I barely managed to get through today I can't even manage to get through half the school day. I put everything back into the envelope except the picture of Jack in the uniform. That one I put on the back of my phone and smile as I look at it throughout classes. Sadly I deal with Paige today. She begins making snarky comments but I put on the headphones I keep in my backpack and turn up my music. I set my phone down, and the picture of Jack shows face up. I didnt expect her to gasp and grab my phone. In the process my headphones unplugged, but I dont care about that.

"Paige, what the fuck is wrong with you," Lucas stands and stomps in front of her. But it's too late, the picture is already outside of my phone and in her grossly manicured hands.

"You are fucking crazy," she looks at me. "Really? You made a fake photo of him and even wrote on the back of it. You're fucking crazy."

"Paige, you bitch, give it back," I slap my hand on the table, about to cry again.

"No, you're fucking crazy," she thinks it's fake. She stands but Lucas pushes her down into her chair again. "What the fuck Lucas, you're defending that freak? Look, it's fake, look!" He snatches it from her hands and hands it back to me.

I cling to it as if my life depends on it, tears finally slip from my eyes when I see it's not hurt.

"Paige, you just fucked up. You just made an enemy out of Jack and us. You pull another stunt like that and you're dead. Do you understand that? I'm not afraid to punch a girl."

"You believe all of this? There is no way Jack would allow him to be that crazy!"

"You dont know shit!" I yell at her. "You dont know anything! Fuck off, stop bothering us, just let us be happy," I cry out, I feel my anxiety rising, and I'm shaking. I feel the eyes of the world on me. I feel like I'm drowning. I can't breathe. I gasp for air but I can't breathe. My chest feels full, it feels heavy, and I can't breathe in or out.

"Mac," Lucas's hands slip away from her and he stares at me with worry. "Malcolm?"

I grab at my chest, breathing in heavily, but I feel like I can't breathe out. Then I see the teacher walk in, late like always. His eyes land on me and he runs over.

"Is it your cancer? What's going on?" He looks at Lucas who is also at my side.

I grab my phone, feeling my head get foggy. I open up my emergency contacts and call Tim. I see the room getting darker.

"Mac, what's wrong?" I hear on the other end, but then I dont hear anything anymore. My vision is black, and then I'm out.

--

I wake up to see the ceiling, Tim over me, Gene on the other side, and Lucas pushing my knees above my head. I try to sit up, but Tim pushes me back down, his mouth is moving but I can't hear what he's saying. Then I see the nurse come over, she's talking to me but I can't hear it. I feel like everything is spinning. Tim puts the pen to my mouth and mouths the words "Breath" and "In". So I do, I breathe in, and I feel the vapor. I see Tim turn his head, and I read his lips as he yells "Fuck" and "Off" I assume at a student. Then as I breathe out I hear ringing, a buzz in my ear. I close my eyes as it gets louder, and then I can hear it all and my eyes widen. Whispers, Paige shrieking at Lucas who flips her off while holding my feet to the ground, keeping my knees above my head. Tim talking to the nurse about my anxiety attacks, also holding the pen to my lips till I breathe in again. Gene fanning me with a piece of paper and holding the back of my head in his hand against the floor.

"Shh," I manage out before my eyes close again.

"Can you hear me, Mac?" The nurse.

"Yeah," I croak out.

"You passed out for a bit Mac," Lucas tells me.

"Why?" I ask and swallow, my throat is dry. I need water.

"Do you hurt anywhere?"

"No."

"Do you think it was an anxiety attack? Lucas said you couldn't breathe?" Tim asks. I try to sit up but he keeps me held down, "Dont move around yet, you just came to."

"This was different," I swallow again. "Water," I plead and I see Tim turn quickly then put a strawed water bottle to my lips. I gulp, and gulp, and gulp until some water spills out the corner of my mouth. "It wasn't anxiety."

"Your cancer?" He whispers.

"No."

"Could it be a panic attack?" Tim asks, but I think it was towards the nurse.

"Maybe. Panic attacks and anxiety attacks are different but very similar. They feel a little different."

"I felt like I was drowning."

"When was the last time you talked to your therapist, Malcolm?" The nurse asks and very slowly helps me sit up.

"I dont know, a month and a half?"

She gives me a sad look, I know what she wants me to do. She wants me to schedule another appointment, so all I do is nod.

"Cancer?" I hear the brunette that caused my attack. "So the rumors are true?"

"What rumors?"

"That Mac Donalds here fakes illnesses for attention. Is that why Jack is "Dating" you?" she uses quotations with her fingers when she says dating. "Because you want people to think you're a charity case?"

Tears fall from my eyes again. Not only did she disrespect my name, but she said I'm a charity case. I laugh as my tears fall.

"Paige, principles office, now," the teacher points to the door, and she looks offended.

"I'm not the one who fakes having an illness like cancer and passes out when you're called out on your bullshit."

"Now!" He yells at her.

"Fine, fuck all of you. He's a faker, you should know that before you pity him," She flips me off. I do the same to her.

I lean against whatever is behind me, turns out Tim is now behind me. I pat my chest, feeling for the photo of Jack. My eyes widen.

"Jack," I gasp out. "Where is the picture?" I frantically thrash around.

"It's okay, it's okay," Lucas's hand pats the ground behind him then his hand shoots up. "I have it," the picture of Jack in the uniform is in his hand.

I smile and sigh, I grab it with shaky hands and pull it close to me, I lean back against Tim.

"I thought Paige grabbed it," I say and my brother rubs my arms.

"No, we wouldn't let her. She really is psychotic, she's fucking crazy."

I laugh, and then Tim and Gene help me stand. Lucas grabs my bag, and the nurse leads us to her office.

"Lunch is in an hour, I suggest you eat something small before then though. Or, you can go home, would you like me to call?"

"No. I plan on going out for lunch anyways, the fresh air might be good for me."

She gives me a sad look, then reaches into her fridge and pulls out a PBJ Uncrustable, I smile and take it happily. She's right, it did help me feel better. Gene and Lucas stood in front of me like a brick wall, protecting me from the eyes of passersby.

"You boys need to go to class, Tim can stay with Mac," the nurse gives a warm smile and leans against the wall.

"Jack would kill us if we left Mac right now."

"Jack, the football prodigy?"

"Yes. Malcolm and Jack are dating, and Jack would kill anyone who harms him. We're here to protect Mac in the meantime."

"You boys exaggerate," She laughs but grins and walks forward to sit on the bed across from me. "Congratulations," she offers me, and I nod. "But really. No harm is going to come to Mac in here. This is the safest place for him to be right now. Dont worry about it. I appreciate you boys looking out for Mac, but you have to get to class now."

Lucas frowns, "Why does Tim get to stay?"

I laugh gently, "Tim's family is also on my emergency contacts. Plus, he knows how to refill my pens the fastest. He and I have year-long notes to run out of class any time I needed to, he has one because he knows how to help me manage my pain and my attacks."

"Sorry boys, Tim and Malcolm are family,  parents on both sides recognize this, and the school recognizes it as well. So, Timothy gets Malcolm privileges," she jokes to comfort them.

"I'll be okay, she's right, I love it in here. The bed is soft, I dont hurt myself in here, and people are nice in here."

They finally give up but hug me before leaving, Tim even hugs Gene. Gene looked surprised at first but grinned as he hugged back. I definitely need to ask about them. I lay down on my good side, Tim rubs my back and eventually, I fall asleep. When I wake up it's because of lunch.

"Where did you want to go?" Tim asks.

"I want to go to Jack's place, he said I could in the letter. So, I'm gonna skip the rest of the school day and rest there."

Tim smiles at me and we are on our way to Jack. When I get there I start my walk up. Eventually, the door opens before I can knock.

"Hi, Nan."

"Hello Dear," she hugs me, I have to lean down to hug her back. "What brings you around?"

"Jack wrote me a letter," Her face lightens. She then holds up a similar letter she pulled from her dress pocket, and I smile.

"He said you could come and go as you please. Come, come, I have a gift for you," she grabs my hand. I turn to Tim's car and grin at him. I wave and he winks then drives away. "Jackson said to give you his spare key, so even if I'm not here you can come any time."

My mouth drops as she hands me a key. It's a fun key, painted like a guitar. I grin and hug her. I rummage through my pocket until I pull out my own keys. I attack his key to my chain, and my smile never leaves.

"Have some food, dear," she sits me down on the couch. Before I can decline she's already pushing some water my way. "Cookies? They just got done."

I laugh and accept. I can't wait to write to Jack about this. Her cookies are warm and soft in the middle, the chocolate melts on your tongue. Oh, I can't wait to brag to Jack about this.