Driving back home from a long day of working with different category of people had her brain in overdrive. All Emily wanted to do was climb under her covers, go straight to bed and make up for her lack of sleep of the past twenty four hours; and maybe cuddle close to her man while he kissed her forehead and made her feel safe_but that was just wishful thinking. She had no one but herself.

Investors were looking real good at her, at least that was something to smile about. It compensated her lonely life. It made her extremely happy to think about how far she'd come. How much progress she'd made over the past couple of years. How, although it had been hard, she'd pulled through. Alone.

She pulled into the estate of her home finally letting the stress of the past week fall on her shoulders.

A hot bath and a peaceful sleep was all she needed right at that moment. And maybe a cold glass of wine.

Her mama was coming over to hers this weekend and she desperately looked forward to it. The head massages, foot rubs, motherly care and wonderfully cooked pasta she always knew how to whip up. That was something to look forward to. She missed being her mama's baby. Or anyone's baby.

Grabbing her office files, handbag, water flask and keys, she locked her car and took the brisk walk into her home.

Another lonely Friday evening staying at home.

But she welcomed it.

She enjoyed it.

The peace, the calm, the serenity. It was everything for her. Everything she basked in, in that moment of her life. It was better than dry humping ugly horny frat boys or waiting for a call or text from a certain someone she thought she wanted forever with.

No, she shook her head. She wasn't going down that path again. This was it. This was the life. The "loneliness" was peaceful.

Emily couldn't believe there was a time in her life she was desperate...

"No." She muttered and shook her head as she threw her stuff onto the couch. She willed herself not to think about it again. She wasn't going down that path.

It was self destructive.

This was better.

After running a hot bath and spending hours in it till her body ached from being in the water too long, she gathered herself and prepared for bed.

Tomorrow her mama would be here and the house wouldn't be so quiet anymore.

With those thoughts, she gathered herself to sleep; that was until her phone rang and penny was on the phone.

"Not you again penny. No, I'm not coming, don't bother asking." Emily spoke into the phone rubbing her palms on her forehead, already feeling a headache coming.

"Oh come on, Emily. It's just one night. It won't hurt." Penny whined into the phone. For a twenty six year old, she sure did act like a fucking teenager.

"No. I've said that before and I'm saying it again. Jesus, penny, give it a rest. I'm not coming. I've had a very long day_No, week at work and I'd really like to go to bed if you don't mind. Goodnight."

"Wait, no-"

But Emily already hung up.

The phone rang again.

Emily groaned.

"Penny, I said-"

"Marcus is getting married tomorrow." Penny rushed out.

One.

Two.

Pause.

Repeat.

What?

"Emily?..."

"Emily? Are you there..?"

The beeping sound of the line going dead was the last thing she heard as she tapped the end call button. She flipped it over but on second thoughts, she put her phone on flight mode.

Yep. She was definitely not over him.

And Penny fucking knew that.

That... that sly penny! How dare she? How..

Emily couldn't even find the right thought process to process how she felt and she knew if she didn't stop and relax in the next minute, she was going to freak out.

That should've been her.

Whoever that bride is_should've been her.

It should've been her!

She grabbed her phone and hauled it across the room. It bounced against the wall to the floor with a shattering sound. She didn't even have the time or head space to mourn her phone or the contacts and important documents and informations she had on that phone.

It should've fucking been her.

A small sob racked her body and she palmed her face as she cried into her hands. "It should've been me. It should've been me. It should've..." She paused, raised her head, sniffed and wiped her face, "no," she sniffed again as she cleaned her face. "I deserve better. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm good."

She patted her face and sniffed once more as she tried to regain composure. "I'm good, I deserve better."

But curse penny for bringing this to her.

On second thoughts... she glanced towards her closet, maybe she should really reconsider clubbing tonight. Drinking and grinding on strangers would get her mind off things with the back nerving music.

She looked towards the wall where her phone had hit.

But now...there was the phone issue.

There's another. A small voice whispered in her head.

Did she really want to fuck up her routine cause she just found out her ex was getting married?

Emily of a year ago would've done that but no, he has taken so much from her already.

You might find someone new. The small voice whispered again. "Shut up." She muttered.

Betraying ass voice, it was supposed to be on her side.

Marcus wasn't worth it. She deserved better and she'll get better.

The doorbell jolted her from her near sleep state. Who the fuck could that be? She glanced at the wall clock to her side. It was ten in the fucking evening. She had no friends or any one for that matter.

She paused.

Penny.

She felt complete annoyance at that moment as she flung the duvet to the side, grabbed her pajamas cover and went downstairs with so much determination and adrenaline pumping in her veins.

Oh, Penny was so going to get it now.

She flung the door open.

"I know what you're thinking-" Penny started as soon as the door was opened.

"Penny–."

"No, Emily, I'm so sorry," Penny pushed past Emily into the house, shrugging her waist coat off and hanging it. She shrugged her shoes off and turned back to Emily. "I am sooo sorry but Emily you can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?"

"This!"

"Look Penny, I'm not ready for your drama tonight." Emily deadpanned.

"You can't keep living like this Emily. Being in denial won't help you. You still have feelings for him and I know that." She walked up to Emily and placed her hands on her upper arms and looked at her in the eye.

Emily avoided her gaze.

If it were any other person, all hell would've been let lose but it was Penny we were talking about. Penny saw her at her most vulnerable and no matter how much she tried to hide it or pretend, Penny always found a way to see her soul. Her initial anger forgotten, Emily was somber now.

"Yeah" She coincided and shrugged her shoulders. "So what?" Her eyes were still downcast, looking anywhere but at Penny.

"Look at me Emily. That's okay, okay? And that's okay. He hurt you and he's a bitch for that but you can't let him have control over your life for the rest of your life. Come outside, come have fun. Do something new. Stop staying in all the time, it's not helping."

"I don't stay in all the time. I have work."

"Emily." Penny warned.

Emily sighed. "Just tonight."

"No," penny shrugged, "but if it gets you outside I'm cool with it. You know I won't stop bugging you. Now go on, go get dressed."

Emily sighed again and began the short trek upstairs. Oh Penny, what was she going to do with her?

She really did want to rest though... but partying one night won't hurt. And who knows? Maybe, she might find her new Prince Charming.

***
Next update: monday 7pm W.A.T.

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