"Querido futuro esposo,

Did I say that right? That means dear future husband, right? At least that's how Gene translated it for me.

I may have Spanish blood but honestly is so hard for me to properly learn. I tried to learn, for a long while, but all I can remember are the curses from my grandmother. Hell, maybe you could be my tutor, esposo.

I think we finally got it through Paige's head that this is more than she thinks. She is so damn delusional! She tried stealing the latest letter while I was reading it with Lucas. Jack, I snapped. I slapped her. She said the most fucking awful thing, she said I faked my cancer to be with you, and I snapped. I was so tired and pissed off, I didn't realize what I was saying until it was over. I told everyone about my cancer, it's spread like wildfire. I broke, I showed my scar, I showed my pen, I said everything. I spent so long trying to hide it, trying to live a normal teenage life, then she presses the wrong button, and the doors flung open. I was so tired of her spreading rumors that I faked an illness. I dont know how she even got to that point, like of all rumors to spread that one hit way too close to home. So now it's out in the open.

I'm just a kid with cancer, whos dating the trouble-making straight jock that suddenly went gay. That's what is like right now, I know it'll blow over but when you come back to school the gossip will come back too. The gossip right now is so bad that my teachers are allowing me to skip classes without doing the work. If I sit in on a class I get things like crumbled paper thrown at me, I got laughs and giggles. I get pity, so much pity it's weighing down on my soul.   

Anyways. Tim and Gene are together! Well, sorta. They aren't official yet but they both are aware of their feelings for each other. Gene asked me to help him with a date between them, he's trying which makes me happy. I bonded with Gene a little bit more, he's more kind than I sought him out to be in the beginning. Now, I dont mind talking with him casually. I've also got closer to the other guys, we've been going to a cafe together recently, and we take up two whole booths. It's really fun, we go together as often as we can, I can't wait till you're back to join us.

Nic's so fucking cool, he yelled at your guy's team for mocking me when my cancer breakout happened. Deren and Gene have been basically threatening anyone that sends glares my way, while Nic takes care of the team.    

Honestly, there's not much new. Baby, I miss you. I feel like we've been apart forever. I have the entire weekend cleared for only us. I couldn't book a presidential suite, are you crazy? The only place near us with a presidential suite is a whole 3-day trip from home. Sorry love, I can't book that. But! I booked the next best thing, an Ambassador Suite.

Presidential suites are more for presidents and officials, there are conference rooms, and there are plainer actually. The Ambassador sweet is more for luxury, my love. I got an online tour of the place, you're going to love it! Like you said I didnt worry about the price just what would be comfortable. How the hell does your card got so much on it?!

We're booked for 3 full nights, we're not going to school on Monday, and we'll be last Tuesday so be prepared. I also got some other stuff for our weekend together so dont worry about any preparations before coming over. It's booked under your last name. I can't wait until I see you again.    

You've been in my dreams and my nightmares. Ever since Paige built her vendetta against me I've been having horrible dreams. Dreams, nightmares, that you'll leave me, dreams that all of this is my imagination, dreams that everything is make-belief. The only that that will put me at ease is you being back home.   

I know this was sadder than I meant it to be, but I can't help it, mi futuro esposo. I can say im working on my pronunciation of futuro esposo, so I'll be able to say it more. My highlight of every week is receiving your letter. I know we only got a little time left before we see each other, but I can't help but yearn for you.   

I love you, Jackson, mi futuro esposo    love Malcolm"

I add the newest pictures of myself and seal the envelope, I pay for the fragile packaging and the express, and send it off. Tim and I get back in the car and we head to school. I'm dreading the events that will take place after my outburst last week. The day after was an absolute slaughterhouse, so I can only imagine what today gonna be like.

My first hour was very uneventful. After all, it is only a student success skill. No one in this class has the time to bicker and gossip, we all just work on assignments and get the fuck out. It's also the only class I have with no one I know, but everyone seems to know me. 2nd hour I had with Deren, he was incredibly protective, and wouldn't allow anyone to talk to me until he knew it was about schoolwork only.

"Deren, it's okay, I can still talk to people."

"I know, but what if they mock you or something, what if they dont have good intentions?"

"Then I fight back."

"You can't fight, Mac. If you tried and got hurt, Jack would kill us."

"You guys always say that, but he loves you guys. He wouldn't kill you guys, and if he tried I would kill him in return."

Now Deren laughs, he pats my back lightly, "You dont think he would kill us?"

"I know he wouldn't. You guys are really important to him."

"I'm glad you think so, but he would kill anyone else that fucks with you."

"I dont think he'd kill them?"

"He wouldn't mean to kill someone, but when he blacks out he turns into someone else, someone darker, someone without morals. I've only seen it once."

"Yeah? When was that?" He swallows and gives a gentle smile, he shakes his head. "I'll wait for him to tell me," I return the smile and he nods softly.

"What I can tell you though, is the time he attacked your assaulter, he was holding back a lot."

"That was him holding back?"

"That's probably only 20% of the damage he can do. He has a lot of issues to work through, but he refuses to go to therapy. He claims that therapy is for people who need it, but he says he doesn't need it. That's why this Bootcamp is so good for him. It's a healthier way of working through his shit than what he used to do."

I nod in understanding, then the teacher yells at us to stop talking. I roll my eyes but focus back on my computer. I open up a new Google doc and put it in his school g-mail. He opens up the invite.

"So, you ready for Jack to come back and kill someone?" I type, and it is shared on his screen. He chuckled and started typing, his typing showing up on my screen.

"Yeah, I'm ready to join him in a new fight."

"Is that really what you're excited about?"

"Yes and no. I'm excited to see my friend again."

"Well, he and I made prior arrangements the day he comes back. I'm stealing him for the weekend."

"Ohhh~"

"Shut up!" I chuckle as I type. "Not what you think."

"So you won't be getting down and dirty?"

"No!"

"You sure? You're very defensive."

"This is over," I close the doc on my end and my hands cover my hot face.

I hear him laugh next to me, so I slap his hand. The teacher glared at us, so finally, we stopped and started to focus on our work. The rest of the day went smoothly, I left the group at the cafe to go to chemo. I had my mom take a picture of me getting my head and shoulder bolted down to the table like I was in a cage. I use my free hand to give the camera a thumbs up. I can't talk, I can't move my head even a little, and I can't operate like I want to. I just close my eyes and try to sleep while my chemos going.