It's been a week since that text. I've been crying, scared out of my mind. I can't leave my bed. I'm so anxious I've been throwing up, which hurts my ribs. I crave to see a text, to hear his voice, to feel his touch. Tim hasn't left my side, not even going to school. I've tried contacting the guys, but none of them are answering. I've tried calling and calling, but I'm sent straight to voicemail.

"It's not fucking fair," Tim hugs my crying self. "I want to fucking kill him! I want to fucking kiss him! I love him so much! I just want him to be okay! His stupid fucking parents! I want to kill them!"

"It's okay, Mac, he'll respond soon. You'll see that everything's fine, everything's going to be okay."

"His parents threatened to throw him away, then he disappeared after telling me he loves me. What if something happened to him? What if they did send him away? What if he just hates me, and he decided to end things?"

"No, Mac. That's not it. He loves you, you know this. He wouldn't break up with you by telling you he loved you. He said he'd see you soon. He's an asshole, but smarter than that."

"What if he lied, what if I never see him again?"

"You'll see him again, I promise. I'll help. Do you think you might know where he is?"

"No," I mumbled. I close my eyes and think. "His house is it, that's all I know of."

"Then tell me his address, and I'll drive and check."

"Take me with you, I have to see him."

"Mac, you shouldn't be leaving yet."

"I dont care! I'm going!"

He shuts up but nods. He helps me down the stairs and briefly tells my mom we're going to Jackson to check on him. Mom was hesitant, but when I told her I was not taking no for an answer, she agreed. We get into Tim's car, and we're on the way. Eventually, we pull up, and there are no cars in the driveway.

"His grandma doesn't have a car, I'm going up anyways." I unbuckle and open the door. Tim runs out of the car and helps me. Together we walk to the door, I ring the doorbell and wait. I get impatient, and as I'm about to ring again his grandma opens the door. I sigh, "Hi, Nan."

"Oh, you poor angel," she frows when she sees my face. "How did this happen, Love?"

"A few mean kids at school. I'm okay. Is Jackson home? I need to see him," Her frown deepens and she looks down. "Nan, what happened to Jack?"

"I'm sorry hun, his parents..." she starts and my heart drops. "They sent him to some Bootcamp," My eyes widen, my legs feel weak. "He went wild when he got home, he told them he wasn't straight and that he loved you. They didnt take too kindly to it. They said he was becoming a woman and needed to be taught to be a man. He won't be back for 2 months."

My heart shattered, and I fell to my knees, "No. No," I look up and tears stream down my eyes. "Please tell me this isnt real."

"I'm sorry, love."

"No!"

Tim squats next to me and hugs me. I sob. Jack is gone, they did send him away. Because he loved me.

"I need him!" I yell out into Tim's shoulder. "They can't do this!"

I feel Tim cry against my skin, and his grip on me tightens, "I'm sorry, Mac."

I dont know how long we sat there, but when I looked up Nan was sitting next to us, the door still wide open. I stop crying, instead, I just feel numb. Nan brings us inside, and my eyes sting. I head to the basement, Tim reluctantly following. I sit at his bar, seeing the dim and dark depressing basement. There's no life down here, unlike my first time here. I stand and turn on the lights, trying to get the familiar feel.

"It's not the same," I mumble and go to the bedroom. I open the door and turn on the lights. I lay down and hug his pillows, I breathe in his smell. It's calming, then I cry again. "It's not the same." I turn and see his small wardrobe. I stand and open the doors, I pull out one of his hoodies, pull off the one I currently have, and put on his. I snuggle into it, then lay back down. I pull out my phone and call Jack again, just to hear his voice on the voicemail.

"This is Jackson Neroni, please leave a message and I'll get back to you soon."

Just to hear his voice.

"Jack, baby," I croak out. "I fucking miss you, I miss you so much Jackson," I sob into the phone. "I love you. I'm so sorry you're parents sent you away because of me. I'm so sorry, baby. I love you so much, I'm sorry, I did this to you"

I end it and then scream, Tim runs into the room, scared. I scream again and he pulls me into a hug. Two months. Two months. I scream and sob. 40 minutes later, Tim is practically carrying me up the stairs and out of the house. Nan gives me a small smile, but she herself is crying.

--

I'm lying on the couch, sobbing quietly into Jack's hoodie which I wrapped around a pillow because it was too hot to wear. My mom is stroking my hair from the chair she's sitting on. Eventually, I fell asleep. When I wake up a plate of food is being set down in front of me. I turn over and stuff my face into the hoodie.

"Mac, you need to eat and take your meds," my mom says desperately, I dont move. "Malcolm, please," I still dont move. "Jackson told you to take your meds on time, with food. So come on."

I finally flip over and sit up. I put the food in my mouth and gag. I dont think I can eat. I'm already so nauseous.

"I'm serious, meds and food," the words replay in my head. I push the food into my mouth and swallow. I keep this up until half the plate is cleared. I put some water in my mouth, tilt my head back, put the capsule in, then swallow.

"You haven't seen anyone in days, do you want me to invite the group over?"

"Mom," I stop her, my voice cracking. "I dont think I can right now."

"Maybe you're friends are exactly what you need right now. It's been 2 weeks since you got out of the hospital, I think you're okay to have a little fun right now."

I think. My side is feeling better, the medicine is helping. It's still going to be another 4 weeks till I can go back to my normal life, start chemo again, and do any big movements. But, now I can walk around myself, and I can laugh and cry a little.

I grab my phone and power it on. I powered it off after my breakdown. I realized Jackson wasn't going to be able to contact me. I had Tim do some looking at the Bootcamp he's at. Cellular devices are a big no-no. They do a lot of military training there, lots of over-extortions, kill or be-killed workouts. I feel guilty as hell. I know he can handle himself, but he should be here with his friends. He shouldn't have been sent. All because he was open and said he loved me.

All my notifications rush through, the group chats, Tim, and even Dad. I didn't tell him I powered off my phone, so he's been messaging me during work.

"Hey," I send.

Rain: "He's back from the dead!"

Emilia: "Fuck yeah!"

Patrica: "We missed you dumbass!!"

Sara: "How are you feeling, Mac?"

Me: "Can we go to the park together? There's a lot I wanna say, not over text or call. I need you guys."

Pat: "Canceling all plans right now! When and where"

Em: "Same, It's good to hear from you."

Me: "Normal park for painting dates, 30 minutes."

Tim: "I'll pick you up, dont worry about it. Dont forget your pen. If anyone needs a ride, I'll be happy to."

Rain: "Told the fam I can't go out with them, I'll be there, I promise Mac."

Me: "I know, I love you guys, I'll see you soon."

I grab the hoodie as I sit up. "Park date with the gang," I smile at my mom. Her eyes soften and she kisses my forehead, I go upstairs and change. I throw on Jack's hoodie, it's starting to lose the smell. Then, Tims was outside waiting for me. Mom kisses me goodbye after giving me my pen.