"Tell me why you're so mad at me. That's all I want to know," Jack holds my right arm gently and keeps his hand flush against my waist.

"You told me to listen, not engage in a conversation."

"I'm trying, okay? You're probably right about being mad at me, but I can't fix it if I don't know what I did!"

"Fix it? You want to fix something?" I scoff and rolled my eyes to get the point across that I was pissed off and very much annoyed.

"Yes! I'm trying to be a decent person because you're a decent person. You are cool, and kind, and all my friends love you, and I like hanging out with you, and I worry about you keeping all these personal secrets-" he takes in a very large breath, then slowly breaths out. "I know you hurt and I don't know why. I don't like seeing you hurt for some idiotic reason. So- Jesus, fuck me and my stupid brain. I want you to stay in my life, pretend dating or just being friends, I don't fuckin care right now. I just want you. I'm not good with words, and I'm a blunt dickhead, but I listen to my gut and my heart. And right now both are saying I need to keep you in my life."

I would let my heart get in the way, but it's clear he's with a woman, so I shut up my thoughts.

"God damn it, Jack," I laugh. "Why won't you just stop?" I get quiet. He still heard me. "You wanna know how you messed up? Can you be prepared? Are you gonna run away? Are you truly fucking ready?"

It comes out more pained than I meant. He didn't verbally answer. He stepped toward me and nodded. He's taller than me, a lot taller than me. Others would come up to him and ask him if he played basketball because of how tall he was. He was gifted with height. I have to tilt my head up to look at him when he's this close to me. Otherwise, the top of my head just touched the bottom of his neck, and I'll face his collarbone.

"You came into my life and I was stupid enough to say yes. You were using me, specifically me being queer, for your gain. I knew better but I said sure. I would just get revenge for those girls that you hurt. But... god damn it, Jack. You know I don't want to talk to you, stop trying."

"Okay. We dont have to keep talking now. But, can we talk soon? I don't want to give up."

"Fine, I'll have Tim text you."

He rolls his eyes. "What's with him anyways? I know he's like your brother or something, but he's so unnecessarily rude."

Now I laugh a true and real laugh.

"He's watching out for me because guys like you are trouble for me."

"Guys like me?"

"Guys like you. Do you still want to see where we down on our luck go? You'll be kind to Tim when he texts you the address. Now let me leave."

He seems content with that answer and steps away from the door and me. When I walked out, his hand brushed against mine. I blame it on being in a small closet.

——

"I need your help, Tim, please."

"I won't support you telling that asshole that you like him. I care for you too much."

"I won't be telling him I like him, I'll be telling him off. I also made a promise and I don't break promises," I sigh.

"I know you; you word vomit too much, too often. Also, you can break this one fucking promise."

"I don't want to. I want to see him and tell him fuck you, without being rushed or feeling like I'm forced to. I can't get over him if I don't do this."

He signs and hands over his phone.

"Thank you, Tim. I promise I won't let this go too far. I'll go and say fuck you in more ways than one. Then, we can go back home."

I stand and hug him before taking the phone. When I do use my Face ID to open it, I go to the messages. I see Jackass, and I laugh. I text him.

"Mac here: read, screenshot, then delete, trust me," and I put the address after. "Don't mention this spot in front of Tim or anyone. Go to the next location I'm sending."

After the read recipe pops up and he types in "cya there" I delete both of them. I then send the directions to our "fake" meeting spot. I tell him that the time and date are yet to be decided, and I'll keep him up to date. When I see him there I'll take him to my place. The group doesn't go there, only Tim does when I do. It's a special place to me, that's why I don't want Tim to know I'm bringing him there.

"Thank you," I hand him his phone back. "Let me change my pod then let's go out somewhere."

He smiles and shakes his head. "You are so lucky you're family."

"I know!" I grin and jog down to my living room. "Tim and I are gonna go out!"

"Change the pod first!" My mom yells from the kitchen, then comes out to see us. "Where you heading?" Im at the box pulling out the old pod to drop in the trash.

"Probably just the mall," Tim shrugs. "Would you like us to pick up anything for you on our way out?"

"Oh Tim," she walks over and reaches her hand up to comb through his hair. "You're too sweet. I'm alright darling, thank you." She goes on her toes and gives his forehead a small kiss. She then turns to me as the new pod pops open, I drop the needle in the basket and click the pod onto the pen. She kissed my forehead and hugged my right side. "You boys be safe, okay? Call me if you need me."

We agreed and walked out to his car.

"We aren't going to the mall are we?" I ask when the doors are shut and the car is on.

"Of course not," he laughs. "Who do you think I am? Some holy child? Couldn't be me. I'm gonna get us some drinks and then we're getting the gang. Start calling."

—

"Are you truly 21?" She asks as we put up the chips, alcohol, and energy drinks. "You don't look a day over 19."

"Turned a month ago," he pulls out his fake ID. "That's very kind of you though. You look rather young too. You sure you should be ringing this up for us?"

She laughs, thankfully she took it the lighter way. "I'm 27 Darling."

"No," he looks genuinely curious. "You're kidding right?"

"I'm not," she's grinning ear to ear. "Okay okay," she takes the ID, deems that's enough, and hands it back.

Tim adds cigarettes and a few nicotine cartridges. Tim smokes; nobody knows but our group. If our parents found out we'd all be dead meat. He does, she finishes the scan, making remarks to stay safe and that I better not be joining in on the fun. I laugh, we wave and leave out the glass doors. We start driving to the gang.