eyes.

He nods, waiting for the next instructions.

"Take the needle, throw it in the bin," Jack does. "Take the pen, flip it upside down, and push it in until you hear a click. It might take a push."

The pen is flipped and pushed in, Jack puts in more effort than his gentleness earlier, all until he hears the click.

"That's it, nice job," He grabs the pen and flips it back; letting the liquid fall into the pen. He gives it back. "You learned how to refill Mac's pen."

Jack looks at me and smiles, walking over to give me the pen. My parents told him he did a good job, and that it's easy when you're not under pressure.

"My record is 7 seconds," Tim sits on the couch, and my parents sit next to him in the neighboring chairs. "You'll get there, it gets easier every time."

I drag Jack to sit with me on the couch.

"How long have you been on medical?" Jack asks. Wrapping his arms around me, after putting the pen around my neck.

"Since my prosthetic was put in. Being 16 years old and having your bone removed and replaced with metal can do some damage to your body and mind. My medical marijuana isnt just for the pain, I'm allowed to use it whenever I have a panic attack over my cancer. Since the surgery, I've been so scared of people finding out, I'll sometimes have panic attacks over it."

This gains me a tighter hug, of course, he's careful with my shoulder. Tim glares at Jack, I roll my eyes. I know why Tim is so protective, but this is going to be getting unnecessary.

My parents strike up a conversation with Tim and Jack, after seeing my look of "Help me out here." I just lean against Jack, sometimes kicking or swatting at Tim whenever he's rude. Then something unexpected happens, Tim cracks a joke to my parents, and Jack laughs in genuine understanding of the joke. Tim seemed surprised but smiled and lightened up. The mood was nice and peaceful/ Then Tim had to leave, and my parents said Jack should head out too, it was a school night. He leaves but not after kissing me goodbye. He gets in his car, the engine roars to life, and he drives away.

"Jackson seems like a good kid," my father says. "He really does like you."

"And I love him," I say, fighting the smile crawling to my lips. "You have no idea. I think he's hiding something from me though, with his parents."

"What do you mean?" My mom grabs my hand. I go sit on the couch, her following.

"He always gets so depressed when thinking or talking about his parents. I know that they didnt grow up the best, but now their drowning in money because of their jobs. They give Jack whatever he wants, but they are always gone and he never gets to see them. The latest they've actually seen him and spent time with him was when he was in the hospital, and when he got out they left again. Hell, they didn't even want me to see him in the hospital; kept ushering me to leave, but Jack wouldn't let them. I just think he's holding back from telling me more about his parents."