"I'm so sorry Tom. I have to leave."

What.

"Leave? Leave where?" I sat back up and looked him straight in the eyes, but he looked down at the floor to avoid them. That's not a good sign.

"Home," he said in that same small voice. "I can't stay here anymore."

"And why can't you?" I stood up, which made my whole head throb, but I ignored the pain and went over to him. He still wouldn't look at me, he just pressed himself further against the wall and looked down at his shoes. He shook his head instead of answering.

"Jordan what is it? Did I do something wrong? Is it the fat thing? I told you I was sorry, I didn't mean it any of it. You're practically sex on legs, and actually fat isn't even a negative term so-"

"It's not the fat thing..." He mumbled sadly. I got closer. We were inches apart now, and he was trying his best to dissolve into the door.

"Then what is it?"

Another shake of his head.

I took one of his hands and squeezed it, before grabbing his chin and tilting it up so I could see his eyes. They went blank as soon as they met mine. What the hell?

"Tell me. You can tell me anything."

That's when the dam broke. He gave one last shake of his head before bursting into tears and grabbing my waist. He sobbed and sobbed and sobbed for ten minutes, and I had no idea what to do or say except rub his back and promise him it'll be okay. And finally, after fifteen minutes of him sobbing against my chest, he muttered something between sobs that really broke my heart in two. "I'm not good enough..."

"Good enough for what? Good enough for me?"
He nodded against me, still sobbing.

"Jordan, come on. You're perfect. I don't know why you think you aren't. If I was that perfect I'd be screwing every celebrity in Hollywood." It was meant as a joke, but he took it hard and his sobs got louder.

"I don't want to screw anybody!" He shouted miserably.

"Then you don't have to! Nobody's gonna make you do anything you don't want to, and I certainly won't. Why are you still crying? There's nothing to be sad about."

He was hiccuping now, and that's a bad sign. I've had experiences with hyperventilation and hiccuping between sobs is a sign that he's more than likely about to.

"I-...don't want-..." He couldn't finish his sentence because of the hiccups. I wrapped both arms around him and tried my very best to calm him down. I did that slow shushing Sonja used to do to me, I rubbed his back in circles, I hummed the chorus of a Fall Out Boy song. It wasn't working too well.

"Hey you need to calm down, okay? I'm gonna say breathe in and you're going to do just that, and then I'm gonna say breathe out and you're gonna do that too. You ready?" I pulled away from him and he weakly tried to grab on again, but I kept him pressed against the door with my hands. After a two minute struggle, he finally gave up and nodded.

"Breath in."

He tried, he really did, but it just resulted in more sobbing. If I don't stop him soon, he's most likely gonna hyperventilate. I put both hands on the sides of his head and tilted his head up so he could see my eyes. "Calm. Down. If you don't stop sobbing I'm gonna have to tickle you until you piss yourself."

He giggled a little, but then he remembered something and went straight back to crying his heart out. Ugh.

It was a little weird what I did next. My mum, before I started hating her guts, used to sing to me when I went to bed. She'd sing this song that I thought was the most beautiful song ever created, and it would always lure me to sleep or calm me down, whichever she was trying to do. The last time I saw her I had come back home after Nade left me. She was happy to see me, but I was a walking mess. Right when she opened the door and we met eyes, I completely broke down. I stayed home for one day. She made me cookies and sang me that song all day, holding me and telling me everything was gonna be okay. And then my dad came. It wasn't even two minutes later and I was running out of the house as he shouted curses at me and threw empty beer bottles in my direction. My mum was crying. I was too.
I gathered him up in my arms and I sang it. I thought of home and my mum and sister and my old room. If I knew my dad wouldn't be there, I'd go back. I miss Alice. I bet she's already moved off somewhere now, married with three kids like she always wanted. And my mums alone at home, not knowing where the hell I am or where I went to. I wonder if she still loves me. I know I still love her.

He stopped sobbing and the hiccups were gone too. He was swaying with me as I sang, and I assumed he liked the song too. When it ended and the room was completely silent, he finally spoke up and said something without crying during it.

"I'm guessing you liked to watch Wizard of Oz a lot, huh?" He giggled quietly, wiping at his eyes with his hand.

"...what's Wizard of Oz?"

"The movie, with Dorothy and the scarecrow and the-...you've never watched it? You just sang the whole beginning song."

"My mum used to sing that song."

"Oh. Well it's a pretty song. You sing really well."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure...you gonna tell me why you were having a sob fest a few minutes ago?"

"I'll start crying again if I talk about it...but I really do need to go home for tonight. I need to check on some things. I'll be back tomorrow though, if you still want me here."

"Can't I just go home with you and stay there for two weeks?" I snorted. His eyes lit up at the suggestion, like I'd just told him he won the lottery or something, not like I just sarcastically asked if I could come over to his place.

"Really? You want to?" He asked excitedly, beaming like a little ray of sunshine. It's amazing how quickly he can go from completely in tears to jumping up and down with excitement.

"Well Tucker and Sonja are coming back tonight...I don't really want to hear two hours of them babbling on about the convention, and then another two hours of them questioning what the hell happened to my face. It'd be really convenient if you don't mind-"

"Of course I don't mind! You don't know how bad I feel about Max and the others doing that to you, but I had no idea Erin was gonna call them and tell them to come down here and hurt you. If I had known I would've called her earlier and told her the truth."

"Who were those guys anyway?" He didn't seem to know that Evan guy too well, and he and Max didn't seem like they were the best of friends.

"Um...just some guys I record videos with. Well...Evan, I don't really know him that well but...Max knows him so I guess that's why he was here. And you know...Nicks my...editor." By the way he was slowing down his words and shortening his sentences, I knew he wasn't telling the whole truth. But what's there to lie about?

"Just your editor? Sounds like you're holding out on me Sparkly dick. Better tell me the truth." I touched foreheads with him and smirked, causing him to roll his eyes and scoff.

"Your threats are no longer intimidating, not after I just watched you get your butt kicked."

I decided to go a different approach. "Please tell me the truth? I think I deserve it after getting beaten to death and almost kidnapped. They were gonna tape me to a lamp post, completely naked in the middle of LA. Max even threatened to break my arm in half. I'm traumatized Sparklez..." I stuck out my bottom lip for emotional effect.

He melted under my pity spell.

"Ugh...Nick and I used to go out...Max was my boyfriend for almost a month once...I accidentally kissed Evan while he was drunk at a YouTube party. I'm just glad Nick didn't get Ryan to come. He's twice the size of Max and he would've killed you."

I smirked again, satisfied with my prying the truth out of him. He was a popular little thing, wasn't he? And I bet some of those guys still have the hots for him by the way they kept looking at him. "And who's Ryan to you?"

He twisted in lips in a weak attempt to keep the truth hidden, but I rubbed a bruise on my face and whimpered in front of him, which caused the rest of the truth to spill out. "We dated for three months..." He admitted, groaning.

"Thank you. Now you gotta tell me how those relationships ended."

He whined and tried to make a beeline for my room, but I caught him around the waist and yanked him back, pressing his body firmly against the wall with both hands pinned against the sides of his head. He pouted.
"I don't wanna. This is nonconsent, I'll call Max and tell him to come back."

I chuckled. "You wouldn't, you feel too sorry for me. Look at my broken nose Jordan...it hurts so much. Look at my black eyes, aren't they just the saddest thing you've ever seen? Don't you want to be truthful to little old pitiful Tom?"

"No," he replied stubbornly, squirming against my hold.

I tsked at him and shook my head in an ashamed manner. "I'll just have to punish you then."

His eyes widened in fear. "Punish me?"

"Yup. You can either tell me the truth, or...I can suck on your neck and another area for a few hours until you pass out. Your choice."

"This is nonconsent!" He screeched half heartedly, his hips involuntarily grinding against mine as he spoke. Huh. He's never done that before. Maybe he's finally warming up to me.

"It's not nonconsent when you literally want me to punish you. Look." I looked down below us and he followed, blushing and letting out a surprised gasp at his movements. "If that doesn't say 'punish me please' then I don't know what does."

He didn't say a word. He just turned his head to the side and pouted.

Welp. He asked for it.

~

"You good?" I asked him, turning off the faucet before anymore bubbles could be produced. He lazily nodded his head and let it fall to the side, going completely out cold. I've really killed him this time. Oops.

His tub is so much bigger than mine, it's like a mini swimming pool inside his bathroom. It seems like everything he owns is bigger than mine, and when I say everything, I mean everything. If I wasn't trying to make up for exhausting the hell out of him, I'd be in that tub with him in three seconds flat. I tossed the empty bottle of bubble bath into the trash while I heard him growl quietly and mutter something. "I hate you."

I grinned, plopping down on the tub step again and leaning my head on the edge of the bath. "You love me. Enjoy your bubble bath, Mr. Grumps. I didn't travel two miles on foot to the store and back for bubble bath just for you to gripe the whole time you're bathing."

"It's not normal to be this oversensitive...ugh." He shifted uncomfortably in the water, making the bubbles slosh every where and some spill out to attack my clothes. I didn't mind though. The bubbles and water were really warm.

"It is if you were stimulated for two hours and came six times. You should've just been truthful with me Jordan~" I sang.

"I didn't know you were gonna do that for two hours!"

"I said until you passed out, and you passed out the sixth time. I keep my word Sparkly dick. Remember that next time."

"Yeah I'll certainly remember the amount of torture I went through today, that's for sure. Screw you Tom."

"Hey, six times is something you should be proud of. I can't even go twice without fainting. You're a legend baby." I leaned over and kissed his temple, making his cheeks flush red. He sighed and closed his eyes again, sinking down in the water like a cute little duck.

"You're infuriating."

"What does that mean?" I asked with faux cluelessness.

"Shut up. Go make me a sandwich."

"As you wish, master!" I made a dramatical exit from his bathroom, even going out of my way to bow before I skipped gracefully away from the tub and out of the huge bathroom. I earned a small giggle from him, but nothing more because of his little grudge against me today. Oh well. He'll forgive me eventually.

The only things he had in his fridge to make a sandwich with was peanut butter and jelly, so I assumed that's the kind he wanted. After I spent a good ten minutes trying to spread the peanut butter on the damn thing, I finally squeezed on some jelly and rushed back to the bathroom. He's probably gonna laugh at me for taking ten minutes to make a stupid sandwich, but it's not like I've made that many before. Sonja usually makes food for Tucker and I, and when she's not home I eat chips and other junk foods until she does come home. It's completely pathetic that I count on someone else to feed me, but I don't care. I'm used to being pathetic. The word was whispered behind my back all through out high school.

"I've got a samich for a mister Sparkley pants!" I sang, gracefully entering the room just as I had when I exited it. He didn't laugh this time, though he did let a small grin slip, but it was gone on seconds before I could call him out on it. I kneeled at the bathtub and humbly offered the plate, which he took with feisty reluctance.

"It's about time. Did you have to grow wheat to get the bread and then make the sandwich?" He took an ungrateful bite out of the thing, not bothering to thank me or even spare me a second glance as he chomped away. Wow. He's really content on keeping this grudge.

"I was putting extra special love in it! Don't you appreciate my love sandwich Jordan?"

He stopped chewing to stare at me. "Tell me you're just talking about love figuratively. If you put something in this sandwich-"

"I didn't put anything in it. I'm just joking."

"Okay then." He began munching away again. Damn, he is not budging. Maybe some singing will cheer him up.

"People let me tell bout my best friend! Warm hearted-"

His long sigh of frustration caused me to stop. "Tom. Stop. Please."

Huh. Maybe he is legitimately pissed with me right now. But why? I thought he liked what we did together, he really seemed to enjoy it during. Was it the overstimulation? Did I go too far with it? He didn't say he was hurting at all while I was doing it, but maybe he was too shy to speak up. Oh god. I hope I didn't completely pressure him into doing something he absolutely did not want to with me. Oh my god I so did that. I'm such a terrible person. What was I thinking? Here lately I haven't really been stopping to ask if he was okay, if he wanted me to stop, if he was uncomfortable with the things we've been doing. Well...I've been doing.

I need alcohol.

Leaving from the bathroom as fast as I possibly could whilst ignoring Jordan's asking where I was going, I snatched my jacket off of his couch and slid it on, before throwing open the door and walking out. It's rude, I know it's rude just to leave him there after what I just did, but I can't stay a minute longer now that I've got alcohol on my mind. I'll just take the bus to the bar, I'm sure there's one I can catch that goes downtown.

A good fifteen minutes later, I was trudging down the usual path to the bar, where James would be standing just like he always stood, shining a glass or serving a customer with a towel draped over his shoulder. When I looked up to expect him I was startled when I didn't see him behind the counter. There was somebody else standing behind it, a...really cute guy actually. He wore the same calm smile James always wore, but I knew he couldn't in the least bit be related to James. He was ginger, with small little freckles decorating his cheeks and a pair of dimples in each one. He was well built, but I wouldn't say necessarily that he was buff.

He was leant over the wooden counter top, pouring a beer for a guy of never seen before. He seemed pretty happy pouring that beer too, smiling at the man in front of him like the guy was his next meal or something. The gingers eyes flickered to mine and just as quickly went back to the other mans. He said something and gave a quick nod, setting the beer down and moving over to where I was. I was a bit more distracted by the other guy though. He was hunched up in the corner with his red hood pulled up, like he had no intent of letting anyone notice him, which was probably true. The ginger man approached me with a warm smile on his thin lips. "Hello. What can I get you?"

I actually felt a shiver run up my body when I heard his voice. Hot damn.

"Um, I'm looking for James actually. You know...tall guy, skinny as hell, sounds like the monopoly guy when he was sixteen? Is he here?"

"Oh no, his shift doesn't start until eight. You're a bit early." Wow, his voice is deep. He sounds a fifty years old, despite him looking about twenty. He's British too, it makes him all the more attractive. He's like the twenty one year old monopoly guy...me likey.

"Ah. My bad. Yeah I'll take one of those." I pointed at the familiar drink on the shelf behind him. He nodded and went to retrieve it, and I seized the moment to look over at the red hooded guy again. I caught him peering at me, but he quickly turned back away as soon as my eyes landed on him. He's weird.

The ginger returned with my drink a few seconds later, noticing where my gaze was. "Don't stare at him too much please, he's an awkward little thing. Gets nervous very easily."

"Do you know him?" I questioned. He acted like he did when he poured him a beer, he was practically breathing down the guys neck.

"Yes, that's Ryley. But um...don't call him Ryley, if you ever speak to him just call him Champwan. I'm Declan, by the way."

I nodded, taking a small sip of my drink. It tasted really good actually. Ginger boy just might be a little better at making drinks than James. "Whys he so awkward? S'not like I'm gonna bite him or something. He keeps looking at me like I'm gonna take a chunk out of his ass." He was peering at me again, this time not even bothering to be discreet about it. I resisted the urge to flip him off. Jordan wouldn't approve of that.

Ugh. Jordan.

Declan looked over at the boy, smiled, and gave a little wave in his direction. The boy blushed and turned back to his drink. He's ten times more awkward than Jordan, and that's really saying something. Declan sighed. "He doesn't like people all that well."

"We share a common interest." I chugged down my drink in one gulp, and Declan laughed. Glad to know he likes my jokes just like James does. He poured some more of it into my glass, and I nearly flooded the counter top from impatience of having to wait for him to finish filling it. Ugh. I wish I could drink some vodka.

"You never revealed your name stranger. Wait, let me guess it! Are you a...Thomas?" He grinned, knowing he'd gotten the answer right.

I was shocked. "Dude, how did you do that?"

"James talks about you a lot," he giggled. "Didn't take me long to recognize you. Crude humor, fast chugger, and a wonderful conversationalist. You are the famous Tom Cassell that James seems to be utterly fascinated by."

I snorted at the comment and Dec giggled some more. "Wow. Glad to know he loves me so much."

"You know if I hadn't met his girlfriend, I would've thought for sure he was into men. It was a disappointment really, I thought I had a chance with him."

"Same here buddy. You're cute though. I'm sure you could find somebody." I sipped some more of my drink while a wide grin spread across Declan's face. I'd sooo tap him if I wasn't slowly trying to tap Jordan fucking Maron too.

"Oh thank you, but I believe I've already found that somebody." He looked down at the bar, giving another wave in Ryley's direction. I watched the boy sigh a little and wave back awkwardly, blush still dusting his cheeks. He likes that awkward mess of a guy? Damn. Guess that crosses him out for me to bang.

"What's the story behind that?" I chuckled, although I wasn't the least bit interested. If anything, I disliked Ryley now that he'd stolen the ginger hottie I planned on screwing into a mattress later on.

Declan only sighed dreamily, resting his head on his hand as he stared at the poor wriggling Ryley. "Met him in med school. When I get my business running, he's going to my little nurse. Cute hm?"

I nearly snickered at how cliche it was. "I feel like he'd scare away the patients to be honest." But that is the cutest thing I've ever heard in my whole life, even if I hate them and I'm almost sure they're both plastic people. Meet your soulmate in med school and then later on have him as your assistant nurse. That's a love story right there. Not as romantic as finding your soul mate in a piss and vomit scented restroom, but close to it.

"He does need to work on his people skills. Ryley! Come sit over here!"

The boy didn't move from his spot. If anything, he went completely rigid after hearing Dec call out for him. The ginger sighed and jogged over to the corner to retrieve the boy. Oh god, now I've got to put up with two people I don't know nor have the intention of knowing. Maybe if I bolt while Declan has his back turned-

"Tada! It's Ryley Wan!"

And before I knew it, a grumpy red hooded kid was sitting in the stool beside me and Declan was smiling his ass off while he was literally inches away from my face. Great. This is going to be a fun night.

"Ryley! Say hello to Tom!" Declan poked the boys arm, but he said nothing. He just pulled his hood further up over his face and sighed. I guess that means he hates me. Same here awkward kid, I hate the both of you for being so stupidly adorable and fake. I'm assuming you're fake anyway, most people are.

"Ryley. Stop being a mute. Say hi." Declan poked him again.

The kid make a weird hissing noise and smacked his hand away. "I told you not to introduce me to new people, I tell you this every time I am with you in public and you still do exactly the opposite. What is wrong with you?"

Huh. So he can speak. And he can be sassy. I'm still trying to determine whether or not he's fake or real.

"What's wrong with you Ryley? I just want you to have a friend."

"I do have a friend!" The boy snapped.

"A friend besides me! You're a social abomination, I literally can't fix you because you're so awkward!"

"Well maybe I don't want to be fixed!"

"What if something happens to me one day? Do you want to be stuck all alone with no one to fall back on?"

"Are you suggesting I won't get laid ever again if you decide to unfriend me one day? Are we actually discussing this?"

"Yes, we are. And yes that's what I'm saying."

The boy spun around to face me and, in one quick fluid motion, ripped off his hood and grabbed the back of my head before smashing my lips in his. It was over in three seconds. Okay so he's not fake, he's just really awkward and testy. He looked me dead in the eyes and asked, "Would you fuck me?"

I had to look him over first. He was hot, but not as hot as Jordan. But very close to him. He was Asian I think, and he had straight black hair that was messy and looked like it hadn't been washed in a few days. He sort of looked like that Evan guy, but Ryley had fuller cheeks and a less toned body than Evan. I shrugged. "Yeah, you're pretty hot. I'd do you."

He turned back to Declan and glared at him, snatching the glass he'd been drinking from and holding it above his face. "Screwed you wrong again, Declan Jones. Do me a big favor and pay for this why don't you?" He threw the glass at Declan's head and it barely missed the guy before it smashed against the counter, making shards of glass fly everywhere. Well, he almost hit the counter anyway. He was an inch off and instead smashed it right onto my arm. I yelped when three jagged shards stabbed into my skin, deep into my arm, and blood began pouring out of the wounds. My stomach churned.

Shit. Blood.

"Oh god!" Ryley squeaked, throwing his hands over his mouth and paling three shades whiter. "Oh god, are you okay? Declan get him a towel, c-call an ambulance! Oh my god I'm so so sorry, are you alright? I didn't mean to, that was so stupid-"

"Ryley calm down," Declan said quietly, grabbing the towel from the counter and placing it near my arm. "He's fine. This is fixable. Tom are you alright? Would you like us to call you an ambulance or drive you to a hospital?"

I felt sick. I felt so sick, like my stomach was turning itself inside out. It was getting all over my skin and my cup and the counter top. I puked. Someone jerked my head sideways and I felt like screaming at them, but I just kept spilling my guts into the floor.

"Sorry Tom," I heard Declan apologize. "I didn't want you to get vomit in your wounds."

Oh thats a lovely picture. I retched at the thought of it.

"Uh oh. He's got haemophobia, doesn't he?" I heard Ryley ask. What the hell is haemophobia?

"I believe so. Come on Tom, let's get you to the hospit-"

"No," I said in between pants, "I can't...can't afford it." If I went to the hospital, I'd be paying bills off for the rest of my life. Freaking American health insurance, this country damn well robs anyone who comes in it. Ugh.

"You don't have insurance?" Declan questioned.

"Does it look like I have insurance? I hate this country and it's stupid freakin'..." I had to stop so I could retch again.

"I-It's okay! I'll pay for it, all the bills and everything you need to recover! I'll drive you to the hospital too! Um, Declan can you-"

"I'll close up the bar and come with you. I'll get a bucket and a few towels before we leave, sit tight Tom."

Ten minutes later, I'm in the back of Ryleys black Malibu with a blood soaked towel wrapped around my hand and Declan spewing out calming exercises that are just annoying the hell out of me. We hit a bump in the road at one point and I looked down accidentally. That was enough to set the dizziness off. I leaned back against the seat as black swirled around the edges of my eyesight. I remember Declan shouting at Ryley to step on it before my eyes crossed together and everything went black.

All I wanted was some alcohol. What did I do to deserve this?
~~~