A Thorn In My Side

"Wait up," Clara said, spying something in the shadows, "what's that?"

Following the path of her pointed finger, Jacob stooped down, picking up a name-badge bent in half. "Uh, it says Henry Birch," he said uneasily, making Clara's face fall.

"Where's the rest of him?" Archie said, glancing around him.

"Here," Cassandra answered from around the corner.

"Don't wander off, Cass!" Jacob admonished, tearing after her, only to skid to a halt at the sight in front of him. Cassandra was half slumped against a wall, a pile of bones lying at her feet, along with the remains of what once been a pinstriped suit. "Oh," he said, tugging at his shirt collar.

"I - I can't do this," Cassandra said, sliding to the floor, wrapping her arms around her head, "there's too many dimensions for me to deal with." The others looked at each other, at a loss what to do next. Without Cassandra, they were marooned here. She had been leading them through the Labyrinth, shouting into the shadows, hoping a human voice would answer, making their mission worthwhile. But silence was the only answer they'd received, and now Cassandra was collapsing on them, before they'd even reached the heart of the maze.

"You can, Cassie," Jacob said, kneeling down beside her.

"I can't!" Cassandra wailed, "I just can't!"

"Yes, you bloody can!" Clara said, startling them all. "So get to it, girl!"

"You don't trust me," Cassandra said quietly, blue eyes brimming with tears, "and you can't. I let you down once, and I've been doing it ever since - I'm doing it right now, Clara!"

"You... you did me over, Cassie," Clara said, her voice cracking, "but you didn't let me down. I'm only here because of you."

Cassandra looked at Clara for a long moment. "I - I can't hold it," she said quietly, mouth trembling, "it's - it's too much."

"Close your eyes," Jacob instructed, taking her hands in his, "and focus on your other senses."

"Me and my other senses don't get along so well," Cassandra said, smiling weakly.

"I'll be your senses if you'll be my sat-nav," Jacob almost teased.

Cassandra nodded, biting her lip.

"So just close your eyes," Jacob repeated, "and see the map inside your head."

She shut her eyes, wrinkling her retroussé nose.

"I'll lead you through," Jacob said gently, "so follow me..."

~*~

"Hold your horns, what was that?" Archie said, skidding to a stop.

"What was what?" Cassandra asked nervously, opening her eyes, only for Jacob to cover them with his hand.

"That," Archie said, jabbing his hoof in the direction of a distant scream. They all looked at each other, before taking off, following the sound like Ariadne's ball of thread, only to collide with Flynn and Jenny from earlier.

"Fancy meeting you lot down here," Flynn said, straightening his cuffs, "and off we go again!"

"Minotaur?" Clara yelled as they ran.

"How did you know?" Flynn yelled back.

"A wild guess," Clara countered.

"Who's the broad?" Jacob bellowed, glancing at the girl.

"You've met before," Flynn explained, rounding a corner, "back in reception."

Jacob frowned, clearly confused. "She a sacrifice?" he hazarded.

"And the last," Flynn flung back.

"Wait!" Cassandra cried, stumbling to a stop. For a moment, the world was as it was, then the frescoes flickered and faded, becoming bland beige. "This way," she said quickly, leading them down the corridor.

"It's okay," Jacob said, falling into step beside Jenny, "you're safe now."

"With Jacob's manly arms around you, you'll always be far from the fray," Flynn smiled smarmily, making Clara roll her eyes.

"In here," Cassandra called, tottering to a halt in front of a rather dodgy looking door. "This is where we need to be."

~*~

"I'll just shut down the lasers," Ezekiel smirked to himself, flipping a switch, pleased at how well his latest theft was progressing. "And that ball of thread is now mine oh mine," he said, striking a pose, before swaggering over to the glass cabinet where it was displayed.

"I don't think so," a voice said, making Ezekiel whirl around, only to see the legendary spurned CEO of Archie's ass-wipe youth pointing a gun in the direction of his head. "Step aside smart-ass," she spat, her finger curling around the trigger.

"Um, hi Akatha?" Ezekiel said, wincing a little. "Or is it Miss. Willis nowadays, Karen even?"

"You were instructed to report to Human Resources," Karen said, jaw tightening.

"I wasn't digging the vibe down there," Ezekiel said, backing away, "the skulls are sort of spoiling the mood, y'know?"

Karen looked at him for a long moment. "Oh, you were with the freak-show from earlier, another one of Archimedes's converts," she then sneered, "his taste in groupies seems to have changed though," she said, eying Ezekiel with disgust.

"I would totally subscribe to the Twitter feed of a talking goat."

"I saw Flynn Carsen's also joined Archimedes's ranks," Karen said, advancing on him, "along with half of the Round Table."

"We accept your surrender," Ezekiel said, holding his hands up, brow furrowing slightly, not understanding her Arthurian reference

"You seriously think you can stop me?" Karen said in disbelief.

"I do," Ezekiel grinned.

"Golden Axe has been sacrificing innocents to the Labyrinth for three thousand years, so I think it's a little bit late in the game for you to start now" -

- "If you want to get revenge on your ex, date a guy that's hotter than him," Ezekiel advised. "Don't start sacrificing your self-respect as well as a few innocents."

Karen stared at him, her lips trembling. "This - this isn't about Archimedes," she said, "not anymore. It's about power" -

- "The power of love!" Flynn boomed, bursting through the door, the others piling in behind him. "Isn't it a wonderful thi-a-a-ng" - only to stop dead in his tracks at the sight of Karen's gun trained in his direction - "and don't die for me again, Clara, once was quite enough, thank you very much," Flynn finished, forcing Clara behind him.

"Carsen," Karen said, acknowledging him.

"Karen," Flynn acknowledged in return, "or Miss. Willis, even Akatha."

"Hello there," Karen then sing-songed over his shoulder at Clara, "didn't we cross curses at Baba Yaga's baby shower?"

Clara just looked blankly at her, confused.

"I didn't recognize you at first, not with the candyfloss curls," Karen continued, unperturbed, "but it hit me during a boardroom meeting later on. Quite the shock, I should say."

Clara patted her hair into place self-consciously, even more confused now.

"Where's the other one?" Karen fired at Flynn. "Is he off on another quest?"

"He's here and there," Flynn said, shifting from one foot to the next, not liking where this was going. He'd left Jenkins back at the Annex, and for good reason, this reason.

"I used to jive with Jenkins," Karen said nostalgically, "not that he'd remember. Circe made sure that he wouldn't, which is just typical of her."

As she spoke, Archie tried and failed to become invisible.

"Nuh, huh, honey," Karen said, shaking her finger at him, "that trick won't work in here. Trust me, I've tried."

Archie swallowed hard.

"Did you not see the headlines, sugar?" Karen said, shaking from head to foot now. " 'Akatha Abandoned at the Athenian Altar by Archimedes.' The alliteration alone would have killed me, never mind the humiliation!"

"Uh, can we return to the matter at hand, please?" Jacob interjected. "Like how you're sacrificing your staff to an ancient being?"

"Oh, Circe is mad at you," Karen said, aiming her ire at him now, "and you were supposed to report to Human Resources," she snapped, rounding on Jenny. "Are you that dim you can't follow a direct order?"

"What to die?" Jacob flared up.

"Whatever," Karen said, halting him with a heavily manicured hand, "kids today have no initiative."

"I completely agree with you," Circe said, stepping out from the shadows. "No initiative at all."

Oh, at dawn
I'll face the edge of thorns
Oh, at dawn
I'll pray at the edge of thorns...