"I'm not a saint, and I make mistakes
But next to you I'm holy."
~ Counting Crimes by Nessa Barrett

...♛...

Summer White

...♛...

After the eventful morning, the exhaustion finally took over and I was able to get in a few hours of sleep. Once I woke up, Alice insisted we spend the day out. I wasn't in the mood, but I also know that it might be weeks before I get the chance to go outside again so I agreed.

It's around three pm and we're currently at the mall. We've been here for about an hour and I haven't bought anything, but Alice has. I'm not having as much fun as I thought I would considering my face is everywhere. All I see are newspapers, magazines and TVs with the same headlines: Captain's Daughter Seen With Kai Black. 

We get it. I fucking get it. Okay? I was with Kai Black and have somehow betrayed the whole fucking state. Makes no fucking sense to me, but people love propaganda so it's not like anyone would give me the benefit of the doubt.

A part of me knew that my face would be plastered everywhere and I even brought it up to Alice. We came to the consensus of wearing hoodies and sunglasses. It's a good thing we did because no one has recognized me yet. We've got a few stares, but they're not as intense as they would be if people actually recognized us so it doesn't bother me.

"I want ice cream," Alice says.

"Let's go to the food court. I'm down for some ice cream too."

"Yes!" her ocean eyes glow like a child's and she takes my hand directing me towards the food court. I'm actually not in the mood for ice cream, or food at that matter, but I'm getting bored of looking at clothes and their absurd pricing. "I want a blizzard."

"Okay, I'll get something from DQ too then," I tell her as we get in line. The mall is packed, but luckily there are only two people ahead of us. It gives me enough time to go over the menu and decide what I want.

"I think I'm gonna get the peanut butter cookie dough with brownie dough pieces," she shares. "What about you?"

"Um... I'll get a blizzard with brownie dough pieces and a little bit of cocoa fudge."

"Ooh, that sounds good." I smile, nodding.

"Can you believe it?" A man and woman get in line behind us with their two toddlers. "The Captain's daughter dating Kai Black."

"Babe, the police is corrupt. We've always known this," her husband responds.

"Yeah, but this is just outright ridiculous. They're not even trying to hide it anymore," she speaks, clearly frustrated and believing the lies the media has constructed.

"It's okay, babe. They don't hurt normal people."

"It's not. I think we should reconsider moving."

"Mommy, can I get the Oreo blizzard?"

"Yes, baby you can."

"Me too," his sister says.

"I can help whoever's next!"

"Summer," Alice whispers next to me. I look at her breaking free from eavesdropping. I can tell by the look on her face that she heard their conversation too.

"Order for me," I tell her. She nods and I follow her to the till.

"I'll take a small peanut butter cookie dough with brownie dough pieces and a small blizzard with just brownie dough pieces and a little bit of cocoa fudge," Alice orders.

"It'll be a mini for the second one," I correct. Alice side-eyes me, but I ignore it.

"Okay. The extra stuff will cost extra," the cashier makes known.

"That's fine," Alice says. She pays for both of us and I thank her. We move to the side and wait for our order to be ready.

I don't get people who make opinions about others without getting all the information. The media doesn't even tell you half of it so you can't believe everything you read. Hell, you can't even believe everything you see at times.

"You're staring," Alice says.

"Is that so bad?"

"A little," she admits.

"So it's not bad to think the whole police department is corrupt because of a misrepresentation in the media about two people's relationship?" I speak loud enough for the parents to hear. Alice looks back at them. "What are you doing? Stop."

"No, you stop," she harshly orders.

"Is there a problem?" the woman questions.

Before I can reply Alice says there isn't. That doesn't hold me back though. I say what's on my mind.

"You shouldn't believe everything you read in the media and if you're that worried about crimes, then you shouldn't be living in Chicago. As far as the integrity of a police department goes, it's not dependent on the actions of an officer's daughter.

You should judge a department's worth on their actions and I would say that the Chicago police works day and night to keep these streets safe so you should be thankful. These men and women risk their lives every day and you wash all that away in one night over a headline that was put there only because it sells, not because it has any truth behind it."

"Two mini blizzards," the employee announces. I turn around and watch as he flips them.

"Thank you." I reach out to grab them, but as soon as my fingers wrap around the blizzard, I feel a sting in my left arm and a hole punctures the wall behind the employee. The blizzard drops on the floor.

Chaos erupts and I turn around witnessing it. People shove each other, running around to find a safe haven as a loud voice booms, warning everyone of a shooter. I rip the sunglasses off and put them in my pocket to get a better view of everything.

I look around to find the shooter and I see him. He's standing at the other end of the cafeteria with a gun in hand. There's no sound to warn us of the bullets because there's a silencer attached at the end. The man is wearing a mask so I can't tell who he is, but it looks like he's pointing the gun right at me.

"Summer, you're hurt," Alice grabs my forearm. I suck in a breath feeling the pain in my arm. I stick my finger in the hole of the fabric and stretch it to analyze the wound. It's just a graze, but it's deep enough for me to need a few stitches.

I quickly look back at where the shooter was standing before and find him making his way closer to us. In between us is a woman, who looks around my age, she seems nervous and maybe a little scared, but she's good at hiding it.

She's pale, even paler because of the situation we're in and I notice how her hand is on her stomach. She's wearing a hoodie so I can't tell if she's pregnant, but she might be.

The crying of a kid also rings in my ear and I spot the small toddler standing near the DQ counter crying for his mom.

"Alice, get the kid. I'm gonna help the woman," I instruct. She nods and we both don't waste time.

"Hey!" I yell running towards the woman. I run through the people and reach her within a minute. I take off my hood so she can see my face.

"Hey," she breathes. I look into her chocolate eyes and flushed skin. There's sweat glistening her forehead. She licks her lips relieved to see someone stopping to help her. "I-I c-came here with my friends, I don't know wh-where they are."

I nod telling her I understand. I take her hands in mine trying to get her to focus on me.

"We need to get you to safety," I tell her looking at the small bump under the hoodie. The rest of her is quite small so it's easy to tell that she's pregnant, even through the hoodie. She holds my hands tightly and nods, understanding. Her dirty blonde hair sticks to the sweat on her skin and I quickly brush it behind her ear as I look around in which direction we should go.

Alice is no longer in sight and I hope she has found her way out with the child. When I look in the direction of the shooter, I hear a gasp and the body that was running past us, falls back almost knocking down the pregnant woman. Luckily, she backs away and we watch the man fall to the ground between us.

When I look back at the shooter, I see a few men fighting him. The gun is no longer in his hands. I sigh relieved.

"Help me, please!" The man on the floor yells. I look down at him again and then I look at the pregnant woman only to find she's no longer there. I look back down at the man and I'm about to help him when a strong hand grabs my wrist. A part of me knows who it is even before I meet eyes with him and my suspicion proves to be right. Kai Black.

"Let go of me," I demand. I notice the darkness in his eyes, it's deeper than I've ever seen it. He's not in his business attire, rather something much more casual: a black hoodie and sweats.

Was this a targeted shooting? Also, why would he spend his day off at the mall? He doesn't seem like the type of man who enjoys shopping. Since there are no bags in his hand, it confirms my assumption. So what is he doing here? It can't be because he's following me. He has his men to that for him.

"We have to go," he states. He doesn't even wait for a response before he starts dragging me towards safety (I'm assuming). I look at the man on the floor. He's laying in a pool of his blood with a horrified expression. His eyes bulge as he watches his last hope being dragged away.

"Kai, I need to help him." He chuckles.

"What's so funny?" I yank my arm forcing him to stop. He doesn't let go of my wrist as he turns around. There's a murderous look in his eyes. I keep my stance refusing to show any fear.

"Imagine he's one of your victims."

"Excuse me?" I sneer.

"You let them all die." The words leave his lips in a matter-of-fact. His eyes beg me to say something. To fight. I feel it, a storm weaving inside me. Darkness so strong it could rip the whole city apart, but I won't let it. I won't let Kai get into my head and give him the reaction he wants.

"Let go of me yourself or I'll make you let go of me because God knows Kai, I'm gonna help that man even if I die doing it," I state. His lips part to say something, but something behind me catches his eye. He lets go of me only to roughly push me to the side.

"What the fuck!" I yell as I catch my balance a few feet away. I pull the hair out of my face and watch as Kai goes head to head with another masked man. This is a different man because he's wearing different clothes. When I look around, I find that more masked men have joined the original shooter. There are other men, unmasked ones, fighting against them.

The masked man is putting up a good fight, but Kai is managing well. I don't want to help him and I don't have to either, so I quickly run over to the body on the floor hoping that the silence is just the absence of consciousness, not life.

The man is too pale and I can feel that it's too late. I don't wanna give up, so to make sure, I check his pulse. First on his neck, then on his wrist. He's dangerously cold. It's a dead giveaway. It's too late. He's gone. I lick my lips sighing.

If Kai had just let me help him, he would've still been alive. All I had to do was put pressure on the wound so he wouldn't have lost as much blood and maybe we could have gotten help in time.

"Summer," I feel his hand on my shoulder. I grit my teeth and close my eyes anchoring my anger. I take a deep breath and stand up. There are only men fighting around us now. Every innocent bystander seems to be gone and I don't think anyone else is injured. The police are still not here.

I turn around meeting his eyes. There's sweat dripping from his forehead, but other than that, there is no indication that he was just fighting a man one on one. Not a single scratch.

"We-ugh," he groans. His body tenses. His eyes widen. They go darker before they become light. His body releases the tension and finally, I see over his shoulder spotting the masked man standing behind him. I hear him pull out the blade and Kai grunts fumbling forward.

...♛...

9 years ago

All my friends and family are waiting for me. Calling and texting me to come to the party already. I'm the birthday girl, yet the only person not at the party because I'm stuck waiting for Vincent, my oldest brother.

He always does that – takes every opportunity he gets to snatch happy moments away from my life. I can't believe dad left him in charge of me on such a meaningful day. He knows how much I despise Vince.

After an hour of waiting, Vince is finally free to drive me to the venue. I'm an impatient person, especially on my birthday because this was the one day I wasn't expected to do anything. I can skip training, eat all the junk in the world and binge-watch my favourite shows. Things are already awkward between Vince and me, so to avoid him, I sit at the back of the car and let him drive me like he's my chauffeur. Sometimes, he makes me wish that's all he ever was.

The drive is taking longer than I expected and the venue isn't even anywhere near the area we're in.

"Vince, why aren't we going to the venue?"

"Something came up and I have to handle it before we go to your party. For once, can you stop acting like a child and not complain?" Vince's tone was harsh as always. Today was my day, and he was taking it away from me.

"No, Vincent. You know how much this means to me. Why can't you just give up your job for twenty minutes? I'm not even asking you to stay." He avoids answering my question by pulling into an abandoned building. I'm stunned at how heartless he is.

"Stay in the car, I'll be back in a few minutes," his brown eyes are full of warning. He didn't want a response, just compliance in any way he could get it. I nod. Then I watch him disappear behind the cracked walls of the building.

I wait anxiously for him. My anger growing as every minute passes. My hands kept fidgeting with my phone. Surprisingly, the contraption is useless for once. I have no service in the area, so I can't call for a cab or even text someone to pick me up. Soon, the moon takes over the sun's spot. I had woken up extra early for my day, so I'm tired. I fall asleep an hour or two after the night sky takes over.

A knock on my window breaks my sleep. When I look out to see who it is, I spot my brother. I open my door and step out into the cold breeze.

"Is this what you call a couple of minutes?" I question crossing my hands over my chest. I won't lie, I'm scared of Vincent. I always have been. But the rage is strong today. It was my birthday. My one day off and he took that from me.

His expression is nonchalant. Like he could care less about my hurt. I already know this. He inflicts physical pain daily and feels nothing. Why would he feel any different today? I'm a fool. I guess I just hoped that he's at least pretend to care about the fact it was my birthday. That he is the reason it's ruined.

"It took longer than I expected. Father said everyone went home, so we should too," he responds.

"I hate to sound like a whiny little brat, but you turn me into one. I never asked for this life, but I go with whatever was given to me. I complain, rightfully may I add, but at the end of the day, I always come through for Father, Anthony, Dean and even for you. I'll always hate myself for that, I'll always hate you." This is the first time I've ever talked back to Vincent. He's not taking it well. His eyes bulge in surprise and the glare that follows, makes me regret my words, but I don't stand down. If I'm not expected to be a kid, then I'm not going to back down like one.

Before Vince can reply, his gasp takes over the echoing over the night. I watch in horror at the tip of a blade sticking out of his right side. The blade exits his flesh and the masked man standing behind Vincent pushes him to the ground.

My hand covers my mouth, stopping myself from screaming as Vince's death-like body lies on the ground. Before I can run or even fight the man who dared to touch my family, a pinch in my throat stops me. Someone behind me injected something into me. I instantly feel drowsy and before I know it, I'm out cold.

...♛...

Present

"Vince," I whisper through glossy eyes. Kai knocks into my shoulder, breaking me free of the horrid flashback. He tries to hold me for support but fails, landing on his knees beside me.

I look up finding myself eye to eye with the culprit. He looks down at Kai and I follow his gaze before we lock eyes again. His eyes are full of determination with just one goal in mind: finish the job.

We both move quickly. He steps forward, I step in front of him creating a barrier between him and Kai. I can see the glint of amusement in his eyes as he scans me. He thinks he's at an advantage because he's fighting a girl. Well, think again.

He charges at me with the knife, but I swiftly move out of the way and grab his arm in the air pulling it down on my knee. I hear his bone snap and the man lets out a pained scream. The knife clanks on the floor. The man falls onto his knees and before he can even try to fight again, I reposition myself in front of him. I pull his head into my knee as hard as I can and completely knock him out. His body falls to the ground in a loud thud.

I turn around and find Kai barely being able to stand on his own. The sweat has dampened his hair and his face is going pale yet his eyes hold the same intensity as before, if not more.

"I shouldn't help you," I swallow.

"You shouldn't," he says, holding our gaze. I take a deep breath looking around. There are still quite a few masked men and I think we're outnumbered at this point.

I should leave him. I know I should. He'll survive this without me, we both know this, so why can't I just walk away?

"Do you know an escape route?" I ask.

"My car is parked underground. It's private parking," he breathes. I can tell he's having a hard time managing the pain. I look down and see that there's quite a bit of blood he's lost. At this rate, if he doesn't get help soon, he'll bleed out. Call it karma if you will because the man he refused to let me help also bled out to death.

Kai's not refusing my help. He's not saying anything at all. He's letting me choose. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's a test to see if I'll let my need for revenge overpower my humanity or maybe he's just too pussy to ask for the help he needs, but either way, I decide I'll help him.

I take off my hoodie, leaving myself in a black Calvin Klein sports bra. He eyes me intently, forehead creasing in question.

"Lift your hoodie," I tell him. He does as he's told and I quickly tie the arms of my hoodie around him, covering the wound.

"Careful," he grunts. "Don't wanna cut off my blood circulation."

I roll my eyes. I stand straight and take his arm adjusting it over my shoulder so he can use me as support as we walk. He's quite heavy, but I manage to keep up with my right hand wrapped around his back.

"Why aren't the cops here?" I look back and notice the bodies lying on the ground. There are still a few men fighting and to my misfortune, one of them notices us walking away. I look back to the direction we're walking and lick my lips nervously. "You know a shortcut?"

"No, why?" he asks.

"Mmh!" I feel the pressure on my left side and hold myself from screaming. If Kai wasn't next to me, I would have fallen from the pain soaring through me. My left side feels like it's on fire and I'm afraid to look down.

"What happened?" he looks down at me. I look to our right and notice there's an exit door through one of the stores.

"W-we need to run," I tell him. "Can you?"

I look over my shoulder again and find the masked man occupied, fighting someone. I have a feeling the unmasked men work for Kai.

"We can walk fast," he says.

"Okay," I swallow, the pain starting to overwhelm me. "There's an exit through that store... we can steal a car."

"Okay," he says. We both quicken our pace and luckily, we make it out. The cool air instantly calms my nerves. Adrenaline finally kicks in, numbing the pain in my body.

There's a crowd of people surrounding the building and the parking lot, but they're all too focused on themselves to realize we're injured. We walk through them and as we enter the parking lot, Kai shows me a key in his hand. I look at him, mischief in his eyes. I'm impressed, but don't let it show. He doesn't deserve that acknowledgment.

He presses the lock button and the Honda we're standing next to, beeps. I smile like a lunatic. Luck is on our side today.

"I can walk to the driver's side," Kai says. He hands me the keys and he slowly stands on his own. I watch him carefully just in case he's unsuccessful with his attempt. He isn't. He's able to stand on his own and makes his way to his seat. I unlock the doors and head to the driver's side.

Once we get in, I start the car and reverse heading onto the main road. I watch as Kai inputs an address in the GPS. It's fifteen minutes away, just off the freeway.

As I drive, I wonder if Alice made it out. Maybe I should have stayed back and searched for her. I didn't even bring my cellphone because I didn't want Kai tracking my location. I'll go back once I drop off Kai and look for her.

"Cole's with Alice," Kai says. I spare him a glance before returning my eyes to the road. I don't question him because I'm too relieved by the piece of information.

I nod. The rest of the drive goes by silently. When I make it to the safe house, Kai gets out on his own. He's able to walk up the stairs to the door and enter a code to let us both in. I walk in after him.

"There's a first-aid kit in the bathroom down the hall, second door to the right," he shares. He vanishes behind a wall and I head down the hall to the bathroom. I search in the cabinets for the first-aid kit and find it. I head back to Kai and find him leaning over the kitchen counter, an unscrewed bottle of booze next to him.

"I'm pretty sure you need stitches," I say setting the kit down next to him.

"I know," he nods, not opening his eyes. I thought that maybe he didn't realize I entered the room because his eyes were closed, but he doesn't seem startled. "That's what the booze is for."

I get down and untie the hoodie throwing it to the side. He reaches back and hold's his hoodie up so that I can inspect the wound. It's pretty deep, but the lack of any other substance leaking from it tells me that the knife missed any major organs.

"Just take your hoodie off. I can't have you shaking like that when I have a needle and thread inside of you," I tell him as I stand. I move to the side and open the kit.

From my peripheral vision, I watch Kai push himself off the counter and pull his hoodie off. As I attach the thread to the needle, I turn shamelessly watching Kai. He groans as he throws his hoodie to the side and falls on the counter, his elbows taking the fall. He grunts and takes a deep breath. I watch the indents in his back tense before he stands again and grabs the bottle downing a few large shots.

During the few seconds, he gives me a sight of his front and not that I lack appreciation for a nice set of abs, I don't and neither do the parts between my legs as I unconsciously squeeze my thighs, it's just something else that consumes most of my attention.

He has the same scars on his chest as I do. I count about twenty, all scattered from his chest down to his abdomen before he sets the bottle down. Immediately, I avert my eyes and finish putting the thread through the needle.

Did Nick do that to him too? I wonder as I go through the kit. I look at the expiry date on the antiseptic and realize that it's been expired for a year. I can't use it to clean his wound.

"I need the alcohol," I tell him as I position myself behind him. He hands it to me without question. "This is gonna hurt," I warn. Then I pour the liquor on the wound and dap it with some cotton balls. He grunts holding the side of the counter tight enough to turn his fingers white.

I put the bottle back on the counter and start stitching. He flinches with the first puncture but relaxes soon after letting me finish within a couple of minutes. I pour some liquor on the stitched wound since I hadn't washed my hands before stitching him up.

"It's done," I tell him standing. He stands straight sighing heavily. I move back a foot to give him room as he turns around. He wipes the sweat off his forehead and brushes his hair back as he eyes me.

"You're bleeding, a lot," he says looking down at the drops of blood on the floor. I look at my side and realize that another bullet had grazed the left side of my ribs. I can't tell how bad the wound is through the fabric of the sports bra. I hook my fingers under the band and tug at the fabric stuck to the cut. I hiss and bite down on my bottom lip. If I lift the bra any higher, my boob is going to pop out but I still can't see the wound.

"I've seen tits before, just take it off unless you plan on bleeding to death."

"You'd hate that, wouldn't you?" I scoff. My eyes find his hoodie on the ground and I come with an idea. I grab his hoodie and turn my back to Kai. I put the hoodie on the counter as I take my bra off and then hold the black hoodie up to my chest to cover myself up.

I lift my left arm and examine the wound with the tips of my right hand as the arm holds the hoodie in place. The bullet missed the bone, but closing the skin with stitches is gonna be hard unless you're a professional.

"There's tissue adhesive in the first-aid kit," I tell him turning around. He nods and goes to the kit.

"It's not expired," Kai shares walking over to me. He sets the bottle down on the counter and I watch as he grabs a kitchen towel. He wets it with water from the sink and then cleans the blood around my would. He grabs another towel and wets it with alcohol to disinfect it. I bit down on the insides of my cheek.

Finally, he unscrews the glue. He looks at me and I nod. I hold the hoodie tightly with my hand as he inserts the glue. I swear it stings more than getting the wound itself. My breathing deepens and I feel like I'm gonna go into shock.

It feels like minutes, but I know it takes just seconds for him to be done. When he is, I turn to the sink and run the cold water. I drink straight from the tap letting the liquid tranquillize my body or maybe it's the lack of blood in my body, but I can't tell and frankly, I don't care.

"Your arm still needs stitching," he says. I turn the tap off and wipe my mouth. I stand, leaning my back on the counter.

"What's the point? You're gonna rip it open tomorrow anyway," I say.

"There are ways of causing pain without leaving physical scars." At least he's not denying it.

"If that's how you want to thank me for saving your life." He watches me intently, but nothing in his expression exposes what he might be thinking. A few more seconds pass before he turns and takes the needle. He disinfects it with the alcohol and adds thread to it.

I chug a few shots of booze and don't make a fuss as he works on my wound. It takes less time to stitch my arm than it did to stitch his wound. When he's done, I award myself another gulp of alcohol. Maybe I shouldn't because it already feels like I'm floating, but I want to feel good today. I want to feel freedom in every sense of the word until it's no longer mine.

"I need to shower."

"Down the hall, up the stairs, last room on the left. There are clothes in the dresser and towels in the cabinets inside of the bathroom." I nod heading in the direction he mapped out. Once I'm inside, I open the dresser and find that they're Kai's clothes. I briefly look around analyzing the simplistic room.

The walls are painted white with accents of black furniture. There are also a few abstract paintings, but other than that, there's not much to it. It makes sense though. I don't think anyone spends a lot of time here.

I grab one of his black shirts and head to the washroom. It's a doorless bathroom so I contemplate for a second not even showering, but I don't think Kai would come upstairs. Even if he does, I have nothing to hide.

I strip free myself of the dirty clothes and throw them to the side before I turn on the shower. I wait a few seconds to let the water reach the perfect temperature. Once I'm satisfied, I climb in. The hot water hurts my wounds and I become still trying to let the pain subside. It takes a minute.

I let the water wash away the blood and I massage my scalp trying to ease the forthcoming headache. When I look around, I realize that there are shampoos and conditioners for both men and women. I wonder who brought them. I've never heard about Kai being with another woman. I'm not naive though. I'm sure he's had quite a few around, but I can't be sure. He keeps his sex life private from prying eyes.

Having these products here is weird because it means that he must have someone he allows in his life. If it was just a girl who meant nothing to him, he probably wouldn't let her shower in his bathroom let alone keep her products. Maybe he doesn't like sleeping around with different women and just keeps it simple with one. Lets her stay around just for the sex and only gives her the bare minimum.

I don't know. I won't know for a while so there's no point in dwelling over it. Secrets reveal themselves in the subtlest ways before they're outright exposed so I keep this hint in the back of my mind. I pour some shampoo into my palm and lather it in my hair.

"Cole is on his way here with Alice. Alice wanted me to tell you she found the kid's family," I hear his voice behind me. I won't lie, I'm a bit startled because I hadn't heard him walk in. His voice is also clear enough and low enough to tell me that he's actually inside the bathroom and not telling me this information from his room.

I remain facing the wall, my backside facing the glass wall of the shower as I rinse the shampoo out of my hair.

"You couldn't wait to tell me this until after I got out of the shower?"

"I thought you'd want to know," he says. I don't respond. If he's expecting a thank you, he's not getting it. 

Once the shampoo is out of my hair, I turn to grab the conditioner. From my peripheral vision, I find the bathroom empty. I sigh, relieved. I finish the rest of my routine uninterrupted and pull on Kai's shirt. It ends mid-thigh.

I don't have underwear so I'm going commando. I don't care since it's not like I haven't done that around him before. I towel dry my hair as much as I can and decide to let the rest air dry. I head down to the kitchen and find him downing a few more sips of the alcohol.

"I'm assuming the attack was targeted," I say. I walk over to the island and take a seat on the barstool opposite of him. I rest my forearms and intertwine my hands on top of the counter.

He changed his clothes and I can tell he took also took a shower by the light glistening off his damp hair. I can't mistake it for sweat because the odour isn't there. Instead, it's the scent of his peculiar cologne. It's musky with a hint of citrus and cinnamon so light that it's hardly distinctive.

He sets the bottle down on the side. His palms rest flat on the counter with his arms stretched to the sides. The muscles in his arm are prominent with the strain and I avert my eyes to his face crossing my legs.

His eyes are lighter, silver like aluminum. There's not a single indication on his face confirming or even denying my claim. He doesn't even twitch to show me that he might give me some sort of response. I watch as his eyes devour me, thinking. I remain still, my hands now on top of one another resting on my legs.

"What are you wearing underneath?" The question is unexpected. I'm taken off guard. My head slightly shifts, but I hold myself back from letting the confusion display on my face.

"Nothing." He nods. A smirk stretching at the end of his lip. He pushes himself off the counter and saunters around the counter. I watch curiously until he's on my left. Then I watch him through the windows of my damp hair framing the side of my face.

He disappears behind me, but I can feel his presence: the heat radiating off his body, the hot air escaping his mouth on top of my head and the smell of his cologne stronger than before.

His cold hand lands on my bare arm. My body reacts quickly with a shiver that travels throughout. His mouth hovers over my ear, the hot air finding a path down, underneath the shirt. I take a deep breath as his hand moves down to my thigh then travels atop the bare skin stopping at my knee. He effortlessly turns me around in the chair to face him. A strand of my hair flies, landing across my face.

I look at him, my lips parted to let the air fill my lungs. It's strange how his eyes change colour with emotion. Mine always remain dark no matter what I'm feeling. I think it's an advantage. No one can tell what I'm feeling unless I let it show. With Kai, I can't read all his emotions but I can tell when there's a shift. That enough could be destructive for him.

His hand squeezes my knee forcing me to untangle my legs. He stands between them, his hand no longer on my knee. I feel the pressure between legs increase. The room is hotter but so quiet I can hear our breaths mingling, swirling in the air as they collide. The intensity in his eyes bore into mine as his hand lifts. I trace his finger until it rests right under the strand of hair on my face and he tucks it behind my ear.

I lean back trying to create some distance. The edge of the counter digs into my spine and it stops me from going any further. Kai closes distance again, remaining only a few inches apart. His left hand is now on my thigh. It travels up, under the shirt and rests inside of my thigh centimetres away from my core.

I find it hard to think with his hand there and his face inches away. I don't like him, but I can't deny what my body feels when he touches me in the way I want. The way he knows I need.

I don't care though. I won't succumb to his dark desires. My body is gonna have to live with the decisions of my mind. I know it's better than to let Kai take control.

"You're gonna rip away my freedom tomorrow," I breathe closing my eyes. I take a minute to string the words together. "We both know that. I'm not sure what you're gonna do to me, but you haven't denied that it involves pain. In your eyes, I deserve it. We'll never see eye to eye on that.

I won't ask for much in return. I don't think I have. I know I've already asked that my family stay unharmed and it remains as my main request, but I'd also like to add one more." He watches me, waiting for me to continue. His hand hasn't moved.

"Respect yourself enough to resist whatever it is you want. I'm not yours yet. Mentally, I never will be. Physically, it's only a day away." This is a low point. But I'd sacrifice myself over and over again for my family. They're innocent. I'm not. I've killed people and I'll suffer through the consequences.

He backs away in one move leaving a burning sensation on my thigh. I drop my head and my back lifts from the counter as I breathe letting the pain subside.

"I get you have misconceptions about me, but I would never rape you or anyone. Whether they're physically mine or not." I look up at him, his stance is stiff like my assumption has taken him off guard. There's this familiarity in his eyes though, something that tells me that his words aren't a ruthless attempt at manipulating my boundaries or a feeble attempt at making him seem better than he is.

I believe him. He didn't have to stop now and he didn't have to stop at the party, but he did. He only goes as far as I let him.

The front door clicks and we hear it open. Both our heads turn to the entrance of the kitchen. A few seconds later, Cole, Alice and Alec walk in.

"Here," Alice says handing me a small blizzard. I look at her, my eyebrows knitted. "I was hungry so I convinced him to take us through a DQ drive-thru."

"We thought everyone would be hungry so we bought food too," Cole sets the brown bag on the counter.

I nod. I stare at the ice cream in the cup and hold back a smile. The room had gotten too hot and this is exactly what I needed right now. I grab the red spoon and scoop out some ice cream stuffing it in my mouth. I bite down on the brownie dough pieces as the ice cream melts in my mouth. So fucking good.

I feel someone staring at me so I look up and find Alice looking at me. She shifts her gaze between Kai and me. I can tell she's asking if something happened as she eyes my clothes and wet hair. I shake my head. Ignoring her, I turn around in the chair and continue to munch on the blizzard. Alice takes the seat next to me.

Cole and Alec unpack the food.

"There are onion rings, fries, chicken strips and burgers," Cole announces as he sets everything out.

"Is the package secure?" Kai questions Alec from behind me. I hear Kai's feet shuffle until he comes into my line of sight, standing next to Alec. I act as if I'm too focused on eating my blizzard.

"Yeah, secure and delivered in perfect condition," Alec replies. Kai nods. It was a targeted shooting. Perhaps for the package. Whatever "it" is. "Did any of you get hurt?"

"Kai was stabbed," I tell them.

"Really?" Alice asks excitedly. She looks at him unsatisfied. "He's still alive."

"We got out together and I stitched up the wound for him." Alice scoffs.

"These men don't deserve you." The thing about Alice is that she can be quite unfiltered when she wants to. It's both a curse and a blessing. We all decide it's best to ignore her comment. "Wait, you were hurt too," she says looking at me with concern. She takes a hold of my right arm and spins me so she can see my left arm. I'm able to put the cup in my hand down before she does. She looks at me questioningly.

"Kai stitched it up for me."

"A bullet grazed her ribs too," Kai shares.

"What?" Alice gasps. She stands and pulls me off the chair. Before I know it, she's lifting my shirt.

"Alice, I'm naked!" I yell stopping her from lifting my shirt any higher. My face heats from the embarrassment. My back is towards the boys, but I'm sure Alice just made me flash my bare ass to all of them.

"Why are you naked?" Alice asks backing a foot away. Her eyes look between Kai and me for an answer.

"I took a shower and didn't have any clothes to change into except his," I tell her.

"Did you guys shower together?" Cole snickers. For fucks sakes.

"No. We didn't," Kai answers Cole. I've had enough for today. I only have the night left to myself and I'd like to use the time wisely. Not here with the same men I'm going to be seeing a lot more starting tomorrow.

"I'd like to go home," I state turning around. I meeting eyes with Kai. He nods.

"Cole give them your keys." He's not happy. He does it anyway. Alice takes them from him.

We turn around to walk away.

"We'll be there at nine tomorrow."

We stop. I nod knowingly without turning around then continue on our way out.

...♛...

Every human has basic needs: food, water, shelter and sex. As much as I know my body needs food, I can only down enough to keep me functioning. Nothing more or less. I drink water like it's air. I have a place to call home. So there's one thing left: sex.

I can't get it from someone else. At least I think. Kai seems like a willing participant, but there's probably a motive behind it. I don't need sex from him and frankly, I won't take it. Right now at least.

I'm still a Captain's daughter. I want it to stay that way. I don't want to lose my innocence and play Kai's games. There isn't any winning or losing for me. There's only protecting my family.

The Captain's daughter is a virgin and I intend to keep it that way. She'll die a virgin if it comes to it. The gang leader's daughter is a whole different story though and I hope she never has to fully come alive. She loves games and even more, she loves winning.

It's my last night as a free woman. I have to constantly remind myself to make the most of it.

We got home earlier and decided to watch a movie together. Alice cried once it was over and almost refused to let me go to bed. She wanted to spend every last second she could with me. I had to convince her that I needed sleep because it might be a while before I get any after this night. She understood.

We called it a night and I took another shower changing out of Kai's shirt. I wanted to feel sexy today so I wore my satin-laced nightgown. It's grey. I don't hate the gown itself, but I wish it was another colour. I wish it wasn't the same colour as his eyes.

When I walk out of the bathroom, I can see the red light of the camera blinking. It's recording. It's always recording, but I don't care. I head to my nightstand and open the drawer. To my surprise, it's there. My black vibrator and I smile at the sight of it.

I leave the drawer open and walk over to turn off the lights. It's dark in the room, but the curtains let in enough light to see. I climb into bed and reach into the drawer grabbing the vibrator.

I turn it on and the vibrations echo in the room. It's not as loud as it seems. It's just quiet and it's the only thing that's making noise at the moment. I smile like a child as I lay on my back, the soft pillow compresses under the weight of my head. I breathe out as I slide my dress up and let the vibrator rest on my clit.

"Fuck," I moan as I feel the vibrations all over my body. I close my eyes taking in the ecstasy as it increases by the second.

I'm floating. Walking on the clouds as the sunsets in flavours of cotton candy. It's like I can taste it. So sweet.

"Uh-mh," I moan as I arch my back and grind against the heavenly device between my legs.  My left hand grabs at my tits, I squeeze my nipple through the nightgown and in that moment, it feels like it's him again between my legs.

His fingers working away at my clit and my juices wetting the bed as I reach so close to my climax. I'd stop if I could, but this is in my head. No one knows what I'm thinking. No one needs to know.

I'm as high as I've ever been as wet as I can get. I've never been into penetration, a result of being raped, but if he was here, I'd beg him for it all.

It's here. It's slow and then it's fast. Like a volcano erupting and I bite down on the back of my hand holding myself back from screaming. There's pleasure. No pain. I'm high, but the fall is calm and steady. It's gentle and it washes over me like a wave as the ocean finally settles.

My eyes rip open and I look at the bite marks on my hand. My orgasms have never been as good as this. Ever. I won't admit the reason behind it out loud. These desires are dark. Unforgiving. I shouldn't feel anything towards him even if it is just physical.

It can never be just physical.

I don't ponder on it too long. It's a waste of time. Nothing will ever come out of it. I won't let it.

...♛...

I had one of the best sleeps of my life last night. It was blissful and everything I could have wanted on the last day of my freedom.

Unfortunately, the morning has been dense. We woke up around seven am. Alice cooked me a delicious breakfast: blueberry pancakes with whip cream and chocolate milk. Then we packed my stuff into two suitcases.

The whole time she refused to look me in the eyes and barely said any words. She was quick and short with her words. It was out of character, but I didn't push her to act normal. Nothing about this was normal.

Cole's taking both my suitcases to the car. Kai and Alec are waiting downstairs, but haven't come up. They're giving us the privacy to say our goodbyes.

I can see the tears in her eyes daring to come out, but she holds them back trying to be strong for me. I hold back my own as I engulf her in a hug. It only lasts a minute because if we stayed in the embrace any longer, I'm afraid I wouldn't have let go.

"Take care of dad and yourself, okay? Don't get into trouble." She nods. "Make due on the promise?"

"Mm-hm," she responds. I can tell she doesn't want to talk because if she does, she might just break out into sobs. She can't even look me in the eyes.

I nod knowingly. I flash her a small smile and take a big deep breath. I'm ready. Or as ready as one can be in this situation. I'll thank Kai for one thing: the heads up. He didn't rip me away without a warning as Nick did. The only thing is, I can't tell which one was easier.

"It's time to go," Cole says from the door. I spare a longing look towards Alice before turning around. I start to walk away when I hear a whisper so quiet I would have mistaken it for the wind.

"I'm sorry," I hear her whisper. I stop in my tracks, stiff. I want to turn around and tell her it's not her fault but I know if I see her face now, it'll be harder to go. Instead, I take a deep breath and keep walking towards Cole.

I step out of the apartment and Cole closes the door behind me. "She's not allowed out," Cole explains. I nod.

Cole follows behind me as we head down the stairs. My phone starts to vibrate in my pocket and I stop in my tracks looking back at Cole. He shrugs and I reach into my pocket taking out my phone.

Dad was calling me earlier, but I didn't pick up. I know I should have but I didn't have it in me to listen to his voice. I had hurt him too much already and I wasn't willing to do more damage. I thought that it'd be him again, but it's not.

It's the police department. Why is the department calling me? I pick it up.

"Hello?" I look back at Cole who's looking at me curiously.

"Summer, it's Henry." He's a colleague and friend of my dad's. His voice is shaking. I don't like this. "There was a shootout this morning, Summer. Your dad... we tried to help him, but he didn't make it. I'm sorry.

It's all over the media and I wanted to tell you before you saw it otherwise we would have come in person. We're still going to come down there. Okay? Hold tight. Summer?... Summer?"

I heard him. Loud and clear. Every word registered in my head, but I don't respond. I bring the phone down and end the call. I grip the railing hard enough to turn my hand white.

I see red. Crimson. Seas of it.
Endless seas of crimson red.

"Who was it?"

"My dad," I answer. I look at him for any signs of admission. Of guilt. Of regret. There isn't. He nods. They really do take me to be a fool.

They killed him. It won't go unnoticed. It's not Cole I want. It's their leader. Kai Black. The man who calls the shots. The man who demands the execution.

He's up for trial.

Verdict: guilty.

Sentence: death.

I turn and keep walking down the stairs. Everything feels like it's in slow motion. I can hear Cole typing away at his phone behind me. He knows something happened. He feels it too. He's warning them. I don't care.

I walk out of the building, the sun isn't out. It hardly ever is in Chicago. It's cold, crisp with a slight breeze.

Kai's standing in front of a black GMC truck with Alec by his side. I ignore Alec. My victim today is Kai Black and anyone else who tries to stand in the way of me getting my justice.

Our eyes connect as I walk up to him. He's dressed in one of his suits. I wonder how many deaths are owed to it. How many people he had to kill to make it to where he is today. How many he continues to kill to keep it all in his hands.

"Summer White," I introduce myself. It's not as a Captain's daughter. I'm not a Captain's daughter anymore. There is no Captain.

I'm Summer White the daughter of Xavier and Hope White. The daughter of a gang leader. The sole daughter of The White Dragons.

"Kai Black." He firmly shakes my hand. His eyes are dark. He's prepared for defiance. An attack. "Are you ready?" I nod. "Then watch this." He looks up at something behind me. I turn around following his line of sight.

I hear banging from one of the windows and see Alice. Her screens are muffled behind the window. Clouds of black smoke seep through the cracks. Tears brim my eyes, I feel my lungs failing to catch the oxygen in the air.

I reach under the band of my leggings and grab the knife I had hidden earlier. With one swift move, I spin around nicking Kai's neck just before I jab the knife into his shoulder. I pull the knife out and then stab Alec's hand as he tries to reach for me.

"Fuck!" he yells looking at the knife in his hands. They're both too disoriented to stop me, so I turn towards the building. The only person in my way is Cole. My fists are clenched at my sides. My anger grows as the clouds of smoke travel through the building and I can see it behind him.

There are others inside. It's not just her. I can hear others screaming for help too. They're not as young as we are. They'll die too. The alarm isn't going off. They must have dismantled them. They're sick.

...♛...

9 years ago

I cough violently into my arm as I walk away from the building decaying from the fire inside. Some of the girls are out, some are still inside. I can hear them.

I don't turn around to look. This is it. Freedom. It's mine. I hardly got it. I won't let it go that easily.

Tears rush down my face and I sniff as I limp. I don't know where I'll go. How far I'll get. But I'm not stopping.

I'm out. I'm not his anymore.

The screams of terror are haunting but I refuse to look back. I won't go back into the flames even if I started them. I make it out of the illuminating glow of the fire and into the cover of the night away from the screams.

It's mine. I have it. Freedom.

They won't be able to find me during the night and it'll be days before they even notice I got away. They might just think I'm dead. If they don't and they realize I got away, it'll be too late. By then, I'll be gone. Somewhere far away from here. From this life.

I'll forever be grateful to the lives sacrificed.

It's the cost of freedom.

My freedom.

For some, our freedom.

...♛...

Present

I don't have time so I charge for him. He expects the attack and easily blocks my punch, but doesn't expect me to push him with my foot behind his. He lands on his back and I'm able to land a punch to his eye. He groans and I stand, stepping past him to go towards the stairs. He grabs my foot but I use all my force and rip his hold off of me.

"Summer!" Alice yells. "Summer!"

"I'm coming!" I grab the railing and propel myself up the stairs. The black smoke makes it impossible to see anything. It stings my eyes and the heat burns my skin. I start to sweat. I can hear the crackling of the fire as it eats away at the old wooden structure.

"No, you're not." I hear Kai first. Then I see his arm wrap around my waist. I hold onto the railing so tight, I think I dislocate my shoulder when he yanks me back, forcing me to let go. I cry in agony as he slams me against the wall.

"Ah-ugh!" I yell. My head is dizzy from the impact. My knees want to cave, but he holds me up with a strong hand to my shoulder. My left arm feels numb.

Guilt, shame and rage swallow me whole at the sight of him. "Fuck you!" I spit on his face. He flinches. His jaw clenches as his eyes pry open with a seething look. "We had a fucking deal!" I pound the side of my fist on his chest. "You killed my dad and now you're killing her!"

"What?" his eyebrows knit. I can't do this. How can he act innocent? He's killing her in front of me and making me watch. I take this moment and lift my knee between his legs. He grunts grabbing his dïck as he falls to his knees.

I take a step closer to him and grab his face making him look at me. My left shoulder is dislocated. It's not as strong, but I force it to function through the pain. His eyes are glossy from the fight and smoke, but there's no regret in them.

He's welcoming death.

"I should have killed you a long time ago." My hold on his head tightens. I look up, but I can't see through the smoke. The tears blur my limited vision. Alice's intermittent screams are the only indication of life and I'm afraid I'm going to lose tonight. At least, it won't come without retribution.

I twist his head to one side, but before I can twist it to the other to snap his neck, I feel a pinch deep in my throat. My hold loosens around Kai's head and I'm still until Alec pulls the needle out.

I bring my arms to my sides and turn, looking at Alec. I blink letting the tears fall down my face. It's a high, a panicked high. I don't want to feel it, but I have no choice. The sedative takes over and I lose control over my muscles.

I fall back, my arm hits the wall but my body doesn't hit the floor. Kai's arms catch me and I see his eyes just before the darkness consumes me.

A/N:

So much to unfold here.

Damn.